A woman’s dilemma: finding the true meaning of feminism

IRON MOUNTAIN — “So you’re going to be a working woman then?” I remember my grandfather saying these words to me perfectly. I was a junior in college, telling him about my after graduation plans, and I was suddenly at a loss for words. It felt like such a dig, a burn, at what I was doing.

In my mind, and the mind of many others, the term working woman held about the same positivity as the word feminism. My plan was nothing short of normal. I was going to move to Chicago, get a job teaching on the south side, and buy a cat. Somehow, this translated as being a working woman which then translated to not getting married and not having a family.

Ironically, now that I am married, he wants me to keep working. Yet in that moment, I didn’t know what to say to the man I admired so much. To be completely honest, I’d spent almost my entire college career defending a woman’s right to stay at home, and here I felt a strong need to defend a woman’s right to go to work.

In college, I was the minority. I wasn’t a full liberal and I wasn’t a full conservative. I was a libertarian. I was spiritual, but not religious. I loved having friends and going out, but I wasn’t in a sorority. So when one of my professors of feminist literature made the statement that if a woman accepts an engagement ring during a proposal, she’s selling herself to a man, I was one of the few who disagreed.

She also insisted that if a man held a door open for a woman he was simply doing so to exert his power over her. This, to me, was absurd. Then it happened. The penultimate conversation about how if a woman stays at home with her kids, and doesn’t work, she’s not reaching her full potential and she’s allowing the men of the world to win the battle of the sexes.

I took offense to this. Not because I necessarily wanted to be a stay at home mom or because I didn’t think a woman should work, but because my mother and grandmother and aunt and friend were all stay at home moms… and also were and are very strong women, who never gave in to what a man said they should or shouldn’t be. To be completely honest, most of my childhood was spent surrounded by stay at home moms.

I, and my friends, were blessed with this, and it also made me biased against the idea that stay at home moms somehow were not exerting their right of feminism. Without realizing what I was really doing, I quickly retorted, “How could you say that?” A heated debate ensued, and shots were fired directly at me. I’d jumped into the metaphorical lioness’ den.

Statements like, “If a woman stays home, then how is she showing she’s equal to a man?” “When a woman stays at home and doesn’t go to work, she sets all women back, because she’s not exerting her right to work,” and “Being a stay at home mom is just another way men exert their power over us, and it allows them to control our lives” were all tossed my way. I sat there stunned. How was this feminism? Feminism to me was allowing a woman to choose, freely, how she wanted to live her life. It didn’t matter how I defended the choice to be a house wife, they were not there to hear it. I had unequivocally branded myself as anti-feminist. Thus, when my grandfather called me a working woman, I immediately felt a pain in my heart because I’d fought so often for women at home that I didn’t realize I’d still need to fight for women to not be at home.

I felt as if I was in limbo. A woman who didn’t really belong in the generation she was born to, and also didn’t fit into the generation of her parents and grandparents. See, the underlying problem with feminism is that too many people believe it to be equivalent of hating man, and on the opposite side, too many people believe it to be only accurate if you’re doing exactly what man does. Both men and women have a distorted view of what feminism means, so much so that terms like “manism” and “women against feminism” are a thing. When I was younger, and still even sometimes today, I didn’t consider myself a feminist, because I viewed it negatively. It’s still viewed negatively, but that isn’t just man’s fault; it’s also the fault of women.

Manism exists because some men feel they’re being degraded, and whether or not women have been degraded over the years doesn’t give us the immediate right to therefore degrade men. Women against feminism exists because some women also feel degraded, because they’re made to believe that their life choices are not supporting the so called ideas of feminism, and are thus not supporting womankind. I believe in the rights of humans.

I believe in my right to work, or not work; in the right of a woman to believe that an engagement ring means selling yourself to a man or not to believe it. That’s the true definition of feminism. It’s not hating the opposite sex or forcing all women into one box, but celebrating the differences and values of those around you, in a way that promotes self love. Feminism is allowing a woman to be exactly who she wants to be, despite your own personal beliefs.

After I graduated, I didn’t quite stick to my plan. I didn’t go to work in Chicago right away. Instead, I came home and helped my family with something they were going through. I still worked as a sub and tutor in town, and helped to home school my sister. I rented a house and was accountable for myself. I was both a working woman and a family woman. I was my own kind of feminist. After nearly a year of being home and working, I did move to Chicago and accepted a position teaching on the South Side. For the few years that I was there, teaching my students was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and the most rewarding experience I’ve ever had. They were my dream, but they weren’t my only dream. Now that I’m home again, with my brand new husband, I’ve once again had to ponder the title of working woman. This time, however, I know myself a little more, and I know that my life as a woman doesn’t have to be one or the other. It can be both.


Featured events of the week:

ManorCare Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Kingsford will be hosting their Halloween Party on Tuesday. Jim Clement will be entertaining and performing a variety of music for the residents. Halloween themed cookies and punch will be served, and Halloween decorations will be displayed. Staff will be dressed in costume, and residents are always encouraged to be in costume as well. Families and friends are always welcome to join in on the festivities, and to help their residents with costumes. The event will go from 2 to 3 p.m. and will be held in the dining room.

Maryhill Nursing home will be hosting a trick or treat event for youngsters from the Niagara school at 1:40 p.m. on Tuesday. Residents and families are welcome to participate. Donations of candy for the trick or treaters are needed, and can be brought to the Activities Department.





Scenes and sounds, 11:45 a.m. (Monday through Saturday).

Sunday: Scenes and sounds, noon; Uno, 1 p.m.; dunking donuts, 2 p.m.; church, 2:15 p.m.

Monday: Pretty nails, 10 a.m.; resident council, 11 a.m.; brouhaha, 1 p.m.; resident birthday party, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Crafts, 10 a.m.; costumes and spooky decorating, 1 p.m.; Woodland Halloween trick or treat, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Room visits, 10 a.m.; rosary, 11 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; movie and popcorn, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Reading buddy, 10 a.m.; bible study, 11 a.m.; What’s that word?, 1 p.m.; Pokerno, 2 p.m.

Friday: Coffee social, 10:30 a.m.; Mass, 11 a.m.; bunko, 1 p.m.; sing a long, 2:30 p.m.; happy hour, 3 p.m.

Saturday: Meet and greet, 10:30 a.m.; spinning records, 11 a.m.; Daily News, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Iron County Medical Facility

Crystal Falls

Room visits, 1 p.m., (Monday and Friday).

Sunday: You be the judge, 10 a.m.; one to one church visitors, 8:30 to 11 a.m.; room visits, 9 to 11 a.m.; bingorama, 2 p.m.; Church of Christ, 3 p.m.

Monday: Cooking, 9 a.m.; DT luncheon, noon; pumpkin judging, 1 p.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Costume prep, 9 a.m.; prayer, 10 a.m.; employee costume parade, 1 p.m.; Halloween birthday party, 2 p.m.; spooky movie, 6 p.m.

*For Wednesday through Saturday activities, please contact the facility.

*Highlights for the month; Nov. 10. Veterans program at 2 p.m.; Oct. 11, Fall Harvest Bazaar, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.; Nov. 14, Christmas tree galleria; Nov. 15, Hunting Camp Day with community breakfast at 9 a.m. and big buck bingo at  2 p.m.; Oct. 17, special party with Soundz of Time at  2 p.m.; Nov. 27, DT cooking and luncheon, cooking at 9 a.m. with lunch served at noon; Nov. 30, monthly birthday party at 2 p.m. with special music, cake and ice cream.



Wet your whistle, 9:30 a.m. (daily).

Movie, 10:45 a.m. (daily), and 3:15 p.m. (Monday through Friday).

Gathering place, 11:40 a.m. (Saturday and Sunday), and 11:40 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. (Monday through Friday).

Popcorn Day, Fridays (weekly).

Protestant Church service, Sunday, 3 p.m.

Exercises, 10 a.m. (daily).

Sunday: Just jokes, 10:15 a.m.; morsels and more, 1:30 p.m.

Monday: Did you know?, 10:15 a.m.; Marian Linder entertains, 2 p.m.; Pokeno, 5:45 p.m.

Tuesday: Halloween trivia, 10:15 a.m.; Halloween party, Jim Clement entertains, 2 p.m.; movie and a manicure, 5:45 p.m.

Wednesday: Remembering when, 10:15 p.m.; bocce, 2 p.m.; Flip Five, 5:45 p.m.

Thursday: Crosswords, 10:15 a.m.; good neighbor bingo, 2 p.m.; crafts, 5:45 p.m.

Friday: All about November, 10:15 p.m.; Catholic Mass, 2 p.m.; chips n’ chatter, 2:30 p.m.

Saturday: Current events, 10:15 a.m.; bngo, 2 p.m.

Maryhill Manor

Niagara, Wis.

Rosary, 8:30 a.m. (Monday through Friday).

Parachute, 1:30 p.m. (daily).

Monthly support group for grief and loss, second Monday of the month at 2 p.m.

Weekend pet visits.

Sunday: Rosary, 8:30 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 9 a.m.; bingo, 10:15 a.m.; tee time, golf, 1:30 p.m.; Protestant service, 2:30 p.m.

Monday: Joker-eno, 10:15 a.m.; line dances, 1 p.m.

Tuesday: Bingo, 10:15 a.m.; trick or treaters from Niagara, 1:40 p.m.; Yahtzee, 6:15

Wednesday: Bowling, 10:15 a.m.; joker-eno, 2 p.m.; bible stories, 3 p.m.; movie and popcorn, 6:15 p.m.

Thursday: Catholic Mass, 9 a.m.; Scattegories, 10:15 a.m.; Derby Day, 2 p.m.; Whammo, 6:15 p.m.

Friday: Mass and adoration, 10 a.m.; trivia and coffee, 10:15 a.m.; happy hour, Denise S., 2 p.m.

Saturday: Joker-eno, 10:15 a.m.; pamper and polish coffee social, 2 p.m.

Maryhill Manor, Alzheimer’s Unit

Niagara, Wis.

Grooming, 8 a.m. (daily).

Lunch, 11 a.m. (daily).

Bread making, 12 p.m. (daily).

Chicken soup, communication program, 4 p.m. (daily).

Dinner, 5 p.m. (daily).

Sensory Group, 6 p.m. (daily).

Movie, 6:30 p.m. (daily).

Sunday: Table ball, 9 a.m.; puzzles, 9:45 a.m.; bible stories, 10:15 a.m.; sing-a-long, 12:15 p.m.; bowling, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; balloon ball, 3:30 p.m.

Monday: Table ball, 9 a.m.; spelling bee, 9:45 a.m.; bible stories, 10:15 a.m.; old TV shows, 12:15 p.m.; Animal Kingdom, 1 p.m.; pamper and polish, 2 p.m.; kick ball, 3:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Play dough molds, 9 a.m.; puzzles, 9:45 a.m.; table ball, 10:15 a.m.; sing-a-long, 12:15 p.m.; foot soaks, 1 p.m.; creative art, 2 p.m.; balloon ball, 3:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Play dough molds, 9 a.m.; spelling bee, 9:45 a.m.; coloring, 10:15 a.m.; old TV shows, 12:15 p.m.; Through the years, 1 p.m.; pamper and polish, 2 p.m.; golf, 3:30 p.m.

Thursday: Table ball, 9 a.m.; puzzles, 9:45 a.m.; bible stories, 10:15 a.m.; sing-a-long, 12:15 p.m.; foot soaks, 1 p.m.; men’s group, 2 p.m.; parachute, 3:30 p.m.

Friday: Play dough molds, 9 a.m.; spelling bee, 9:45 a.m.; coloring, 10:15 a.m.; old TV shows, 12:15 p.m.; creative art, 1 p.m.; happy hour/music and memory, 2 p.m.; kick ball, 3:30 p.m.

Saturday: Table ball, 9 a.m.; puzzles, 9:45 a.m.; bible stories, 10:15 a.m.; sing-a-long, 12:15 p.m.; foot soaks, 1 p.m.; bowling, 2 p.m.; parachute, 3:30 p.m.

Victorian Pines

Iron Mountain

Exercise, 11 a.m. (Monday through Friday).

Juice pass, 10 a.m. (daily).

Shopping days: Tuesdays and Fridays at 10 a.m., must sign up.

Sunday: Bible study, 1:30 p.m.; Refreshments, 3 p.m.

Monday: Bingo, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Trivia, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Golden Throats, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Crosswords, 2 p.m.; rosary, 3 p.m.

Friday: Bingo, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Saturday: Movie and popcorn, 2 p.m.

Florence Health Services

Florence, Wis.

Sunday: Bingo, 10 a.m.; movie with popcorn, 2 p.m.

Monday: Window cling craft, 10 a.m.; bingo with Bette, 2 p.m.; room visits, 3:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Pastor Doug Church service, 10 a.m.; Halloween party, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Dominoes, 10 a.m.; music by Tom Palmer, 2 p.m.; room visits, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Pastor Jason, Lutheran service, 10 a.m.; pretty nails and manicures, 2 p.m.

Friday: Catholic communion service, 10 a.m.; balloon badminton, 2 p.m.; social hour, 3:30 p.m.

Saturday: Bingo, 10 a.m.; farkle dice game, 2 p.m.; movie night, 6:30 p.m.

Pinecrest Medical Care Facility


Life connections, 9:45 a.m. every Monday.

Busy bee, 12:30 p.m. (Monday through Friday).

Sunday: Grace church, 10 a.m.; shopping outing, 10 a.m.; Yahtzee, 2 p.m.; hangman, 2 p.m.

Monday: One to one visits, 10 a.m.; song service, 1:30 p.m.; rosary, 2:30 p.m.; Plinko, 2:30 p.m.; one to one visits, 6 p.m.

Tuesday: Party prep, 10 a.m.; North Central trick or treating, 1 p.m.; Halloween party, 2:45 p.m.; Yahtzee, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Mass, 10 a.m.; movie, 2 p.m.; ladder ball, 3:30 p.m.

Thursday: Exercise, 10 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; Dominoes, 3:45 p.m.; one to one visits, 6 p.m.

Friday: Fish fry wranglers, 11 a.m.; Bunco, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Current events, 10 a.m.; beach ball toss, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; trivia, 2 p.m.

Victorian Heights

Crystal Falls


*Activities director out on leave. Please call the home for additional information.


Note: All centers ask for 24 hour advanced reservations for lunch. If you have meals delivered and will not be home, notify the center.

Alpha-Mastodon Center


Meal every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday at noon.

Amasa Center


Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Lunch at noon.

Bingo on Tuesdays.

Free meal drawing on Thursdays.

Breen Center


Meals: Monday through Friday.

Cards and games available 9 a.m. to noon and 1 to 2 p.m.

Hostess on duty Monday through Friday.  

Treats and coffee, 8:30 to 11:30 a.m.

Center retail store is open Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.; volunteers and donations are welcome.

Birthdays acknowledged every day.

Evening meals are held first and third Thursday of the month. Salad bar opens at 4 p.m. with dinner served at 5 p.m. Donations are $4 for those 60 and older and $5 for 60 and younger.

Blood pressure and blood sugar testing, every fourth Wednesday.

Crystal Falls Center

Head Cook, Tracy West


Meals will be served on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays at 5 p.m. (a salad bar will be open at 4:30 p.m.). The dinner donation is $5 for those age 60 and over and $6 for those under age 60. There is a take-out container charge of $1. All persons are invited. 

Cribbage will be played on Wednesdays at 1 p.m. and be concluded in time for the dinner.

Center is closed Thursday through Sunday. 

A site council meeting is held on the third Wednesday at 3 p.m. 

Blood pressure taken by request anytime the center is open.

Crystal Lake Center


The center is closed on the weekends.

Monday: Woodcarvers, 10 a.m.; majong in dining hall, noon; Les Artistes Art Club, noon; Bridge Club, 12:15 p.m.

Tuesday and Thursday: Pinochle, 12:30 p.m.

Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday: Billiards, 9:30 a.m.

Wednesday: Spinning Spools Quilters Guild, 1 p.m.; Crafters, scrap bookers, etc. also welcome; Knitting and crocheting class, 1 to 3 p.m.

Friday: Smear, 12:30 p.m.

Last Saturday of the month: Music Jam starting at 1 p.m. Admission is free.

Dances are held on the second and fourth Friday’s of the month from 7 to 10 p.m. Admission is $6 and coffee is free.

The Photo Club meets on the first Tuesday of the month from 1 to 3 p.m.

Evening meals are usually on the second and fourth Tuesday of the month. They have a salad bar beginning at 4 p.m. with the meal beginning at 4:30 p.m. A donation of $4 is accepted for seniors (60 plus), but not required.

Home delivered meals are for seniors 60 plus and can be delivered seven days a week. Suggested donation is $4 per meal.Call Chris Tramotin at 906-774-2256 ext. 235.            

Transportation is available Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Call the center to book your ride.

Felch Center


Meals served Monday through Wednesday at 11:30 a.m.

Bingo on the first and third Wednesday of each month after lunch.

Congregate jigsaw puzzle done daily.

Aging and Disability Resource Center of Florence County


Director: Lori Friberg

Three senior dining locations are listed below:

Fence Center/Town Hall


Meal at noon on Wednesdays only. Reservations are requested. Cribbage and cards are available.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall


Meal is served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday. 

Jigsaw puzzles, cards, cribbage and board games available. The coffee is always on.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora


Meal is served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Thursday. Jigsaw puzzles, cribbage, cards, and board games are available. The coffee is always on.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Pam Haluska


Meal is Monday through Friday at noon. Suggested donation is $3 for those 60 and older and $7 for those under 60.

Morning coffee is available each day

Fifteen games of “fun bingo” are played each Tuesday and Friday along with 50/50.

Tuesday: Bingo, 12:45 p.m.

Wednesday: Cards played in the afternoon. Call ahead to see if a game will be going on.

Friday: Bingo, 12:45 p.m.

Monday through Friday: Walking in the gym from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. A treadmill is also available.

Friendly interaction with other crafters.

Iron River Center


Meals served Monday through Thursday from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.; $4 donation is encouraged (over 60) and $5 (required under 60).

Salad bar with Thursday meal, 4 p.m. and dinner at 4:30 p.m.

DICSA operates all meals and transportation out of the Iron River Center. Rides are $2.50 (over 60) and $3 (under 60). Call 265-6134 to schedule a ride

Niagara Northwoods Senior Cafe and Center

Corrie Maule, Meal site Manager


Jill Anderson, Senior Center Director

715-251- 4154

Noon Meals served Monday through Thursday

Transportation to the meal site from the Niagara area is offered.

We welcome any Senior groups who would like to use our meal site as their meeting place; join them for lunch and then stay to have your meeting or social time.

Wii games, cards, puzzles, board games available to play for your enjoyment

Nov. 1, salad bar.

Other activities are in the works; your suggestions are always welcome.

If you have not tried our meal site/senior center we invite you to give us a try. If you haven’t been here in a while, we encourage you to come back.

Call 24 hours in advance for meal reservations.

Norway Center

Director: Susie Slining


Monday through Thursday: Meals served at noon with salad bar. Soup is also available on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11 a.m. Meal donation is $5.

Milk, juice, bread, fruit, tea, and coffee served daily.

Two special theme noon meals each month with bingo, prizes, and 50/50.

Two evening meals, 5 p.m., on the first Monday and third Wednesday of the month with bingo, prizes, and 50/50.

Nov. 1: Blood pressure clinic, 11 a.m. to noon.

Nov. 11: Pasty sale, all orders must be picked up at noon.

Cards are played daily after the noon meal.

Craft and exercise classes: Mondays and Thursdays.

Ceramic and art classes: Wednesdays.

Note: A CSFP food card (green card) is available to income-eligible seniors. Make an appointment to get signed up.

Center membership cards are available for $5 at the front desk.

Sagola Center


Meals: Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, 11:45 a.m.

Cards: Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday.

Commodities every other month and quarterly commodities are every three months.

Puzzle table for all to enjoy.