Suzanne Killian

At Christmas each year, I give my husband a page-a-day calendar. This year I gave him one with the theme of “dad jokes” — very appropriate for him. Each morning at breakfast we enjoy reading the joke for the day. One of them inspired this week’s column. It read as follows:

God created the dog and said, “Sit by your door and bark at anyone who comes by. For this, I’ll give you a lifespan of twenty years.” The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. Let’s do ten years instead.” God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people and make them laugh.I’ll give you thirty years.” The monkey said, “Thirty years? That’s too long. Let’s do twenty.” God created the cow and said, “Go into the field and work for the farmer. I’ll give you seventy years.” “Way too long for a hard life,” said the cow. “Let’s do thirty.” God created the human and said, “Eat, sleep, play, and enjoy your life. I’ll give you twenty years.” “Only twenty years?” said the human. “Give me my twenty, the forty from the cow, the ten from the monkey, and the ten from the dog. That makes eighty!” God agreed. This is why, for the first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years, we work to support ourselves. For the next 10 years, we entertain grandchildren. And for the last 10 years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Give this some thought. While the joke is certainly clever, there is a grain of truth in it as well. When we consider the path each of us has followed in our lives, we realize that it most definitely has been a journey with distinct passages from one stage to the next. Does everyone struggle in the beginning to figure out what they want out of life? Our parents and grandparents certainly seemed to “have it all together.” Can we expect the same as we age?

Back in 1974, Gail Sheehy wrote the book “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life” that became a landmark bestseller with over 4.5 million copies in print. While we had all been familiar with the stages of childhood development — from the “terrible twos,” to the drama of adolescence, to the attainment of independence — the various stages of adulthood had never before been studied or expressed. It was a real eye opener of a book that answered a lot of questions adults were having. Basically, Sheehy explained the “trying 20s,” the “deadline decade/midlife crisis,” and “renewal” that we were all experiencing but did not understand. She helped us to better cope with each phase of adult life and to realize we were not alone. Nor were we going crazy despite how we felt. We were as normal as our neighbor.

I read this book when I was exactly 35 years old and feeling unhinged. Nothing in my life seemed to be going right, and things that had made me happy in the past were no longer meaningful. I had a wonderful husband and two sons who were healthy and doing well in school. We owned our home and had put down roots. We were, for all intents and purposes, a pretty normal family. But I found myself in a job that had no future and was not even close to what I had envisioned for my life. I was also having a repetitive dream in which I spent the entire night climbing stairs from a dark, underground parking garage. When I got to the top of each flight, there was no exit door. After reading Sheehy’s book, I realized what was at the root of my problem and also learned I was normal. I took the steps necessary to find a different job; the dream stopped, and I finally felt professionally fulfilled. That new job turned into a 28-year career that took me through retirement. And my husband was really relieved that my feelings of unhappiness had not stemmed from anything he had done!

As the human lifespan increased, the developmental stages of Sheehy’s book no longer made complete sense. So, in 1995, she wrote the updated “New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time.” I have to confess that I have yet to thoroughly read it, but a quick scan showed me that there were more stages and three distinct passages into the later stages of a longer life. Stages included: tryout 20s, turbulent 30s, flourishing 40s, flaming 50s and serene 60s, with passages named: catch thirty, the age of mastery and the age of integrity.

Our 20s and early 30s can be so frustrating as we strive to graduate from school and then decide what we want to do with the rest of our life. What career will we have and where will we get our professional start? Will we marry and have a family? Will we ever be able to buy a home, and where will that home be located? During this period, we may change directions several times. Welcome to the “tryout 20s.”

We finally find our way through that early stage only to experience a restlessness we cannot explain. What’s that all about? We are settled, with a spouse we love and children we had planned. We have the career we had hoped and the respect of our peers. We can even afford a vacation every year. So why are we not bursting with happiness? We have entered the “turbulent 30s.” Somehow, we make our way through this period, and life makes sense again. Both our career and family are thriving. Welcome to the “flourishing 40s.”

Just as we thought we had life all figured out, the path gets bumpy once again. As we enter what Sheehy has termed the “flaming 50s,” we may experience another period of turbulence and uncertainty. And men and women experience different challenges during this period. Finally, we enter our serene 60s with many fulfilling and rewarding years ahead of us.

While these books were written many years ago, the wisdom they contain and the clarity they provide are timeless. If you find yourself in a troubling time of your life that you do not understand and cannot even explain, you may want to pick one up and give it a read. Our kids are not the only ones who grow through stages of development; we do as well. And, for that matter, none of us ever stops growing and changing.

The road through life is not completely paved for us. It has its fair share of rocks and ruts so can get bumpy at times. Then, for no apparent reason, it smooths out again for a while. Nor does that road have signposts that guide us away from the pitfalls. We just mosey along and unexpectedly find ourselves flat on our faces in a mud puddle or suddenly realize we have completely lost the path we had been following. How we get through these periods of confusion is an individual matter … but we do all move through them one way or another. As my mother always used to say, “This, too, shall pass.” And as I used to tell my boys, “You are each the captain of your own ship, so steer it the way you want it to go.” Either piece of advice you follow will get you through the rough spots and onto another, brighter path through your life. The key is to simply keep going.

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NURSING HOMES/SENIOR LIVING FACILITIES

Freeman Nursing and Rehabilitation Community

Kingsford

906-774-1530

The center welcomes anyone who would like to entertain our residents. Volunteers are also needed to help with crafts and other activities. A Memory Café – a fun hour to spend with others — takes place at 2 p.m. on the third Tuesday of every month. For more information, contact Jaime Hathaway at jlhathaway@protonmail.com. The program runs on donations.

Sunday: Catholic Mass on CW-TV, 10 a.m.; relax, coloring, 2 p.m.

Monday: Chair fun, 10 a.m.; trivia, 10:30 a.m.; horse race, 11 a.m.; dice club, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Nails/room visits, 10 a.m.; live action on YouTube, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Bible study, 10 a.m.; coffee talk, 10:30 a.m.; dining room crafts, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Roll it to play it, 10 a.m.; room crafts, 1:30 p.m.; bunny visits, 2 p.m.

Friday: Sing-along, 10 a.m.; trivia, 10:30 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Word search, 1 p.m.; family time, 2 p.m.; “Weakest Link” on PBS, 7 p.m.

Iron County Medical Care Facility

Crystal Falls

906-874-1501

Sunday: Room visits, 8:30 a.m.; puzzle time, 9:30 a.m.; chair exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 12:30 p.m.; bingorama, 2 p.m.

Monday: Crafts, 9:30 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; Sunshine Club, 2:30 p.m.; bonfire, 5:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Mystery ride, 9:30; Catholic Mass, 10 a.m.; book club, 10 a.m.; Dan’s songs for seniors, 2 p.m.; classic movie, 6 p.m.  

Wednesday: Coffee social/garden club, 9:30 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; getting pretty, 1:30 p.m.; men’s club, 2:30 p.m.; night bingo, 6:15 p.m. Thursday: Puzzler 9:30 a.m.; bowling, 10 a.m.; Bible study 1 p.m.; wildlife film, 1:30 p.m.; happy hour with music, 2:30 p.m.

Friday: Crafts, 9 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; garden club, 2 p.m.; comedy movie, 6 p.m.

Saturday: “Price Is Right”/Yahtzee, 10 a.m.; geri gym, 11 a.m.; room visits, 12:30 a.m.; social hour, 2 p.m.; classic movie, 6 p.m. 

Optalis Healthcare

Kingsford

906-774-4805

Sunday: Sunday devotional, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; movie or games,1 p.m.

Monday: Room visits, 8 a.m.; coffee time, 9:30; Coral Reef Awareness Week, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; movie or games, 5:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Room visits, 8 a.m.; coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; daily chronicles, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; fun in the sun, 1 to 3:30 p.m. 

Wednesday: Coffee time, 9 a.m.; Immaculate Conception Catholic Church, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; movie, 5:30 p.m.

Thursday: Room visits, 8 a.m.; coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; daily chronicles, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Flippo, 2 p.m.

Friday: Room visits, 8 a.m.; coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; daily chronicle, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Manicures, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; craft or game, 1 p.m.

Maryhill Manor Nursing Home

Niagara, Wis.

715-251-3172

Families are allowed to attend the home’s activities and encouraged to participate.

Sunday: Coffee social/resident choice games, 10 a.m.; delivery of communion, noon; prize bingo, 1:45 p.m.; church service, 2:30 p.m.

Monday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; pamper and polish, 10 a.m.; water fun in the courtyard, 2 p.m.; game night, 5:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; Protestant service, 10 a.m.; Pictionary, 10:15 a.m.; courtyard campfire, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; outdoor social, 10 a.m.; jokereno, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Rosary, 9 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 9:30 a.m.; silly crafters, 10 a.m.; courtyard cabana — freeze pops, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.; Music in the Park, 6:30 p.m.

Friday: Uno, 10 a.m.; pizza making, 1 p.m.; happy hour with Ray and Mindy, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Scrabble match, 10 a.m.; courtyard games — parachute, 2 p.m.

Northshore Healthcare

Florence, Wis.

715-528-4833

No information was available

Victorian Pines

Iron Mountain

906-774-5158

Sunday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1:30 p.m.

Monday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; trivia and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Saturday: Juice time, 10 a.m.

Pinecrest Medical Care Facility

Powers

906-497-5244

Sunday: Morning visits and reality orientation; bunco, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:15 a.m.; church services, 1:30 p.m.; ice cream social, 2:30 p.m.; daily chronicle, coloring pages.

Monday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; travelogue, 11 a.m.; manicure Monday,1:45 p.m.; Bible studies, 3 p.m.; book club, 4 p.m.; movie “You’ve Got Mail,” 6 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Tuesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; juice hour, 11 a.m.; who-what-where/bingo, 2 p.m.; bologna, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Wednesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; hangman/shopping trip to Dollar General, 11 a.m.; crafty Wednesday, 1:45 p.m.; Yahtzee, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Thursday: Morning visits and reality orientation; bingo/trivia, 10:30 a.m.; off to the races, 2 p.m.; table talk, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Friday: Morning visits and reality orientation; Catholic Mass,10:30 a.m.; pondering prompts, 11 a.m.; Vicky and Dave, 2 p.m.; book club, 4 p.m.; game night, 6 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Saturday:  Morning visits and reality orientation; exercise group,10 a.m.; Bible studies,11 a.m.; juice hour. 11 a.m.; bingo 1:45 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 3 p.m.; daily chronicles; activity packet.

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SENIOR CENTERS

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

Menu for the week –

Tuesday: Creamy spinach and sausage, pasta, broccoli, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Swedish meatballs, buttered noodles, mixed vegetables.

Thursday: Baked chicken, rice pilaf, candied carrots, apple crisp.

Breen Center

Kingsford

906-774-5110

Dine-in eating at the center Monday through Thursday, serving at noon. Carryout meals are available. Soup and salad bar open at 11:30 a.m. Menu for the week —

Monday: Brats, cowboy beans, corn, Jell-O.

Tuesday: Creamy spinach and sausage, pasta, broccoli, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Swedish meatballs, buttered noodles, mixed vegetables.

Thursday: Evening meal — salad bar at 3:30 p.m., meal at 4 p.m. of baked chicken, rice pilaf, candied carrots, apple crisp.

Crystal Falls Center

Head Cook: Elizabeth Peryam

Assistant Cooks: Debbie Bigalke and Shannon Stapleton

906-875-6709

The center serves meals for dine-in or takeout – call the center by 1 p.m. to make reservations or to place an order. All food is purchased from local vendors. All dinners include warm vegetables, salad bar, soup, homemade desserts, coffee, tea or milk. Salad bar begins at 4:30 p.m. and dinner is served at 5 p.m. Pickup for takeout meals is 4 p.m. – call ahead and leave a message with telephone number. A volunteer will deliver meals to homebound citizens only. Menu for the week –

Monday: Baked chicken, rice pilaf.

Tuesday: One hard shell and one soft shell taco, refried beans, Mexican rice.

Wednesday: Pork chops, mashed potatoes and gravy.

Home-delivered meals (prepared by DICSA – independent from above menu) —

Monday: Brats, cowboy beans, corn, Jell-O.

Tuesday: Creamy spinach and sausage, pasta, broccoli, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Swedish meatballs, buttered noodles, mixed vegetables.

Thursday: Baked chicken, rice pilaf, candied carrots, apple crisp.

Dickinson-Iron Community Services Agency

DICSA

Iron Mountain

906-774-2256, ext. 230 or 235.

This is a Meals on Wheels program only. Home-delivered meals only – call to make arrangements. Menu for the week —

Monday: Brats, cowboy beans, corn, Jell-O.

Tuesday: Creamy spinach and sausage, pasta, broccoli, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Swedish meatballs, buttered noodles, mixed vegetables.

Thursday: Baked chicken, rice pilaf, candied carrots, apple crisp.

Friday: Scalloped potatoes with ham, peas, biscuit.

All meals include a choice of skim milk, juice or no beverage.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-828-1776

Schedule for the week:

Monday: Les Artistes art club, noon to 3 p.m.; woodcarvers, starting at 9 a.m.

Tuesday: Cards — Pinochle and cribbage, noon to 4 p.m.; Happy Quilters, noon to 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Bingo, 1 to 3 p.m.; cards cost 25 cents, with 10 games played. 

Thursday: Spinning Spools quilting, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.; board games, 1 to 3 p.m.

Friday: Cards — Smear, noon to 4 p.m.; chess, noon.

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Head cook: Joan Wickman, 906-246-3559

Program president: Lisa Casey, 906-282-7899.

Salad bar opens at 11 a.m., with the meal at 11:30 a.m. and dessert to follow. Evening meal is served every third Wednesday of the month, with sponsored activities. Takeout meals are available. Delivery offered to homebound residents within Felch, West Branch and Breen townships.

Monday: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, vegetable.

Tuesday: Chef’s salad with ham and turkey, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Pizza — choice of sausage or pepperoni, salad.

Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC) of Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Menu for the week —

Monday: Turkey ranch wrap — turkey, lettuce, tomato, cheese in a spinach wrap; pasta salad; fruit.

Tuesday: Cook’s choice entrée, vegetable, fruit.

Wednesday: Christmas in July — smothered chicken breast, sweet potato casserole, Christmas broccoli salad, fruit, chocolate mint cream pie.

Thursday: Liver and onions or chicken breast, au gratin potatoes, green bean medley, fruit.

Friday: Fish tacos, coleslaw, baked beans, fruit, cookies.

Note: All meals served with whole grain bread, butter and milk.

Aurora-Hillcrest Dining Center

Serving Monday through Friday at 11:30 a.m. RSVP by calling 715-589-4491.

Florence Community Center

Serving Monday through Thursday at 11:30 a.m. RSVP by calling 715-528-4261.

Fence Town Hall

Serving at noon on Wednesdays only. RSVP by calling 715-589-4491.

Tipler Town Hall

Serving at noon on second Thursday only. RSVP by calling 715-528-4261.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Barb Peters

906-498-7735

Center is open 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday. Meals are served through the Menominee-Delta-Schoolcraft Community Action Agency in Escanaba. Meals-On-Wheels program is available for those who are homebound.

Monday: Sweet and sour meatballs, brown rice, peas, chef’s choice second vegetable, diced pears.

Tuesday: Stuffed shells with marinara sauce, Brussel sprouts, diced carrots, tropical fruit.

Wednesday: Meatloaf with ketchup glaze, mashed potatoes with gravy, mixed vegetables, applesauce, whole wheat bread.

Thursday: Chef’s salad, ranch pasta salad, pineapple/mango/oranges, whole wheat bread sticks.

Friday: Chicken-fried steak with gravy, boiled red potatoes, green beans, fruit cocktail, whole wheat bread.

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Open for dine-in eating. Salad bar at 11:30 a.m., meals served at noon. Carryout meals are available. Menu for the week –

Monday: Brats, cowboy beans, corn, Jell-O.

Tuesday: Creamy spinach and sausage, pasta, broccoli, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Swedish meatballs, buttered noodles, mixed vegetables.

Thursday: Evening meal — Baked chicken, rice pilaf, candied carrots, apple crisp. Salad bar at 3:30 p.m., meal at 4 p.m.

All meals are served with choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.

Niagara Senior Center/Café

715-251-1603

Meal served at noon Monday through Thursday. Reservations are required one day in advance. Suggested donation is $5 for those older than 60 and $11 for those age 60 or younger. Transportation to the meal site is available.

Tuesday: Turkey breast, mashed potatoes and gravy, mixed vegetables, wheat roll, fruit cocktail.

Wednesday: Pork chop, wild rice, broccoli, carrot-raisin-apple salad, pineapple.

Thursday: Sub sandwich on a bun with lettuce and tomato, fresh orange, chips.

Norway Center

Director: Alicia Rochon

906-563-8716

Open for dine-in eating. Salad bar available from 11 to 11:30 a.m. Takeout meals will remain available for pick-up from 11:15 to 11:30 a.m. Let staff know if planning to dine in or pick up. Menu for the week –

Monday: Liver or burger and onions, mashed potatoes and gravy, peas and carrots, apple sauce, pudding.

Tuesday: Barbecue pulled pork sandwich, fries, coleslaw, cookies.

Wednesday: Cheese ravioli, garlic bread, Brussel sprouts, pears.

Thursday: Chicken bacon Alfredo, garlic bread, broccoli, peaches.

Center activity schedule:

Mondays and Thursdays – Exercise at 10 a.m. and card bingo after the meal.

Monday through Thursday – Card game 101 from noon to 3 p.m.; call Joe at 906-563-5587 for information.

Tuesdays – Quilting and sewing.

Wednesdays – Ceramics and crocheting.

Last Monday of each month – Book club at 9 a.m.

Second Thursday of each month – Birthdays and bingo.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Salad bar opens at 11 a.m., meal is served at 11:30. No home delivery yet. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Gnocchi, Italian sausage, pasta, California blend vegetables, Italian bread, raspberry pie.

Wednesday: Cheeseburger, french fries, baked beans, pickles, fruit truffle.

Thursday: Calzones, pasta salad, fresh vegetables and dip, lemon bundt cake with blueberry glaze.