This past April was my most recent visit to my family in northern Italy.

During that time, as I was attending one of the many family gatherings and meals, I felt extremely moved. By that, I mean they noticed how quiet I had become and asked me why. I proceeded to explain to them that at that moment I was inspired to write an article about my observations on our family time together.

The evening together began with meeting various relatives. However, at times the conversations (and because of the language barrier, much attempted conversations), ensued with a mixture of partially spoken Italian, gestures, and partially spoken English along with family interpreters who were there to translate the conversations. It was laced with introductions, laughter, and yes, sadness for the loss of loved ones, not only my recently deceased mother, but husbands and cousins as well.

So, it goes for most of us here, when we first see our relatives, especially after a few years of separations; we have a lot of catching up to do with family. As amazing as technology such as Skype is, it doesn’t compare with meeting others face to face.

As for the Italian meals, they were usually five-course meals that took between two to three hours to enjoy. Throughout that time, the conversation continued on a variety of topics. This is in contrast to our country, where meals are usually around an hour in duration at best.

As the evening progressed, it transformed into discussions of past family members and their stories. How this occurred is when I brought out copies of photographs from my mother’s and grandmother’s photo albums along with a genealogy chart. It is noteworthy that throughout the evening, there were no cell phones in use.

Another important element in these Italian family gatherings was music. After one of the dinners at the hotel, we had the honor of witnessing a performance by an a cappella group of four male singers. It was a wonderful mini-concert. I was simply amazed at the beautiful songs, and that my family joined in singing along with them. I couldn’t understand the lyrics, but I could feel the emotions and energy of the songs and I found it so inspiring.

At other family gatherings, children would display their musical talents by performing for all of us. I noticed again that the cell phones and other handheld devices were not in use, either by the children or the adults. Everyone was focused on sharing time together.

To sum it all up, here are some possible suggestions you may wish to include during your family gatherings: Extend the time spent together at meals, bring old photos of family members to spur discussion, include music or musical performances, and ban the use of cell phones or other electronic devices. Hopefully, these suggestions will trigger new ideas on how to make the most out of family meals.

Dan Paul is a retired school administrator. His monthly columns explore family and professional relationships. Archived articles may be accessed at meaningfuldifferences.net.