“I have reached that time of life when I find myself faced with my own mortality. This feeling of “nearing the end” or of “running out of time” has been ignited, I think, by a combination of both the times in which I am living as well as personal events marked by their accompanying feelings of grief and loss. It is a sobering realization that one’s life on this earth will indeed end one day and that there is a finite amount of time remaining to finish it properly. I find that I have a desire to complete my life well by leaving behind some kind of a legacy that will continue to be felt long after I have departed this earth.

Certainly, living in the “Age of COVID” has contributed to a knowledge of one’s own mortality. It seems lately that every news broadcast is filled with infection rates, mortality rates and our nation’s overriding inability to contain the virus. I have been diligent in following CDC guidelines and hope that anyone I come into contact with will be following the prescribed safeguards as well. Yet, I know that I remain, to a certain degree, at the mercy of others taking those necessary precautions; I do not like knowing that I am not entirely in control of my own health and longevity when faced with this invisible foe.

I lost my mother this past December; she died peacefully at the age of 92. I had about six months to adjust to the idea that her end of life was approaching and was helped through that process by her many wonderful caregivers at Maryhill Manor. Because of the virus, my siblings could not make it home for a funeral or even a graveside memorial. So, I handled all of the arrangements and then, in June, my husband and I met our oldest son and his family at the little countryside cemetery in Waukau, Wisconsin, where her ashes were to be interred. It was a very fitting final resting place for my mother. A farm girl at heart, she is now surrounded by some of the most beautiful corn fields in the state and rests under a massive pine tree. I read her eulogy, my husband read the twenty-third Psalm, and we all shared memories. It all felt very right and provided closure. I finally understood the words, “funerals are for the living.”

I recently returned from my brother’s home in Libertyville, Illinois, where I attended the funeral of my sister-in-law, Karen. She was only 64 and lost her 10-year battle with cancer; she and my youngest brother had been married for 43 years. Together they had worked hard, raised two daughters, built a beautiful home and were looking ahead to retirement. Now, my brother is facing a future that no longer includes the love of his life. Their youngest daughter wrote and read her mother’s eulogy at the funeral. Her words were filled with so much love and memories of all the little things her mother had done to remind her how special she was; Karen’s legacy was defined in those words.

Certainly, it is not unusual for those of us who have attained a certain age to realize that we are approaching life’s finish line. My husband and I have actually had conversations about what each of us will do if the other one “goes first.” We discuss how certain arrangements should be made while we still have all of our faculties and can make decent decisions. And we take heart knowing that both of our sons have married well, are building their careers and are raising good members of the next generation. So, we tell ourselves, “we must have done something right.”

I find myself wondering now, however, about legacy — that broader impact upon the world left behind by the life of a single person. We certainly remember people such as John F. Kennedy and his brother Bobbie, Martin Luther King, Jr. and more recently John Lewis, who all died in service to others; they all left a lasting impact upon the world that will be felt by future generations. Can any of us leave an impact that will be felt for generations? How will I be remembered by family and friends or even people I do not know well? Have I done anything so substantial that it would continue to help others after I am gone?

I recently came across an essay that I had tucked away for future reference titled, “The Daffodil Principle.” Basically, it told the story of a woman who was always too busy to visit her daughter and grandchildren and take a drive “to see the daffodils before they are over.” Finally, she keeps her promise to visit despite the unexpected rain. She became increasingly resistant to the idea of any additional travel from her daughter’s home as the rain worsened, but her daughter insisted, saying, “You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience.”

They soon arrived at a daffodil garden that was glorious beyond all imagining. It covered 5 acres of a mountain side. The flowers “looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns — great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.”

The gardener had posted a sign beside her home that read, “Answers to the questions I know you are asking: 50,000 bulbs, one at a time by one woman. Two hands, two feet and very little brain. Began in 1958.” I was struck by the fact that the gardener did not give her name but simply allowed her actions to define her. The woman finally understood the central idea behind “the daffodil principle.” It was, as she stated:

“This unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of indescribable magnificence, beauty and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden had taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things.”

A legacy can be built in small ways every day. Back in 1978, when we moved to our Niagara neighborhood, we were the young family on the block. The next three houses to the east were occupied by “elderly women” who were as old as I am now. To this day, my sons remember Vi Dodd, who gave “her kids” big, full-size candy bars every Halloween while giving the little snack-size bars to kids from outside the neighborhood. And they still hold a special place in their hearts for Elsie Zigman, who would stand on the front lawn of her house every year on the first day of school. As the neighborhood kids walked down our hill to the bus stop, she would give each of them a hug along with her best wishes for a good year. I still carry a special place in my heart for those women, who treated my kids so well and who understood that children make noise when they play … and little boys are likely to ride their Big Wheels right out into the street or strip down to nothing to run around the house on a hot summer day!

I remember the retirement tribute given to me by my youngest son. He knew I was struggling with just how much of my work would remain after I left. He pointed out to me that I was judging the value of my time based upon what was now in the hands of someone else rather than on the character I had built within myself and that would remain, as an example to others, long after I had left the office. He gave me what I needed in the moment to understand that part of me would remain in a job that I had enjoyed so thoroughly. And, in recognizing that himself, had also shown me that I had given him a legacy of a work ethic to carry on throughout his own life.

Finally, we learn from those who have come before us. And we teach others, in small ways each day, through both our words and our actions. A life lived while being true to our core principles will always leave a good and lasting legacy long after we are gone.

——

NURSING HOMES

The usual senior living activity calendars and senior center menus will not be published this week in an effort to avoid confusion. Due to the coronavirus and the vulnerability of the elderly population, daily life in the senior living facilities and senior centers has changed dramatically.

All living facilities have closed their doors to public visitation, and the activity calendars have been modified to allow for one-to-one room visits only and individualized activities to keep residents engaged and active as much as possible while remaining within the health and safety guidelines provided by state health experts.

Group games are being substituted with individualized activities residents can do in their respective rooms. Staff are providing supplies as well as “overhead announcement bingo and trivia” games and “hallway games” that can be played in individual rooms or by sitting within individual room doorways.

YouTube and DVDs are being utilized to provide religious services. A big dose of gratitude and appreciation goes out to all senior care staff for their creativity, caring and perseverance through a difficult situation.

All senior centers have also been closed to any center-based activity. Until they reopen, no information is being published that talks about activities typically available at these centers. While some have reopened with limited seating, meals do continue to be delivered.

Some centers also are preparing meals to be picked up. Menus are printed below for those centers who are either preparing takeout or providing home delivered meals. Questions can be directed to the individual centers at the numbers all listed below.

SENIOR CENTERS

Alpha-Mastodon Center

906-875-3315

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

The Amasa Center is a curbside pick-up-only kitchen for now. Call ahead for Tuesdays through Thursdays.

Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Beef stroganoff, noodles, broccoli, salad

Wednesday: Pork roast, mashed potatoes, beets, coleslaw

Thursday: Spaghetti, green beans, salad, garlic bread

Breen Center

906-774-5110

Now open with limited seating from noon to 1 p.m. Monday through Thursday: Menu for the week —

Monday: Baked chicken, baked potatoes, mixed vegetables

Tuesday: Sloppy Joe, potato wedges, baked beans

Wednesday: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, Brussel sprouts

Thursday: Eggs, potatoes, bacon or sausage, pancakes, biscuits and gravy

Crystal Falls Center

Head cook: Lucy Korhonen

906-875-6709

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-239-0278

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Smothered chicken, mashed potatoes, winter blend vegetables

Tuesday: Tuna casserole, peas, biscuit

Wednesday: Chicken quesadilla soup, cornbread, side salad

Thursday: Taco salad, sour cream, salsa, chips

Friday: Fish sticks, tater tots, mixed vegetables

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Now open with limited seating from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. Menu for the week —

Monday: Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots

Tuesday: Fish or Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, peas

Wednesday: Breakfast wrap, hash browns, applesauce

Aging and Disability Resource Center of Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Director: Tiffany White

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Liver and onions or chicken breast, mashed potatoes, broccoli, fruit

Tuesday: Cook’s choice of entrée, vegetable and fruit

Wednesday: Chicken in mushroom gravy, baked potatoes, stuffing, roasted Brussel sprouts, fruit

Thursday: Fish sandwich with lettuce and tomato, oven fries, baked beans, fruit, pineapple upside down cake

Friday: Cabbage roll casserole, carrots, fruit

Fence Center/Town Hall

715-336-2980

For meal reservations, call 855-528-2372

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-528-4261

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Tipler Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-674-2320

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

For meal reservations, call 715-589-4491

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Pam Haluska

906-498-7735

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Now open with limited seating 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. Home-delivered and/or takeout only on Thursdays. Menu for week —

Monday: Mushroom cheeseburger, seasoned fries, mixed vegetables

Tuesday: Tuna noodles casserole, peas and carrots, roll

Wednesday: Chef salad, cottage cheese

Thursday: Pork chops, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn

Niagara Northwoods Senior Cafe and Center

Meal site manager: Corrie Maule, 715-251-1603

Senior center director: Jill Anderson, 715-251-4154

Norway Center

Director: Susie Slining, 906-563-8716

The center will remain closed; however, takeout meals will be prepared for pick up – must call ahead and wear a mask when picking up. Menu for the week —

Monday: Finnish pancake, sausage, hash browns, strawberries, muffin

Tuesday: Chicken breast with Swiss cheese and mushrooms, mashed potatoes and gravy, squash, dessert

Wednesday: Noon meal – Fish patty, tater tots, peas and carrots, dessert; 5 p.m. meal – barbecue ribs dinner

Thursday: Polish sausage and sauerkraut, garden rice, Capri blend vegetables, dessert

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Now open with limited seating from noon to 1 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Meat loaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, apricots

Wednesday: Cheese omelet, hash browns, biscuits, apple slices

Thursday: Chicken casserole, noodles, peas, pears