NIAGARA, Wis. — My husband and I began our marriage with a plan indicative of our ages; he was 21 and I was 20. He would finish college in Green Bay while we lived near his parents in Neenah — that would take one and one-half years. Then we would move back to Ripon, Wis., so I could finish college — another one and one-half years. Then we would both get jobs, live on one income and bank the other so in two years we would have a down payment on a house. There it was — our life mapped out, and we would be living on “Easy Street” in five years. We seriously believed that was entirely possible. Thank goodness for the naivete of youth!

When Gail Sheehy labelled this phase of life the “tumultuous twenties,” she knew what she was talking about. Inside of eight years, we had finished college, had many survival jobs while doing so, moved six times, tried three teaching jobs, had two children and bought an older home that needed a lot of work. This was also what Roy H. Williams called the “survival phase” of life in which “we are just trying to make ends meet. We have to keep gas in the car, food in the pantry, a roof over our heads, and ‘Oh God, is that insurance premium due again?'”

Our oldest son, who was 6 and starting first grade in Niagara, asked us where his hometown was. We looked at each other and realized we needed to stop moving and searching for the perfect town that would give us the perfect job so we could start our perfect life on Easy Street. After all, we reasoned, our parents had not given us a lot of material wealth, but they had given us roots in stable homes within cities we each could name as our home town. So, we stayed — in the same house, in the same city. We made the best of it come what may, and our kids can call Niagara their home town.

Roy H. Williams labelled the next phase of life the “acquisition phase.” He says, “If we are lucky, we later move into that time of life in which we acquire more money, a nicer home, a better car, and take actual vacations.” I think most of us can look back and remember when that phase began. For my husband and me, it came long after the realization that our Plan A for life on Easy Street was not going to happen the way we had envisioned. We had to first realize we needed a Plan B and then work to execute it. And we also soon learned that we needed to be resilient. Life is rarely linear; it has a way of throwing you curves, and you need to be constantly redrawing the map and finding a new way around the next unexpected obstacle.

For most of us, this phase is also the busiest. We have to learn to juggle work life and home life. We need a balance between time with kids, time with spouse and time with self. And that balancing act is very challenging indeed. We learn little time saving tricks along the way and become the queen or king of multi-tasking, use our lunch break to run errands, make lists, follow schedules. And all the while, we hope we are doing justice to our employer, being a good spouse and giving our kids everything they need.

The years fly by, kids grow up, and there is a lull in which we rediscover each other. The schedule is not quite as full, the task list not quite as long, and we have time to pursue our own interests again. We may be still working, but it is less frenetic. If we have to work late, we work late and pick up a pizza on the way home — and even a bottle of wine. My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed this time of our lives. In some ways it mirrored our college years before we were married when we studied hard all week and played on the weekends. Now, we each worked hard at our jobs all week — me at the hospital and him in whatever city in which he was currently selling — and then we had fun all weekend. We used to say that we did not have the typical 20s and 30s, but our 40s and 50s were really sweet.

This brings us to the third phase of life Williams has dubbed the “distribution phase” in which we look for ways to share what we have accumulated — whether it be wisdom or wealth — throughout the acquisition years. He explains that emotionally healthy people want to leave the world a better place, a happier place, and we turn our attention toward what to do with what we have. My husband has always claimed that we either have time or money to share — rarely do we have both.

Once we retired, we now had time — money enough to meet our needs, but time enough to share with others. He turned his focus to Kiwanis and has given that organization his time and energy over the years volunteering for most of their initiatives and taking his turn in a variety of leadership positions. I turned to this column initially as a way to keep my brain active and to give me something to do that “fit” my background. I have been pleasantly surprised by the response from all of my readers as this column has found a place in their lives. And, as I have shared with you, I have been approached by young people looking to tap into “the wisdom of my years.”

We recently had an unexpected financial windfall. No, we did not win the lottery — after all, you have to buy a ticket first. Nor did we win big at the casino — remember that my mother had to give me a roll of quarters to get me to play the slots with her. Suffice to say that someone else in the distribution phase of life chose to make us a beneficiary of their generosity. For many who have had a far more lucrative acquisition phase in their lives, this gift would probably not have seemed that substantial. But for us, it came at a very good time and was most appreciated. And it was enough.

Recently at breakfast, which is now where my husband and I have most of our discussions, he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said, “Dare I say it? Dare I ask if we have found it? Have we finally found Easy Street?” We laughed so hard as we said together, “I guess so, and it only took 49 years!”

Yes, we were off by 44 years from our initial plan. But the important message in all of this, I think, is that the destination is not as important as the journey. That journey carries with it not only struggle, but the joys that come from working through the difficulties, adjusting to the curves and pot holes along the way and celebrating when a course correction yielded the hoped-for results. We can be proud of how we navigated all of the necessary detours.

Most important, we can appreciate where we are … all the while knowing it will not last. We know from experience that nothing in life is constant. As we continue to age, there will be other challenges and changes to which we must adapt. We are not finished with our course adjustments, but we have had years of experience in developing our navigational skills. And that is, after all, what keeps it interesting. Easy Street? No, it doesn’t exist. But we now know that is okay because the search for it, the striving for it, is what makes a life worth living.

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NURSING HOMES

The usual senior living activity calendars and senior center menus are not being published to avoid confusion. Due to the coronavirus and the vulnerability of the elderly population, daily life in the senior living facilities and senior centers has changed dramatically.

All living facilities have closed their doors to public visitation, and the activity calendars have been modified to allow for one-to-one room visits only and individualized activities to keep residents engaged and active as much as possible while remaining within the health and safety guidelines provided by state health experts.

Group games are being substituted with individualized activities residents can do in their respective rooms. Staff are providing supplies as well as “overhead announcement bingo and trivia” games and “hallway games” that can be played in individual rooms or by sitting within individual room doorways.

YouTube and DVDs are being utilized to provide religious services. A big dose of gratitude and appreciation goes out to all senior care staff for their creativity, caring and perseverance through a difficult situation.

All senior centers also have been closed to any center-based activity. Until they re-open, no information is being published that talks about activities typically available at these centers. While some have reopened with limited seating, meals do continue to be delivered.

Some centers also are preparing meals to be picked up. Menus are printed below for those centers who are either preparing takeout or providing home-delivered meals. Questions can be directed to the individual centers at the numbers listed below.

Alpha-Mastodon Center

906-875-3315

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

The Amasa Center is a curbside pick-up-only kitchen for now. Call ahead for Tuesdays through Thursdays. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Meatballs, mashed potatoes and California blend vegetables.

Wednesday: Sausage, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes, corn and tomatoes.

Thursday: Chicken cacciatore, noodles and garlic bread.

Breen Center

906-774-5110

Now open with limited seating from noon to 1 p.m. Monday through Thursday. Menu for the week —

Monday: Swedish meatballs, noodles and mixed vegetables.

Tuesday: Chili and a sandwich.

Wednesday: Liver or smoked sausage, roasted potatoes and peas.

Thursday: Barbecue pork sandwich, potato wedges and baked beans.

Crystal Falls Center

Head cook: Lucy Korhonen

906-875-6709

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-239-0278

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Smothered pork chop, mashed potatoes, peas and carrots.

Tuesday: Cheeseburger, potato wedges and baked beans.

Wednesday: Chicken cordon bleu casserole and California blend vegetables.

Thursday: Spaghetti with meatballs, corn and breadstick.

Friday: Baked fish, rice and green beans.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Now open with limited seating from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. Menu for the week —

Monday: Chicken-fried steak, green bean casserole and mashed potatoes.

Tuesday: Omelet, potatoes, sausage and fruit.

Wednesday: Chicken alfredo, peas and salad.

Aging and Disability Resource Center of Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Director: Tiffany White

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Beef noodle casserole, beets, dark green salad and fruit.

Tuesday: Chicken tortellini vegetable soup, egg salad sandwich, lettuce and tomato and tropical fruit.

Wednesday: Pork steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls and fruit.

Thursday: Oktoberfest — Bratwurst and sauerkraut on a bun, German potato salad, calico bean salad and German chocolate cake.

Friday: Crispy chicken, oven roasted sweet potatoes, corn, dark green salad and fruit cocktail with whipped cream.

Fence Center/Town Hall

715-336-2980

For meal reservations, call 855-528-2372

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-528-4261

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Tipler Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-674-2320

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

For meal reservations, call 715-589-4491

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Pam Haluska

906-498-7735

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Now open with limited seating 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. Home-delivered and/or takeout only on Thursdays. Menu for week —

Monday: Enchilada casserole, rice, Mexicorn, fruit and milk.

Tuesday: Chicken dumpling soup, lunch meat sandwich, fruit and milk.

Wednesday: Philly steak sandwich, spaghetti salad, fruit and milk.

Thursday: Stuffed shells, broccoli, garlic bread, fruit and milk.

Niagara Northwoods Senior Cafe and Center

Meal site manager: Corrie Maule, 715-251-1603

Senior center director: Jill Anderson, 715-251- 4154

Norway Center

Director: Susie Slining

906-563-8716

The center will remain closed; however, takeout meals will be prepared for pick up – those picking up must call ahead and wear a mask. Menu for the week —

Monday: Beef stroganoff, noodles, carrots, fruit, juice and dessert.

Tuesday: Salmon, sour cream and chive potato wedges, broccoli, fruit, juice and dessert.

Wednesday: Shepherd’s pie, mashed potatoes, mixed vegetables, fruit, juice and dessert.

Thursday: Mushroom and swiss chicken breast, mashed potatoes and gravy, fruit, juice and dessert.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Now open with limited seating from noon to 1 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Spaghetti, green beans and garlic bread.

Wednesday: Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes and carrots.

Thursday: Stir fry, rice and broccoli.