NIAGARA, Wis. — As we age, we begin to lose friends. Friendships that developed as a result of the various stages of our lives — the stay-at-home mom years or the Cub Scout years — may have disappeared along with that stage of our lives. We drift apart from some friends when we retire because the common bond that held us together — our job — no longer exists. Some we lose when they relocate to live closer to a son or daughter who will be able to look out for them in the final years of their lives. And others we lose at the time of death. Although it may not be easy to gain new friends later in life, it is important that we do.

I remember how easy it was to make friends in elementary school. I remember the various neighborhoods in which I lived; each one brought a different group of friends depending upon who lived nearby. I have fond memories of playing “Queen for A Day” on the front porch of a friend’s house. Popular in the 1950s, the program featured a group of women who each told their story of hardship and what they needed to make their lives easier. If they were selected by the panelists on the show, their wishes would be granted as they were crowned Queen for that day. My friends and I always had sad stories of our husbands being out of work, being unable to afford medical care for our sick child, and desperately needing a station wagon to transport our six children to school.

When I began sixth grade, all of the neighborhood elementary schools converged into a larger middle school, where we met kids from the other parts of our hometown. I met my two best friends during those years. While we no longer keep in touch on a regular basis, I know that we can pick up right where we left off whenever we get together for a high school reunion. We share memories of seeing Hitchcock’s movie “The Birds” and how, as we crossed the street for home after the movie ended, a bird flew overhead, cawing as it did so, and scared us half to death. By the time we arrived home on that chilly autumn night, running most of the way, my friend had an asthma attack and had to spend some time on the couch with her inhaler! That same friend was with me several years later on the night I met my husband. She was very upset with me when I began seeing him exclusively, as she lost her “wing man” at the teenage beer bars!

In the early years of our marriage, my husband and I both left our hometowns, along with their established friendships, and set out on the journey that eventually brought us to Niagara. While the people we met were certainly friendly, most of them were natives of the area and already had well established social circles. Eventually, through our jobs, church and the scouting and soccer years with our two young boys, we met people. And we were blessed with wonderful neighbors; in fact, our neighbors to the west have lived in their house for just one year longer than we have lived in ours. Kathy is a “farm girl” and a very successful gardener. My feeble attempts pale in comparison to her lovely flowers. Throughout the summer, I will find little “gifts” left on our deck steps; she grows the best tomatoes and cucumbers we have ever eaten!

An article written by Sherri Gordon titled, “How to Make Friends as an Adult” recently hit my inbox from the Verywell Mind website. It made some good points and outlined some tips worth sharing:

1. When making new friends as an adult, it is important to have the right mindset. Focus on being open and channel your inner elementary school self. Don’t overthink the process. Make a list of people you would like to get to know better and then take that first initiative by extending an invitation to meet for coffee… and see what happens.

2. Everyone is busy, so don’t just say, “We really should get together sometime.” Make the phone call, and get it on the calendar. One of my contacts from my working years called me awhile back and set up a lunch date. We both marked it on our calendars, and we have been getting together for lunch monthly ever since. In fact, her sister has joined us, too, and the three of us have a blast every time. I am closer to her now than I was when we were working and have discovered so many more things we have in common.

3. Accept invitations. Even if you are stressed and overscheduled, try hard to accept when someone invites you to do something. They are inviting you because they like you and want to get to know you better so make it happen whenever possible.

4. Try new things. Stepping out of your comfort zone will put you into contact with an entirely different group of people and offer many new opportunities for new friendships. In retirement, you have the time to pursue new interests so take that painting class or join that book club. You might not be the only one stepping out of your comfort zone, and that in itself will be a cause for bonding.

So where does one go to find potential friends at this stage of life? Here are some suggestions:

1. Reach out to neighbors. Many of us do not recognize the potential friend who lives right next door; we simply exchange the courtesy wave across the yard and then close our doors. But great friendships may be waiting development, so the next time you are both outside, don’t just wave. Strike up a conversation and see where it goes.

2. Reach out to former co-workers. Schedule a “4:05” like in the old days and see where it goes as you reminisce over a beer or catch up over lunch. After all, you no longer have to race back to work!

3. Join something you never had time for when you were working, whether it be the YMCA, a club centered around a particular interest or a sports team if you are still in good shape. Don’t overlook the local senior center. Eventually they will re-open in our area, and they are great places for seniors to get together over lunch or a card game.

4. Church is another great place to meet people. Whether you attend regularly or have not been to a service in years, it is a great place to meet people. It provides many opportunities for involvement in a variety of causes with people who already have their faith in common.

5. Volunteer. Have you always wanted to help out a favorite cause but never had the time? Now, in retirement, you have the time, so get involved — and meet people along the way as you work together to help others.

Finally, after you have established a few connections, it’s important to stay in contact. Like house plants, friendships need regular attention or they will die. Make sure you frequently reach out to your new friends and show an interest in the things that are important to them. A good friend doesn’t make the friendship all about their needs, but also takes an active interest in the other person.

There are many challenges to getting older. Being alone does not have to be one of them. Contact with other people is good for our physical, mental and emotional health. With a little effort, we can truly enjoy the gifts of these golden years by sharing the gift of ourself with friends.

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NURSING HOMES/

SENIOR LIVING FACILITIES

Freeman Nursing and Rehabilitation Community

906-774-1530

Freeman has resumed small group activities. Visitation is currently being allowed twice weekly with screening and COVID-19 testing required before entering the building. All precautions are still being taken to protect residents. Everyone has adjusted to this new normal, however, they are all looking forward to a great get-together when it is safe to do so.

Iron County Medical Care Facility

906-874-1501

Sunday: Morning room visits; exercise; puzzle time; afternoon room visits.

Monday: Morning room visits; bingo; afternoon matinee; afternoon room visits.

Tuesday: Morning room visits; bowling; trivia; afternoon room visits.

Wednesday: Morning room visits; bingo; travel film; afternoon room visits.

Thursday: Morning room visits; church with Pastor Vicky, Channel 99.1 at 10 a.m.; traveling happy hour; afternoon room visits.

Friday: Morning room visits; current events; monthly birthday celebration; afternoon room visits.

Saturday: Word game packet; morning room visits; Mandala coloring; afternoon room visits, United Lutheran Church on radio 99.5 at 4 p.m.

Manor Care

906-774-4805

Limited visitation has resumed for family and friends. Appointments must be made in advance by calling the center.

Maryhill Manor

715-251-3172

Scheduled visits are being allowed in the facility’s living room. Call ahead to reserve. The weekly happy hour and bingo have resumed for residents only.

Golden Living Center

Florence

715-528-4833

Visitation is allowed in designated areas only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Each visit is limited to 30 minutes and must be scheduled in advance. All visitors will be subject to health screening before entering the facility. Residents have resumed some small group activities.

Victorian Pines

906-774-5158

Limited visitation has resumed in resident apartments only.

Pinecrest Medical Care Facility

Powers

906-497-5244

Sunday: 10 a.m., room visits; 11 a.m., Catholic Mass, channel 66.1; 2 p.m., reminiscing.

Monday: 10:30 a.m., bus ride; 12:45 p.m., busy bee; 2 p.m., shopping; 3:30 p.m., shopping; 6 p.m., one-to-one visits.

Tuesday: 10 a.m., bingo; 12:30 p.m., busy bee; 1:45 p.m., bingo; 3:30 p.m., cards; 6 p.m., “Trouble” game.

Wednesday: 10:30 a.m., bus ride; 12:45 p.m., busy bee; 2:30 p.m., spa treatments; 3:30 p.m., manicures; 6 p.m., one-to-one visits.

Thursday: 10 a.m., bingo; 1:30 p.m., bingo; 3:30 p.m., cards; 6 p.m., one-to-one visits.

Friday: 10 a.m., bunco; 2 p.m., one-to-one visits; 3:30 p.m., games; 6 p.m., room visits.

SENIOR CENTERS

Alpha-Mastodon Center

906-875-3315

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

The Amasa Center is a curbside pick-up-only kitchen for now. Call ahead for Tuesdays through Thursdays. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Beef stroganoff, mixed vegetables and lettuce.

Wednesday: Spaghetti, green beans, lettuce and garlic bread.

Thursday: Pork roast, mashed potatoes, corn and coleslaw.

Note: All meals include milk, bread and butter, fruit and dessert.

Breen Center

906-774-5110

Call for home delivery or a to-go box. Menu for the week —

Monday: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy.

Tuesday: Cheeseburger, potatoes and baked beans.

Wednesday: Salmon, rice and asparagus.

Thursday: Liver or Polish sausage, parsley potatoes and California blend vegetables.

Friday: Regular Friday meals begin.

Note: All meals served with a choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.

Crystal Falls Center

Head cook: Lucy Korhonen

906-875-6709

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-239-0278

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Goulash, green beans and roll.

Tuesday: Cheese omelet, applesauce and sausage links.

Wednesday: Chicken broccoli soup, spinach salad, dressing and biscuit.

Thursday: Stuffed peppers, cauliflower, dinner roll and pudding.

Friday: Ham and cheese sandwich, pea salad, string cheese and chips.

Note: All meals include a choice of skim milk, juice, or no beverage.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Carry-out only — call ahead. Menu for the week —

Monday: Omelets, sausage and hash brown potatoes.

Tuesday: Ham, scalloped potatoes, salad and peas.

Wednesday: Beef stew, cornbread and green beans.

Note: All meals served with skim milk or juice.

Aging and Disability Resource Center of Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Director: Tiffany White

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Baked pumpkin oatmeal, sausage patty, warm fruit compote and orange juice.

Tuesday: Chicken and broccoli fettucine Alfredo, calico bean salad, corn and fruit.

Wednesday: Cabbage roll casserole, parsley potatoes, bean medley and applesauce spice cake.

Thursday: Liver and onions or chicken breast, au gratin potatoes, beets and fruit.

Friday: Breaded pork patty with gravy, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, roll and fruit.

Note: All meals served with whole grain bread and butter and milk.

Fence Center/Town Hall

715-336-2980

For meal reservations, call 855-528-2372

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-528-4261

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Tipler Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-674-2320

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

For meal reservations, call 715-589-4491

Same as ADRC menu, home-delivered only.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Pam Haluska

906-498-7735

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Home-delivered meals only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Cheeseburger, potato wedges, corn and fruit.

Tuesday: Tuna noodle casserole, carrots, roll and fruit.

Wednesday: Beef stew, side salad, bread and fruit.

Thursday: Cheese ravioli, winter blend vegetables, garlic bread and dessert.

All meals include 8-ounces skim milk or juice.

Norway Center

Director: Michelle DeSimone

906-563-8716

The center will remain closed; however, takeout meals will be prepared for pick up — those picking up must call ahead and wear a mask.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Bacon-wrapped pork chop, mashed potatoes and gravy and Brussel sprouts.

Tuesday: Spaghetti or polenta, breadstick and Italian blend vegetables.

Wednesday: Liver or burger and onions, mashed potatoes and gravy, peas and carrots.

Thursday: Polish sausage and sauerkraut, red potatoes and green beans.

All meals include milk, juice, fruit, bread and dessert.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Now open with limited seating from noon to 1 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Pasta with meat sauce, mixed vegetables, mixed fruit.

Wednesday: Chicken salad sandwich, chips, fresh vegetables with dip and apple slices.

Thursday: Hamburger casserole, broccoli and peaches.

All meals served with fruit and choice of skim milk or juice.