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The importance of mental strength through difficult times

NIAGARA, Wis. — When I have my “down days,” I find myself wondering how our country will come through the challenging time in which we currently find ourselves. The last time I remember such division was in the late ’60s and early ’70s, and we were fighting the war in Vietnam … and fighting about the war at home and in our homes. I was a lot younger then and in so many ways blissfully oblivious to the newspaper headlines and TV news broadcasts. The selfishness of my youth was my shield. I was caught up in my own life — my goals, my dreams –and I retreated into my studies and planning my weekends with friends.

I have a broader view of the world now that I am older. Experience does that to us as we age. We recognize nuances of certain situations. We know and understand consequences of specific actions. We still see problems in black and white contrasts, but we also recognize the multiple shades of gray in between. Consequently, issues are not as simple, so clarity is hard to achieve. Trust is a more difficult commodity to come by. My life is no longer all about me; it includes my husband and his family, my children and grandchildren, and my friends and neighbors. And it includes humanity in general; we all occupy the same planet and must find a way to all live together in a world that has gotten so much smaller as I have aged.

It was in one of these down moments when an article hit by inbox from the website Verywell Mind. Written by Nick Ingalls, it summarized his interview with Amy Morin, a licensed therapist, college lecturer and writer who has spent a long time teaching others how to be mentally strong. Morin’s latest venture is a podcast, during which she interviews people from many walks of life to find out how they have harnessed their mental strength to overcome adversity and achieve both personal and professional success. I found the article both interesting and helpful as well as very fitting for the times in which we find ourselves.

Morin defines mental strength as being the key to reaching our greatest potential in life. It encompasses knowing how to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions and take productive action at those moments in our lives when we feel the least able to “get it all together.” Certainly, we can all agree that we are experiencing a unique moment in our collective history that is setting up all kinds of roadblocks to keeping ourselves mentally strong.

Morin cites the five components of mental strength as being confidence, resilience, perseverance, self-awareness and self-discipline. Confidence is key. It is not about thinking we will always succeed but more about believing that we will be OK even if we fail. Resilience helps us be the rubber ball that bounces back after encountering hard times. Perseverance is all about our ability to “keep on keeping on,” even when the situation looks and feels its darkest. Self-awareness allows us to see ourselves as we truly are and to understand the situation as it truly is. We need to know ourselves better than anyone else so we understand our strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs and habits — and how they all impact the quality of our life. Finally, self-discipline is essential. It keeps us out of trouble long enough for us to reach our goals by resisting the temptations of the moment and delaying gratification. It keeps us home on a Friday night instead of at our local pub enjoying a fish fry — or at least we choose take-out instead of going out. It reminds us to wear face masks when we go to the grocery store and to wash our hands for the 10th time in one day.

Morin acknowledges that it is difficult to build each of these mental muscles like you would build your body’s muscles, but stresses that it is critical to strengthen each one in order to be mentally strong overall. Obstacles to mental strength come into play when we equate mental strength with acting tough. We tend to believe that suppressing our emotions or pretending we do not feel pain means we are strong. True mental strength, however, requires vulnerability. We need to acknowledge that we do not have all of the answers and ask for help in our low moments. It is only in acknowledging that we feel lonely or deprived or angry that we can deal with those feelings in a healthy way. Pretending they do not exist does us no good at all; they only get buried waiting to rear their ugly heads at a later date.

Physical and mental strength are similar in their abilities to help us decrease the risks of larger, more complex, problems. Physical fitness does not guarantee that we will never have high cholesterol, but it minimizes the risk of other major health problems that occur when we are chronically out of shape. Similarly, when we give ourselves regular “mental tune-ups,” it helps to prevent a major meltdown or a chronic inability to cope with our daily life’s challenges.

Finally, Morin specifically addressed the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic. She explained that everyone shares in the overall disruption to our culture and our lifestyles but that individual challenging circumstances are different for each of us. It may make a great sound bite at the end of a news broadcast to hear, “We’re all in this together” or to acknowledge that “These are unprecedented times.” But when it comes to developing mental strength for ourselves, we need to recognize that it is mostly a solo activity. We are all individuals with different needs and varying degrees of difficulties in our lives. Certainly, a single mother with three kids at home who just lost her job due to COVID cutbacks will face many different challenges than the retiree who just lost a spouse and now faces an uncertain life alone. Each has to address their new reality by first learning how they are different as a result of that change. How have their needs changed? What skills do they now need to rely on to better face the future?

And it is most important to remember — and to believe — that a solution exists for every problem and that we are smart enough to find it and strong enough to implement it. Now is a good time to review our lives and remember past difficulties. We need to acknowledge that we have been through difficult times before and managed to pull through so we can do it again. It may sound trite in such dark times as these, but as the old adage says, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

Or, as my mother always used to say, “Yes, life is tough, but it beats the alternative.” And she would find her way through another day.

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NURSING HOMES

The usual senior living activity calendars and senior center menus are not being published to avoid confusion. Due to the coronavirus and the vulnerability of the elderly population, daily life in the senior living facilities and senior centers has changed dramatically.

All living facilities have closed their doors to public visitation, and the activity calendars have been modified to allow for one-to-one room visits only and individualized activities to keep residents engaged and active as much as possible while remaining within the health and safety guidelines provided by state health experts.

Group games are being substituted with individualized activities residents can do in their respective rooms. Staff are providing supplies as well as “overhead announcement bingo and trivia” games and “hallway games” that can be played in individual rooms or by sitting within individual room doorways.

YouTube and DVDs are being utilized to provide religious services. A big dose of gratitude and appreciation goes out to all senior care staff for their creativity, caring and perseverance through a difficult situation.

All senior centers also have been closed to any center-based activity. Until they re-open, no information is being published that talks about activities typically available at these centers. While some have reopened with limited seating, meals do continue to be delivered.

Some centers also are preparing meals to be picked up. Menus are printed below for those centers who are either preparing takeout or providing home-delivered meals. Questions can be directed to the individual centers at the numbers listed below.

Alpha-Mastodon Center

906-875-3315

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

The Amasa Center is a curbside pick-up-only kitchen for now. Call ahead for Tuesdays through Thursdays. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Ham, baked potatoes, carrots and coleslaw.

Wednesday: closed.

Thursday: Sloppy Joe, baked beans and salad.

Breen Center

906-774-5110

Now open with limited seating from noon to 1 p.m. Monday through Thursday. Menu for the week —

Monday: Chicken stir fry, rice and Oriental vegetable blend.

Tuesday: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy and corn.

Wednesday: Baked salmon, potato wedges and baked beans.

Thursday: Beef stew and cornbread.

Crystal Falls Center

Head cook: Lucy Korhonen

906-875-6709

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-239-0278

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Stuffed peppers, cauliflower, dinner roll and pudding.

Tuesday: Turkey, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole.

Wednesday: Cheese omelet, hash browns and spiced peaches.

Thursday: Chicken alfredo, noodles and Italian blend vegetables.

Friday: Turkey and cheese sandwich, coleslaw and chips.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Now open with limited seating from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. Menu for the week —

Monday: Goulash, garlic bread, broccoli and salad.

Tuesday: Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes and carrots.

Wednesday: Turkey stuffing wrap, chips and coleslaw.

Aging and Disability Resource Center of Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Director: Tiffany White

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Taco pasta salad, corn bread and fruited Jell-O

Tuesday: Closed.

Wednesday: Meat loaf, mashed potatoes, candied carrots, fruit and cranberry magic bars.

Thursday: Cheese ravioli with meat sauce, dark green salad, garlic bread and fruited Jell-O.

Friday: Chicken strips, baked beans, macaroni and cheese, beet salad and fruit.

Fence Center/Town Hall

715-336-2980

For meal reservations, call 855-528-2372

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-528-4261

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Tipler Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-674-2320

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

For meal reservations, call 715-589-4491

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Pam Haluska

906-498-7735

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Now open with limited seating 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. Home-delivered and/or takeout only on Thursdays. Menu for week —

Monday: Cheeseburger, mushrooms, seasoned fries, mixed vegetables, fruit and milk.

Tuesday: Tuna noodle casserole, peas and carrots, roll, fruit and milk.

Wednesday: Chef salad, cottage cheese, fruit and milk.

Thursday: Pork chops, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, fruit and milk.

Niagara Northwoods Senior Cafe and Center

Meal site manager: Corrie Maule, 715-251-1603

Senior center director: Jill Anderson, 715-251- 4154

Norway Center

Director: Susie Slining

906-563-8716

The center will remain closed; however, takeout meals will be prepared for pick up – those picking up must call ahead and wear a mask. Menu for the week —

Monday: Pizza burger, sour cream and chive potato wedges, mixed vegetables, fruit, juice and dessert.

Tuesday: Bourbon steak over noodles, carrots and onions, fruit, juice and dessert.

Wednesday: Liver or burger and onions, mashed potatoes and gravy, Brussel sprouts, fruit, juice and dessert.

Thursday: Pork chop suey, rice, Oriental vegetables, fruit, juice and dessert.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Now open with limited seating from noon to 1 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Baked chicken, twice-baked potatoes and corn.

Wednesday: Barbecue pulled pork, potato wedges and baked beans.

Thursday: Stuffed shells, peas and breadstick.

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