I have long kept a folder on my computer titled “Food for Thought,” into which I save a variety of inspirational type things that have “spoken” to me in some manner — things I have stumbled upon myself or that have been sent to me by others. I have been doing this for years and will refer to them from time to time. One poem in particular caught my attention long before I was able to make complete sense of it. Titled “The Layers” and written by Stanley Kunitz, I needed to live long enough to be able to relate to its message.

I read this poem again recently and was so moved by it that I had to do a little research on the man. Kunitz was of Russian, Jewish and Lithuanian heritage and was born in 1905 in Worcester, Massachusetts. He was a graduate of Harvard University — an English major — and began his career as a reporter for the Worcester Telegram. He later became an editor for several east coast-based publishing houses and then entered academia as a professor at a variety of colleges and universities out east. His poetry earned him great recognition — more than 10 volumes were published — and he was named Poet Laureate of the United States for one year. He lived for nearly 101 years. Until I came across this particular poem, I had never heard of him!

Kunitz opens with: “I have walked through many lives, some of them my own, and I am not who I was, though some principle of being abides, from which I struggle not to stray.” By the time we arrive to these later years of our lives, we have most certainly been influenced by many other people who have helped shape our personalities. That influence initially comes from family, then friends and eventually the family of our own that we raise. We meet bad bosses as well as good ones; some people we never want to see again and others we remember for the positive influences they have been for us. Each relationship, whether positive or not, helps us to grow and mature as well as to understand that there is a core to our being that will never change — nor should it. We either learn to embrace it or compensate for it.

In his second stanza, Kunitz writes: “When I look behind, as I am compelled to look before I can gather strength to proceed on my journey, I see milestones dwindling toward the horizon and the slow fires trailing from the abandoned camp-sites, over which scavenger angels wheel on heavy wings.” To me, this speaks of reminiscing. Memories can fuel us toward future journeys with the assurance that we have been through so many things and can certainly keep on keeping on. But memories can also be bittersweet when we realize that we probably will not be able to relive them. I have felt this many times when I remember all of the hikes my husband and I enjoyed and the two times we climbed Hogback Mountain in Marquette. I love the memory, but I feel the regret of knowing I will never again do that challenging climb or navigate those rugged trails. The views of lakes and treetops, once seen up close and personal, can now only exist in my mind.

The third verse deals with the loss of loved ones. Kunitz writes: “Oh, I have made myself a tribe out of my true affections, and my tribe is scattered! How shall the heart be reconciled to its feast of losses? In a rising wind, the manic dust of my friends, those who fell along the way, bitterly stings my face.” I consider myself fortunate that I have only lost my mother and a sister-in-law so far, but the longer I live, the more people I will lose along the way. There is no way around this. At this point in my life, I can only imagine the pain, but one day I will need to summon the courage to work my way through it. Given that the poet lived a century, he certainly had to manage loss in his life more than most.

In fact, his next stanza attests to that very fact as he says: “Yet I turn, I turn, exulting somewhat with my will in tack to go wherever I need to go, and every stone on the road precious to me.” This is a verse of hope and of joy amid the sorrow. Loss and grief happen to us all, and yet there emerges a will to continue through life — a life that now is even more appreciated because we have been made aware that it has an end. We begin to savor each day more completely. We notice more acutely how the days merge into night and how the seasons change.

When I was a kid, the time just dragged. I was so impatient and frivolously wished time away. I can still hear my mother saying, “Don’t wish your life away.” In my persistent desire for the future, I rarely appreciated the moment. Now, the months seem to fly by in the blink of an eye, and the seasons come and go as quickly. Sometimes I feel like the kid on a merry-go-round who sticks his foot out in an attempt to stop the spin.

Nearing the end of his poem, Kunitz states: “In my darkest night, when the moon was covered and I roamed through wreckage, a nimbus-clouded voice directed me – ‘Live in the layers, not on the litter.'” As we age, and the losses accumulate, we can find ourselves with many sleepless nights as we immerse ourselves in memories of time and people lost to us. And most likely there are regrets as we missed opportunities to make things right. He shares with us that in one of those moments, a voice came to him from out of a luminous cloud with sage advice: remember and grieve, but do not dwell there. It is important to reminisce, but in doing so, concentrate on the happiness life brought you — all the beautiful layers of existence you have experienced and shared with loved ones.

I equate the ability to “live in the layers” to experiencing a “moment of grace.” Years ago, the Rev. Pat of St. Anthony’s parish, talked about just such a moment. I will never forget mine. It was simple, yet so very profound. My husband and I were experiencing a particularly rough patch about 10 years into our marriage, and I had decided to take a walk after supper. It was a crisp, cool autumn evening, and I walked to the grotto at St. Anthony’s church. I prayed so hard that “things would be better” and asked that He send me a sign that they would because at that time, I needed to know. At that very moment, a shooting star fell from one side of the sky to the other! That was 39 years ago, and I remember it as though it happened yesterday.

Finally, Kunitz concludes “Though I lack the art to decipher it, no doubt the next chapter in my book of transformations is already written. I am not done with my changes.” Time goes on, winter turns to spring, we lose those we love yet we continue our life, and we change as we need to in order to survive. We do not know what is ahead, yet there is comfort to be had in trusting that it is already figured out for us and that it will be good.

I am hearing my grandmother’s words, “Whatever shall be, will be” and I continue to see that falling star.

——

NURSING HOMES

The usual senior living activity calendars and senior center menus will not be published this week in an effort to avoid confusion. Due to the coronavirus and the vulnerability of the elderly population, daily life in the senior living facilities and senior centers has changed dramatically.

All living facilities have closed their doors to public visitation, and the activity calendars have been modified to allow for one-to-one room visits only and individualized activities to keep residents engaged and active as much as possible while remaining within the health and safety guidelines provided by state health experts.

Group games are being substituted with individualized activities residents can do in their respective rooms. Staff are providing supplies as well as “overhead announcement bingo and trivia” games and “hallway games” that can be played in individual rooms or by sitting within individual room doorways.

YouTube and DVDs are being utilized to provide religious services. A big dose of gratitude and appreciation goes out to all senior care staff for their creativity, caring and perseverance through a difficult situation.

All senior centers have also been closed to any center-based activity. Until they re-open, no information is being published that talks about activities typically available at these centers. While some have reopened with limited seating, meals do continue to be delivered.

Some centers also are preparing meals to be picked up. Menus are printed below for those centers who are either preparing takeout or providing home delivered meals. Questions can be directed to the individual centers at the numbers all listed below.

SENIOR CENTERS

Alpha-Mastodon Center

906-875-3315

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

The Amasa Center is a curbside pick-up-only kitchen for now. Call ahead for Tuesdays through Thursdays.

Tuesday: Ham, potatoes, corn, salad

Wednesday: Sloppy Joes, baked beans, coleslaw

Thursday: Pork chops, potatoes, Brussel sprouts, corn relish

Breen Center

906-774-5110

Now open with limited seating from noon to 1 p.m. Monday through Thursday: Menu for the week —

Monday: Chicken stir fry

Tuesday: Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn

Wednesday: Pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans, biscuits

Thursday: Smoked sausage, fried potatoes, baked beans

Crystal Falls Center

Head cook: Lucy Korhonen

906-875-6709

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-239-0278

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Sweet and sour chicken, rice, Oriental blend vegetables

Tuesday: Egg bake, oatmeal, spiced applesauce

Wednesday: Scalloped potatoes with ham, corn, dinner roll

Thursday: Chicken ranch bake, noodles, peas

Friday: Ham and cheese sub, carrot salad, pudding

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Now open with limited seating from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. Menu for the week —

Monday: Sloppy Joes, macaroni and cheese, three bean salad

Tuesday: Pork roast, fried cabbage, mashed potatoes, side salad

Wednesday: Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, broccoli

Aging and Disability Resource Center of Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Director: Tiffany White

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Turkey ranch wrap, potato salad, cottage cheese, fruit

Tuesday: Lasagna roll-ups, cauliflower, spinach salad, garlic bread, fruit

Wednesday: Hot pork sandwiches, mashed potatoes, copper pennies, fruit

Thursday: Chop suey, rice, Oriental vegetables, fruit

Friday: Baked chicken, Mexican pasta salad, squash, fruit pie

Fence Center/Town Hall

715-336-2980

For meal reservations, call 855-528-2372

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-528-4261

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Tipler Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-674-2320

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

For meal reservations, call 715-589-4491

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Pam Haluska

906-498-7735

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Now open with limited seating 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. Home-delivered and/or takeout only on Thursdays. Menu for week —

Monday: Barbecue pork, potato wedges, cauliflower

Tuesday: Fish, macaroni and cheese, green beans

Wednesday: Turkey wrap, chips

Thursday: Lasagna, California vegetable blend, garlic bread

Niagara Northwoods Senior Cafe and Center

Meal site manager: Corrie Maule, 715-251-1603

Senior center director: Jill Anderson, 715-251- 4154

Norway Center

Director: Susie Slining

906-563-8716

The center will remain closed; however, takeout meals will be prepared for pick up – must call ahead and wear a mask when picking up. Menu for the week —

Monday: Baked chicken, baked potato, stewed tomatoes, dessert

Tuesday: Sloppy Joes, baked beans, seasonal fruit, ice cream

Wednesday: Liver or burger and onions, mashed potatoes and gravy, glazed carrots, dessert

Thursday: Country fried steak with gravy, biscuit, red potatoes, spinach, dessert

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Now open with limited seating from noon to 1 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots, pineapple

Wednesday: Barbecue chicken, potato wedges, corn, Mandarin oranges

Thursday: Lasagna, mixed vegetables, breadsticks, apricots