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Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you’re being selfish

IRON MOUNTAIN — People have asked me how I’ll be able to keep writing the way I do. They say that eventually I’m going to run out of stories to turn into writings. I tell them that it’s true, eventually I’ll probably run out of ideas on stories from my past, but that is the beauty of life; the experiences never stop, thus the opportunities for stories never truly come to an end. However, like any writer, I’ve said that writer’s block is a real thing, and sometimes no matter how many stories you have, you simply can’t seem to figure out how to tell them.

This week, this was me. I was on vacation with my family, and so I was slightly distracted, but despite the distractions I couldn’t seem to find anything to say. I sat at the kitchen table of the condo we were staying in, munching on a sandwich that my father had made me because he is the “sandwich king,” listening to a special on the History channel about Hitler during the war in the background, and stared at the blankness of the screen in front of me. It had happened. I hadn’t run out of stories, but for some reason, my fingers and my brain couldn’t formulate a plan on how to tell them.

While struggling with the pressure of figuring out what to say, I heard something from the TV special playing in the background. It said, “Despite Hitler raising Germany to a political power once again, and gaining the support of a nation, he was determined to rid the country of a cancer (the Jews) he felt was poisoning them.” I thought to myself, what if Hitler had just tried being happy before he became one of history’s most powerful villains? What if, instead of anger owning his heart, joy resided instead? While I know that looking at Hitler as merely an unhappy man is diminishing his evil greatly, it made me realize an important aspect of life.

For years, my grandmother has told me all she wants is to see me happy. My mother has always said to seek out the joy in every day, even if you don’t want to. Often, people make the idea of happiness too important. Happiness, is not everything, but happiness is important, yet the idea of how we achieve happiness is what is truly skewed. People say that if you’re not happy in your job, then leave it. If you’re not happy with your life, then change it. If you’re not happy in your relationship, then find a different one in which you will be. The idea that happiness can be gained by eliminating certain aspects of life may be partly true, but it isn’t the whole truth. The whole truth, is that the only person capable of creating one’s happiness, is yourself. You see, the reality of the day on our vacation that had me feeling so desperately road blocked was also a day that was not going well. Honestly, it was one of the worst days I’ve had in a long time. On a subconscious level I thought that because I didn’t feel happy, I wouldn’t really have anything to write about. Realistically, I had reasons to be unhappy, and they were legitimate. There was a lot going on in the moment that I couldn’t change, and the feelings I had were justified, but at the same time, it was only myself who was choosing to remain unhappy.

So, I began to think. What are the things that make me happy? I bombarded my mind with what brought me joy. Rain. I love rain. I love how it makes everything sparkle, how it makes the earth smell, and I love when it’s late at night, in the darkest of hours, and the water droplets land on the roof and sing their own song, as the thunder and lightning join in on the chorus. My sister. Even though because of our age difference we sometimes get annoyed with each other, she is my truest of loves. Just looking at her makes me happy. While on our trip, while I was feeling so down and felt like I wasn’t being a good sister, she told me that I’ve been there for her her whole life and that sometimes she can be there for me too; she’s officially growing up. My cat. He is infuriatingly needy, but he is one of a kind. He only drinks water from coffee mugs, he comes to his name, and he will pull your hand into his chest as if he’s hugging you, and then push it up to his head to be pet. Fresh wildflowers. To me, they feel like life. Real, imperfect, and beautifully different. Crushed ice. When our fridge went out, and we had to buy a new one, my husband and I were stressed about the money we had to spend that we felt we really didn’t have, and yet, our new fridge came with a water and ice dispenser in the door. This was a silly childhood dream that I’d had since I was a girl, and so the fact that crushed ice was a readily available commodity, made me smile. It was a silver lining to our financial crisis.

Sunshine. I hate mornings, and I hate waking up early, yet every night I leave my curtains open just a bit so that I can wake up with the Earth’s brightest star. Somehow opening your eyes to a world that is beautifully lit makes the early hours far more bearable. One o’clock in the morning, because that’s when my husband gets home from work. The smell of fresh laundry, because it reminds me of my mother and my old bed at her house. Gas stations, because I associate them with traveling to Chicago or Purdue or home. Brunch equals games and family and Sunday mornings. Jane Austen, record players, and French doors. The list of things that makes me happy could go on and one.

On that day, where I felt tired, exhausted, and plagued with hurt, thinking of my favorite things didn’t take my pain away, but it did remind me of the power that I hold over my own mind. Eleanor Roosevelt has famously said that, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” My mother has always said that no one can make you feel a certain way; they can influence you, but you choose to feel the way you do. Anger, sadness, and defeat all try to make you feel inferior. They often succeed. Yes, people tend to instigate those feelings in the first place, but it is your choice on whether or not you decide to let those feelings own you. Maybe this means you remove yourself from a situation, or maybe it means you suck it up and fake it, but no matter what, your emotion is owned by only you.

For my entire life this has been a hard concept to grasp, and I think it will continue to be for the rest of my life, but I don’t want to let outside sources control how I am, even though I often let them. I’m still learning to take ownership of my feelings, but I’m trying. When you find yourself swallowed by the negative parts of your life, that are demanding your inferiority, conquer them by using your own will. When I was feeling so down, I didn’t take full control of my emotions, but I tried to put myself into situations in which I did have more control over them. My methods were mine and mine alone. Fight to find the happiness that is in your life, even if you’re not experiencing it at that moment. Practicing a little self-preservation is OK. It’s not selfish or constricting; it’s putting up a fight, and sometimes, life needs to take a sucker punch to the gut.

——

NURSING HOMES

Freeman

Kingsford

For Thursday through Saturday schedule call the activities director.

Scenes and sounds, 11:45 a.m. Monday through Saturday.

Sunday: Scenes and sounds, noon; Uno, 1 p.m.; dunking donuts, 2 p.m.; church, 2:15 p.m.

Monday: Pretty nails, 10 a.m.; library cart, 11 a.m.; line dancers, 1:30 p.m.; ice cream social, 3 p.m.

Tuesday: Crochet and craft, 10 a.m.; reminisce, 1:15 p.m.; Kentucky Derby, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Room visits, 10 a.m.; rosary, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; movie and popcorn, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Reading buddy, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 11 a.m.; what’s that word?, 1 p.m.; bingo with Carol, 2 p.m.

Friday: What’s cooking?, 11 a.m.; Mass, 2 p.m.; sing-a-long, 2:30 p.m.; happy hour, 3 p.m.

Saturday: Meet and greet, 10:30 a.m.; spinning records, 11 a.m.; Daily News, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Iron County Medical Facility

Crystal Falls

Room visits, 1 p.m., Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Exercise, 11 a.m., Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Sunday: One-to-one church visitors, 8:30; room visits, 9 to 11 a.m.; hangman, 10 a.m.; afternoon matinee with popcorn, 1:30; Church of Christ, 3 p.m.

Monday: Crazy hat crafts, 9 to 10:30 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; VFW bingo, 2 p.m.; Sunshine Club, 2:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Room visits, 9 a.m.; book club,10 a.m.; prayer, 10 a.m.; mystery ride, 1 p.m.; travel film, 1:30 p.m.; current events, 2 p.m.; Western movie, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Community breakfast, 9 a.m.; reminisce, 10:30 a.m.; pass the prize, 2 p.m.; night bingo, 6 p.m.

Thursday: Puzzler, 9:30 a.m.; bowling, 10 a.m.; wildlife film, 1:30 p.m.; Christ United Lutheran, 2 p.m.; happy hour, 2:30 p.m.

Friday: Crazy hat crafts, 9 to 10:30 a.m.; crazy hat party, 2 p.m.; drama movie, 6 p.m.

Saturday: Puzzler, 10 a.m.; scavenger hunt, 10 a.m.; geri-gym, 11 a.m.; intergenerational social hour, 2 p.m.

ManorCare

Kingsford

Wet your whistle, 9:30 a.m. daily.

Movie, 10:45 a.m. daily, and 3:15 p.m. Monday through Friday.

Gathering place, 11:40 a.m. Saturday and Sunday, and 11:40 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Monday through Friday.

Popcorn Day Fridays.

Protestant Church service, 3 p.m. Sunday.

Exercises, 10 a.m. daily.

Sunday: Just jokes, 10:15 a.m.; morsels and more, 1:30 p.m.; Protestant church, 3 p.m.

Monday: Did you know, 10:15 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; pokeno, 5:45 p.m.

Tuesday: Trivia 10:15 a.m.; Lutheran church, 2 p.m.; movie and a manicure, 5:45 p.m.

Wednesday: Remembering when, 10:15 a.m.; St. Patrick’s Day party, Golden Throats entertain, 2 p.m.; flip five, 5:45 p.m.

Thursday: Crosswords, 10:15 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; Pictionary, 5:45 p.m.

Friday: Finish lines, 10:15 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 2 p.m.; chips n’ chatter, 2:30 p.m.

Saturday: St. Patrick’s Day social, 9:30 a.m.; St. Patrick’s facts, 10:15 a.m.; pot o’ gold bingo, 2 p.m.; movie, 3:15 p.m.

Maryhill Manor

Niagara, Wis.

Rosary, 8:30 a.m. Monday through Friday.

Parachute, 1:30 p.m. daily.

Monthly support group for grief and loss, 2 p.m. second Monday of the month.

Weekend pet visits.

Sunday: Rosary, 8:30 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 9 a.m.; bingo, 10:15 a.m.; penny ante, 1:30 p.m.; Protestant service, 2:30 p.m.; christian fellowship, 5:30 p.m.

Monday: Nickle jokereno, 10:15 a.m.; Crystal Hogan, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Bingo, 10:15 a.m.; crafts, 2 p.m.; Yahtzee, 6:15 p.m.

Wednesday: Penny ante, 10:15 a.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.; group therapy, 6:15 p.m.

Thursday: Catholic Mass, 9 a.m.; Scattegories, 10:15 a.m.; Prayer Shawl, 2 p.m.; whammo, 6:15 p.m.

Friday: Rosary, 9:30 a.m.; exercise and trivia, 10:15 a.m.; happy hour St. Patrick’s party, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Pamper and polish, 10:15 a.m.; St. Patrick’s Day trivia and social, 2 p.m.

Maryhill Manor, Alzheimer’s Unit

Niagara, Wis.

Bread making, noon daily.

Chicken soup, communication program, 4 p.m. daily.

Sensory group, 6 p.m. daily.

Movie, 6:30 p.m. daily.

Sunday: Table ball, 9 a.m.; puzzles, 9:45 a.m.; Bible stories, 10:15 a.m.; sing-a-long, 12:15 p.m.; bowling, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; balloon ball, 3:30 p.m.

Monday: Table ball, 9 a.m.; spelling bee, 9:45 a.m.; Bible stories, 10:15 a.m.; old TV shows, 12:15 p.m.; Animal Kingdom, 1 p.m.; pamper and polish, 2 p.m.; kickball, 3:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Play dough molds, 9 a.m.; puzzles, 9:45 a.m.; table ball, 10:15 a.m.; sing-along, 12:15 p.m.; foot soaks, 1 p.m.; creative art, 2 p.m.; balloon ball, 3:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Play dough molds, 9 a.m.; spelling bee, 9:45 a.m.; coloring, 10:15 a.m.; old TV shows, 12:15 p.m.; through the years, 1 p.m.; pamper and polish, 2 p.m.; golf, 3:30 p.m.

Thursday: Table ball, 9 a.m.; puzzles, 9:45 a.m.; Bible stories, 10:15 a.m.; sing-a-long, 12:15 p.m.; foot soaks, 1 p.m.; men’s group, 2 p.m.; parachute, 3:30 p.m.

Friday: Play dough molds, 9 a.m.; spelling bee, 9:45 a.m.; coloring, 10:15 a.m.; old TV shows, 12:15 p.m.; creative art, 1 p.m.; happy hour/music and memory, 2 p.m.; kickball, 3:30 p.m.

Saturday: Table ball, 9 a.m.; puzzles, 9:45 a.m.; Bible stories, 10:15 a.m.; sing-along, 12:15 p.m.; foot soaks, 1 p.m.; bowling, 2 p.m.; parachute, 3:30 p.m.

Victorian Pines

Iron Mountain

Exercise, 11 a.m. Monday through Friday.

Coffee clutch, 9:30 a.m. daily

Shopping days: 10 a.m. Tuesdays and Fridays, must sign up.

Sunday: Bible study, 2:30 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Monday: Bingo, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Tuesday: Crystal Hogan, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Catholic Mass, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Trivia, 2 p.m.; Rosary, 3 p.m.

Friday: Bingo, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Saturday: Move and popcorn, 2 p.m.

Florence Health Services

Florence, Wis.

Sunday: Bingo, 10 a.m.; hearts dice, 2 p.m.; Pastor Miller Baptist service, 3:30 p.m.

Monday: Horticulture, 10 a.m.; bingo with Bette, 2 p.m.; room visits, 3:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Resident council meeting, 10 a.m.; rainbow paintings, 2 p.m.; one on one time, 3:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Catholic Mass and rosary, 9:30 a.m.; hunt for the gold scavenger hunt, 2 p.m.; room visits, 3:30 p.m.

Thursday: Lutheran service, 10 a.m.; music by Larry Jankowski, 2 p.m.

Friday: Baking Irish soda break muffins, 10 a.m.; music by Larry Jankowski, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Bingo, 10 a.m.; Old Maid cards, 2 p.m.; St. Patrick’s Day social, 3:30 p.m.

Pinecrest Medical Care Facility

Powers

Life connections, 9:45 a.m. every Monday.

Busy bee, 12:30 p.m. Monday through Friday.

Rosary 2:30 p.m. Tuesday.

Sunday: Grace church, 10 a.m.; word puzzles, 10 a.m.; Lutheran service, 2 p.m.; trivia, 2 p.m.

Monday: Worship and communion service, 1:30 p.m.; rosary, 2:30 p.m.; bean bag toss, 3:30 p.m.; kings corners, 6 p.m.

Tuesday: Movie, 10 a.m.; social circle, 2 p.m.; decorating, 3:30 p.m.; one to one visits, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Shopping outing, 10 a.m.; Jim Clement entertains, 2 p.m.; rummy, 3:30 p.m.

Thursday: Volleyball, 10 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; cards, 3:30 p.m.; Yahtzee, 6 p.m.

Friday: Mass, 10 a.m.; St. Patrick’s Day party, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Karaoke, 10 a.m.; bingo, 10 a.m.; choir and band in MPR, 2 p.m.

Victorian Heights

Crystal Falls

906-874-1000

*Activities director out on leave. Call the home for additional information.

SENIOR CENTERS

Note: All centers ask for 24-hour advanced reservations for lunch. If you have meals delivered and will not be home, notify the center.

Alpha-Mastodon Center

906-875-3315

Meal noon every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Lunch at noon.

Bingo on Tuesdays.

Free meal drawing on Thursdays.

Breen Center

906-774-5110

Meals Monday through Friday.

Pasty sale every third Saturday of the month.

Cards and games available 9 a.m. to noon and 1 to 2 p.m.

Hostess on duty Monday through Friday.

Treats and coffee, 8:30 to 11:30 a.m.

Center retail store is open 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Monday through Friday; volunteers and donations are welcome.

Birthdays acknowledged every day.

Evening meals are on the first and third Thursday of the month. Salad bar opens at 4 p.m., with dinner at 5 p.m. Donations are $4 for those 60 and older and $5 for 60 and younger.

Blood pressure and blood sugar testing every fourth Wednesday.

Crystal Falls Center

Head Cook, Tracy West

906-875-6709

Meals will be served on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 5 p.m., with the salad bar opening at 4:30 p.m. The dinner donation is $5 for those age 60 and older and $6 for those younger than 60. There is a $1 charge for take-out containers. All are invited.

Cribbage will be played at 1 p.m. Wednesdays and be concluded in time for dinner.

The center is closed Thursday through Sunday.

Monday: Soup, salad, rigatoni meatballs, and homemade dessert.

Tuesday: Soup, salad, ham, cheesy potatoes, vegetables, and homemade dessert.

Wednesday: Soup, salad, cat fish, buttered noodles, broccoli, cauliflower, and homemade dessert.

A site council meeting takes place at 3 p.m. on the third Wednesday of the month.

A blood pressure reading can be taken by request at any time while the center is open.

The center is closed on weekends.

Crystal Lake Center

906-774-5888

The Dickinson-Iron Community Services Agency will offer lunch to the public at the Iron Mountain Senior Center each Wednesday in March between 11:45 a.m. and 12:45 p.m. Anyone older than 60, suggested donation is $4. For those younger than 60, the meal is $5.

Monday: Woodcarvers, 10 a.m.; mahjong in dining hall, noon; Les Artistes Art Club, noon; Bridge Club, 12:15 p.m.

Tuesday and Thursday: Pinochle, 12:30 p.m.

Tuesday, Thursday and Friday: Billiards, 9:30 a.m.

Wednesday: Spinning Spools Quilters Guild, 1 p.m., crafters, scrap bookers and others also welcome; knitting and crocheting class, 1 to 3 p.m.

Friday: Smear, 12:30 p.m.

Last Saturday of the month: Music jam starting at 1 p.m. Admission is free.

Dances take place from 7 to 10 p.m. on the second and fourth Fridays of the month. Admission is $6; coffee is free.

The Photo Club meets 1 to 3 p.m. on the first Tuesday of the month.

Evening meals are usually on the second and fourth Tuesday of the month. Salad bar opens at 4 p.m., with the meal served at 4:30 p.m. A donation of $4 is accepted for seniors age 60 and older but not required.

Home-delivered meals are for seniors 60 and older can be delivered seven days a week. Suggested donation is $4 per meal. For information, call Chris Tramotin at 906-774-2256, ext. 235.

Transportation is available from 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Monday through Friday. Call the center to book a ride.

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Meals served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Wednesday.

Bingo after lunch on the first and third Wednesday of each month.

A congregate jigsaw puzzle is done daily.

Aging and Disability Resource Center of Florence County

715-528-4890

Director: Tiffany White

Suggested donation for seniors older than 60 is $4 per meal. Residents younger than 60 must pay $7. Reservations and cancellations needed 48 hours in advance.

The ADRC can assist area seniors and those with disabilities with transportation Monday through Friday. Transportation reservation should be made with meal reservation.

Four senior dining locations are listed below:

Fence Center/Town Hall

715-336-2980

Meal at noon Wednesdays only. Reservations are requested. Cribbage and cards are available.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

715-528-4261

Meal is served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday.

Jigsaw puzzles, cards, cribbage and board games are available. The coffee is always on as well.

Senior Dining Center-NWTC, Aurora

715-589-4491

Serving lunch at 11:30 am, Monday through Thursday

Tipler Town Hall

715-674-2320

Serving lunch at noon on the second Thursday of the month.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

715-589-4491

Meal is served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Thursday. Jigsaw puzzles, cribbage, cards and board games are available. The coffee is always on as well.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Pam Haluska

906-498-7735

Meal is at noon Monday through Friday. Suggested donation is $3 for age 60 and older and $7 for those younger than 60.

Morning coffee is available daily.

Fifteen games of “fun bingo” are played each Tuesday and Friday, along with a 50/50 drawing.

Tuesday: Bingo, 12:45 p.m.

Wednesday: Cards played in the afternoon. Call ahead to see if a game will be going on.

Friday: Bingo, 12:45 p.m.

Monday through Friday: Walking in the gym, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. A treadmill also is available.

Friendly interaction with other crafters.

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Meals served 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday; a $4 donation is encouraged from those 60 and older, and a $5 payment is required from those younger than 60.

Thursday meal, 4 p.m. salad bar, with dinner at 4:30 p.m.

DICSA operates all meals and transportation out of the Iron River Center. Rides are $2.50 donation for age 60 and older, and $3 required for younger than 60. Call 906-265-6134 to schedule a ride

Niagara Northwoods Senior Cafe and Center

Corrie Maule, meal site manager, 715-251-1603

Jill Anderson, senior center director, 715-251- 4154

Noon meals served Monday through Thursday.

Transportation to the meal site from the Niagara, Wis., area is offered.

They welcome any senior groups that would like to use the meal site as a meeting place — join them for lunch and then stay for a meeting or social time.

Wii games, cards, puzzles and board games are available to play.

Other activities are in the works — suggestions are always welcome.

Those who have not been at the meal site/senior center are invited to give it a try. Those who haven’t been here in a while are encouraged to come back.

Norway Center

Director: Susie Slining

906-563-8716

Monday through Thursday: Meals served at noon, with salad bar. Soup also is available at 11 a.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Milk, juice, bread, fruit, tea, and coffee served daily. Meal donation is $5. Reservation for the meal should be made in advance.

Two special-themed meals take place each month, with bingo, prizes and a 50/50 drawing.

Two evening meals offered at 5 p.m. on the first Monday and third Wednesday of the month, with bingo, prizes and a 50/50.

If Norway-Vulcan are schools are closed due to snow days, so is the senior center. If the schools are on a two-hour delay, the center remains open.

Cards are played daily after the noon meal.

Craft and exercise classes: Mondays and Thursdays.

Ceramic and art classes: Wednesdays.

Puzzles always in the works.

A senior coloring class meets daily. All are welcome. Some materials will be provided.

Telephone reassurance is available for any senior who doesn’t get out much and would like a friendly daily phone check to see that all is well.

Monday — Center board meeting at 10 a.m.;

Tuesday — Noon meal with Irish beef stew, boiled potatoes, fired cabbage, soup and salad bar, and dessert. Bingo and prizes also 50/50. Sign up early.

Thursday — Noon meal, birthday club, with cheese raviolis.

Note: A CSFP food card (green card) is available to income-eligible seniors. Make an appointment to get signed up. File of Life packets available at the center.

Note: Ask about the Medicare Savings Program. This program helps people pay their Medicare part B premium. You may be eligible. The local MMAP counselor can be reached at 1-800-803-7174, or dial 211.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Meals: Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, 11:45 a.m.

Cards: Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday.

Commodities every other month and quarterly commodities are every three months.

A puzzle table is available to enjoy.

Volunteers are always welcome.

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