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Event put focus on domestic violence

Tuesday, a procession wound its way from the Dickinson County sheriff’s office through Iron Mountain.

The honking horns and blaring sirens from the line of vehicles at first glance almost seemed like a parade or an escort for a high school state championship win.

But the grim message behind the event becomes all too clear at First Covenant Church at 125 E. H St., where crosses cover the lawn in memory of those who lost their lives at the hands of a spouse, a partner or someone with whom they had a relationship.

This annual “Break the Silence, End the Violence” demonstration, which ended at the Caring House shelter, was part of marking Domestic Violence Awareness Month, observed in October since 1981 when the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence had its first Day of Unity.

According to the National Domestic Violence Fact Sheet, nearly 1 in 4 women in the United States reports experiencing violence by a current or former spouse or boyfriend at some point in her life.

Women who have experienced domestic violence are 80 percent more likely to have a stroke, 70 percent more likely to have heart disease, 60 percent more likely to have asthma and 70 percent more likely to drink heavily than women who have not experienced intimate partner violence.

Friends, family members and associates can help in such situations by knowing the signs that someone is involved in an abusive relationship. Those signs include:

— Isolation: Not going out with friends, not taking phone calls when at home or not wanting to talk about things;

— Control: Not being allowed to have access to or needing to get permission from a partner to spend money;

— Insults: Their partner puts them down or humiliates them in front of others, putting themselves down or defending partner’s bad behavior;

— Changes in behavior: Getting more injuries than normal with explanations that don’t make sense, being anxious about being late getting home.

How can you help if you suspect abuse? The Michigan State University Extension recommended:

— Listen without judgment. Focus on providing support and asking questions. Although it may seem to you that they should just leave, leaving is not always simple and the process of leaving a violent relationship has its dangers.

— Become familiar with local resources. Find out about the local services – phone numbers, places and websites. Be able to refer your friend to an expert that can help identify their options and develop a safety plan. Offer to go with them to talk to someone.

— Remember leaving or letting go is not always the best immediate remedy. It can take an average of five to seven times for a victim of domestic violence to leave the relationship. Some may never leave. Even if you are frustrated because you care, remember that your friend or family member needs to know you are still there for them. Pulling away from them will only make them feel more isolated and less likely to leave.

— Focus on what they want, not what you would do if it were you. Ask your friend what she or he wants to do. Listen to him or her talk about his or her needs, frustrations and fears. Just asking for help or reaching out is a big step.

Help is available in the Iron Mountain area through the Caring House, 1305 S. Prospect Ave., which has a 24-hour crisis line at 906-774-1112, a sexual assault line at 906-774-5524, a toll-free line at 800-392-7839, and a business line at 906-774-1337. Services are available both in English and Spanish. And while business hours for the center are 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday, the shelter is available 24 hours and seven days a week.

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