NIAGARA, Wis. — Last week I shared with you some stories from my years of playing in the band throughout junior high and high school and how participation in musical endeavors is a good preparation for life. This week I want to share my childhood experiences — as a first-born perfectionist — in art class. And I want to provide some guidelines on how to manage perfectionism if you find yourself, or a loved one, within its grasp.

Like many of you reading this column, part of the grade-school curriculum in our growing-up years was art class. I attended Roosevelt School back when kids went to the grade school closest to the neighborhood in which they lived. There were two sections of every grade level, and 30 kids filled the desks in each classroom; the baby boom was in full swing. One teacher taught us every subject at its appointed time, and we switched out our workbooks from underneath the tops of our desks. For art class, however, we left our main classroom and filed quietly through the halls and down the stairs to the larger art room where we sat in chairs behind very long tables so we could more easily spread out as we worked.

The art room was a pretty cool place filled with paints, crayons, colored pencils, huge sheets of paper and … clay. The day that fills this particular memory was the class in which we would all work with clay to make an ashtray… a household staple back in the 1950s. Our young, enthusiastic art teacher gave each of us a ball of clay and a small dish of water. She instructed us to shape the ball of clay into any kind of ashtray we wanted, to use our imaginations, and to use the water to smooth out any cracks in the clay. We had about 45 minutes before she would collect them and bake them in the kiln so that during our next class, we could paint them. They would be displayed in a school art show before we could take them home.

I really tried hard to make an ash tray that I felt would be presentable. But my perfectionism, already in full bloom, got in the way. Every time I stuck my thumb into that ball of clay, a large crack emerged. Well, of course it did! And every time that clay cracked, I spent more precious time smoothing it back into a very perfect ball — over and over again. After the allotted time had passed, every student had an ash tray of sorts that would be fired in the kiln — except for me. I had a very perfect ball completely free of any cracks. So that is what got baked, that is what I painted, and that is what was on display with my name next to it.

As the years went by, my perfectionism followed me through high school. I spent hours on my homework so I could turn in perfectly written compositions in ink without any mistakes. In college, I drove myself crazy studying long hours in the library. I met my husband the summer between freshman and sophomore years so at least on the weekends when he came to visit, I took a break from the serious business that was my college life. It followed me into my career; I rarely left work without a plan for the coming week and all of my projects organized in file folders down the left side of my desk. At home, my perfectionism showed itself in my ironing. I ironed everything from pillow cases to T-shirts and jeans.

Once our sons had left the house to begin their lives, my husband made it his mission to get me to put the iron and ironing board away. As I added more laundry fresh out of the dryer to my ironing pile, he would remove everything that didn’t need it and put things away on hangers. Suddenly, I had time to watch football games with him. Yes, his intervention over the years was definitely necessary as I worked my way out of the need to be perfect.

I did a little research on the topic of perfectionism and came across an article written by Arjan Schroeder, M.D., Ph.D. who is a psychiatrist with more than 13 years of experience treating patients with anxiety and depressive disorders. He explained there are two kinds of perfectionism: perfectionistic concerns, or PC; and perfectionistic strivings, or PS. Individuals with PC have doubts about their choices and actions, fear making mistakes, and worry about how others judge them. This type of perfectionism is debilitating and has most likely contributed to the phrase “analysis paralysis.” Being overly concerned about what others think and fearful of making a mistake leads to the complete inability to take any action at all. Individuals with PS set extremely high goals and are highly organized. This type of perfectionism can lead to more positive emotions, better health, and a reduced risk of burnout. But, as in anything, too much of a good thing leads to problems.

Schroeder theorizes that there is a “sweet spot” for healthy perfectionism that motivates rather than debilitates. The goal is to not have too much PS and to have little to no PC. He suggests the following five steps.

1. Determine which type of perfectionism you have. If you need approval from others before you take action in your own life, this is PC for which you will need help to alleviate. If you simply set high goals and expectations for your own satisfaction, this is PS and simply needs to be managed.

2. Be kind to yourself. Setting goals is good but if you fall short of meeting them, don’t beat yourself up over it. Life goes on, and you simply try again.

3. It is okay to be vulnerable to doubt and uncertainty. No one goes through life sure of every step taken along the way. Share your concerns with others, and you will learn you are not alone.

4. Setting goals is good, but make sure they are not so lofty as to be unattainable. And be sure to give yourself enough time to reach them.

5. Strive for a balanced lifestyle. The old adage, “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy” turns out to be true. After a stretch of hard work — whether mental or physical — allow yourself to do something fun that is unrelated to your work.

Consider the following insights on perfectionism.

“Everything is already perfect. And if you can accept that everything is already perfect, the imperfection is a part of the perfection. What’s to worry about?” — Alice Walker

“Imperfection inspires invention, imagination, creativity. It stimulates. The more I feel imperfect, the more I feel alive.” — Jhumpa Lahiri

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” — Anna Quindlen

“If everything was perfect, you would never learn, and you would never grow.” — Beyonce

Our world is an imperfect place. In fact, much of its beauty and mystery stem from its imperfection. I leave you to consider the following words of American author and educator Henry van Dyke: “Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.”

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NURSING HOMES/SENIOR LIVING FACILITIES

Freeman Nursing and Rehabilitation Community

Kingsford

906-774-1530

They welcome anyone who would like to entertain residents. Volunteers are also needed to help with crafts and other activities.

Sunday: Church on TV/resident self-activities, 10 a.m.

Monday: Dining room fun, 10 a.m.; dining music, 11:45 a.m.; card club, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Crafts, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:45 a.m.; finish tomorrow’s party preparations, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Decorating dining room, 10 a.m.; Mardi Gras-masked Valentine’s Day party, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Room visits, 10 a.m.; dining trivia, 11:45 a.m.; craft/art, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Spa hour, 10 a.m.; dining music, 11:45 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Resident choice/random kindness; color a nice picture, 1 p.m.; CNBC “Undercover Boss,” 7 p.m.

Iron County Medical Care Facility

Crystal Falls

906-874-1501

Sunday: Room visits, 9 a.m.; penny ante, 10 a.m.; chair exercise, 11 a.m.; Super Bowl tailgate gathering, 2 p.m.

Monday: Dress selection, 9:30 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; Sunshine Club, 2:30 p.m.; reminisce, 5:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Book club, 10 a.m.; resident council, 10:30 a.m.; getting pretty, 1:15 p.m.; wildlife film, 1:30 p.m.; men’s club, 2 p.m.; action movie, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Coffee social/party prep, 8 to 11 a.m.; Christ United, 10 a.m.; Sweetheart’s Ball, 2 p.m.; night bingo, 6 p.m.

Thursday: Puzzler, 9:30 a.m.; bowling, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1 p.m.; travel film, 1:30 p.m.; United Lutheran, 2 p.m.; happy hour, 2:30 p.m.

Friday: Crafts, 9:30 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; St, Vincent de Paul, 12:30 p.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; volleyball, 2 p.m.; musical movie, 6 p.m.

Saturday: Puzzler/trivia, 10 a.m.; geri-gym, 11 a.m.; social hour, 2 p.m.; comedy movie, 6 p.m.

Optalis Healthcare

(formerly Manor Care/ProMedica)

Kingsford

906-774-4805

Sunday: File and style, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Super Bowl games, 1 p.m.

Monday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; exercise, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Paczkis and coffee, 9 a.m.; resident council, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Mardi Gras party, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; Ash Wednesday, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Valentine craft, 2 p.m.

Thursday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; stretch it out, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; “Jeopardy,” 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Chips and chatter, 9 a.m.; reminiscing, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Devotional, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; string n’ bling, 1 p.m.

Maryhill Manor Nursing Home

Niagara, Wis.

715-251-3172

Sunday: Super Bowl trivia, 10 a.m.; delivery of communion, 12:30 p.m.; Super Bowl party, 2 p.m.; Super Bowl games begins, 5:30 p.m.

Monday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; pamper and polish, 10 a.m.; silly crafters, Valentines, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Morning mingle with paczkis, 10 a.m.; resident council followed by margarita party, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Rosary/communion, 9 a.m.; Protestant service, 10 a.m.; Valentine trivia, 10 a.m.; Valentine’s Day party, 2 p.m.; evening prayer, 3:30 p.m.

Thursday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 9:30 a.m.; Wisconsin trivia, 10 a.m.; cheese and sausage tasting, 2 p.m.

Friday: Men’s breakfast; morning mingle/spelling bee, 10 a.m.; C & R happy hour with Jim on the piano, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Scrabble, 10 a.m.; tattoos and wine, 2 p.m.

Northshore Healthcare

Florence, Wis.

715-528-4833

Sunday: Independent activities/Super Bowl.

Monday: Stained glass, 10 a.m.; puzzle, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Resident Council, 10 a.m.; manicure, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Chair yoga, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Thursday: Pastor Jason, 10 a.m.; group puzzle, 2 p.m.

Friday: Catholic communion, 9:30 a.m.; Pastor Cathy, 10 a.m.; happy hour, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Independent activities

Victorian Pines

Iron Mountain

906-774-5158

Sunday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1:30 p.m.

Monday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; trivia and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Saturday: Juice time, 10 a.m.

Pinecrest Medical

Care Facility

Powers

906-497-5244

Sunday: Morning visits and reality orientation; church services, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:15 a.m.; Super Bowl tailgate party, 2 p.m.

Monday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; bunco, 11 a.m.; Valentine cards, 2 p.m.; sensory, 4 p.m.

Tuesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; pancake party/come to the dining room in your pajamas, 8 a.m.; table talk, 11 a.m.; Mardi Gras bingo, 2 p.m.; social circle, 4 p.m.

Wednesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; spa time, 10 a.m.; Valentine’s Day party with Jerry Beauchamp, 2 p.m.; men’s group, 4 p.m.

Thursday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; Bob Kleiman, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; “Name That Tune,” 4 p.m.

Friday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; book mobile, 10:30 a.m.; who-what-where, 11 a.m.; off to the races, 2 p.m.; poker, 4 p.m.

Saturday: Morning visits and reality orientation; balloon toss, 10:15 a.m.; trivia, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; activity packets

SENIOR CENTERS

Alpha-Mastodon Center

906-875-3315

The center at 415 Main St. is open four days a week, serving soup and sandwich meal from noon to 1 p.m. Thursdays, fish fries from 4 to 7 p.m. Fridays, pizzas from 4 to 7 p.m. Saturdays and dinner from 2 to 3 p.m. Sundays.

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Lasagna, garlic bread, salad.

Wednesday: Roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, dinner roll, red velvet cake.

Thursday: Chicken dumpling soup, Texas toast grilled cheese sandwich, side salad.

Breen Center

Kingsford

906-774-5110

Open for dine-in eating Monday through Thursday, serving at noon. Friday and night meals are on hold indefinitely. Carryout meals are available. Soup and salad bar are also available. Menu for the week —

Monday: Chicken Alfredo over fettuccine, broccoli, dinner roll.

Tuesday: Sub sandwich, fries, pasta salad.

Wednesday: Meat ravioli with marinara sauce, Italian vegetables, garlic bread, red velvet cake.

Thursday: Roast beef, mashed potatoes with gravy, corn, dinner roll.

Note: All meals served with a choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.

Crystal Falls Center

Head Cook: Sterling Peryam

Assistant Cook: Bitsy Peryam

906-875-6709

The center is open on Mondays and is serving meals for dine-in or takeout — call the center by 1 p.m. to make reservations or place an order. All food is purchased from local vendors. All dinners include warm vegetables, salad bar, soup, homemade desserts, coffee, tea or milk. Salad bar begins at 4:30 p.m. and dinner is served at 5 p.m. Pickup for takeout meals is 4 p.m. — call ahead and leave a message with phone number. A volunteer will deliver meals to homebound citizens only.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Salisbury steak over mashed potatoes.

Tuesday: Taco casserole.

Wednesday: Baked chicken with rice pilaf.

Home-delivered meals (prepared by DICSA — independent from above menu) —

Monday: Pizza burger, seasoned potato wedges, sweet corn, fruit.

Tuesday: Sweet and sour chicken with fried rice, Oriental vegetables, fortune cookie.

Wednesday: German potato soup with sausage, side salad, dinner roll, red velvet cake.

Thursday: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, wax beans.

Dickinson-Iron Community Services Agency

DICSA

Iron Mountain

906-774-2256, ext. 230 or 235

This is a Meals on Wheels program only. Home-delivered meals only — call to make arrangements. Menu for the week —

Monday: Pizza burger, seasoned potato wedges, sweet corn, fruit.

Tuesday: Sweet and sour chicken with fried rice, Oriental vegetables, fortune cookie.

Wednesday: German potato soup with sausage, side salad, dinner roll, red velvet cake.

Thursday: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, wax beans.

Friday: Tuna salad sandwich, coleslaw, yogurt cup, string cheese.

Note: All meals include a choice of skim milk, juice, or no beverage.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256.

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-828-1776

Schedule for the week:

Monday: Les Artistes’ Art Club, noon to 4 p.m.; woodcarvers, starting at 9 a.m.

Tuesday: Cards, pinochle and cribbage, noon to 4 p.m.; Happy Quilters, noon to 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Bingo, 1 to 3 p.m.; cards cost 25 cents with 10 games played.

Thursday: Spinning Spools quilting, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Friday: Cards, smear, noon to 4 p.m.

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Open for dine-in eating — call for serving times. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —

Monday: Beef tips with noodles, squash, dinner roll.

Tuesday: Stuffed shells, California blend vegetables, garlic toast.

Wednesday: Smothered pork loin, mashed potatoes with gravy, broccoli, applesauce, red velvet cake.

Note: All meals served with skim milk or juice.

Home-delivered meals —

Monday: Pizza burger, seasoned potato wedges, sweet corn, fruit.

Tuesday: Sweet and sour chicken with fried rice, Oriental vegetables, fortune cookie.

Wednesday: German potato soup with sausage, side salad, dinner roll, red velvet cake.

Aging and Disability Resource Center

Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Director: Tiffany White

Menu for the week —

Monday: Sub sandwich with lettuce, tomato and onion, Italian bean soup, fruit.

Tuesday: Hamburger stroganoff over noodles, roasted Brussel sprouts, fruit.

Wednesday: Broccoli cheese soup, cornbread, dark green salad, fruit, Rice Krispie bars.

Thursday: Ravioli with meat sauce, dark green salad, garlic bread, fruit.

Friday: Soft shell tacos with lettuce, tomato and salsa, cottage cheese, broccoli salad, fruit.

Note: All meals served with whole grain bread, butter and milk.

Fence Center/Town Hall

715-336-2980

RSVP for meal at 855-528-2372

Same as ADRC menu, served at noon on Wednesday only.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

RSVP for meal at 715-528-4261

Same as ADRC menu, served at 11:30 a.m., Monday through Thursday.

Reservations for a meal onsite need to be made 48 hours in advance by calling the above number.

Tipler Town Hall

RSVP for meals at 715-674-2320

Same as ADRC menu, served at noon on second Thursday only.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

RSVP for meals at 715-589-4491

Same as ADRC menu, served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Barb Peters

906-498-7735

Center is open 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday. Meals are served through the Menominee-Delta-Schoolcraft

Community Action Agency in Escanaba. Meals-On-Wheels program is available for those who are homebound.

Monday: Western egg bake, red oven potatoes, muffin, banana, tomato juice.

Tuesday: Bourbon steak over rice, wax beans, green beans, pears.

Wednesday: Baked ham, sweet potatoes, Prince Charles vegetables, fruit, bread pudding.

Thursday: Chicken rice soup, egg salad sandwich, whole wheat bread, pea and cheese salad, fruit cup.

Friday: Vegetable lasagna, corn, scalloped peaches, garlic bread.

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Open for dine-in eating, serving at 11 a.m. Salad bar is available. No night meals at this time. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —

Monday: Scalloped potatoes with ham, Brussel sprouts, dinner roll.

Tuesday: Chili, cheese quesadilla, cheese sticks.

Wednesday: Chicken salad sandwich, seven-layer salad, chips, fresh fruit.

Thursday: Spaghetti with meat sauce, Italian blend vegetables, breadstick.

Niagara Senior Center/Cafe

715-251-1603

The center is open, and dinner is served at noon on Monday through Thursday. Reservations are required one day in advance. Suggested donation is $5 for those older than 60 and $11 for 60 and younger. Bingo played on most Wednesdays. Transportation is available.

Tuesday: Boiled dinner — ham, potatoes, carrots, cabbage — dinner roll, mixed fruit.

Wednesday: Spaghetti with meat sauce, mixed vegetable blend, garlic bread, Valentine dessert.

Thursday: Pork and sauerkraut, parsley buttered potatoes, carrots, pumpkin bars.

The center will have bingo on Tuesdays and Wednesdays this month.

Norway Center

Director: Joyce Olesky

Head Cook: Brian Gutkowski

906-563-8716

Open for dine-in eating beginning at 11:15 a.m. Salad bar is available from 10:30 to 11 a.m. Takeout meals will remain available for pick-up from 11 to 11:30 a.m. — let staff know if planning to dine in or picking up. Menu for the week —

Monday: Cabbage roll casserole, biscuit, vegetables.

Tuesday: Pork loin, baked potato, vegetables.

Wednesday: Salmon, sweet potato fries, vegetables.

Thursday: Swedish meatballs, egg noodles, gravy, vegetables.

All meals include milk, juice, fruit, bread and dessert.

Center activity schedule:

Mondays and Thursdays — Exercise at 10 a.m. and card bingo after the meal.

Monday through Thursday — Card game 101 from noon to 3 p.m. Call Joe at 906-563-5587 for information.

Tuesdays — Quilting and sewing.

Wednesdays — Ceramics and crocheting.

Last Monday of each month — Book club at 9 a.m.

Second Thursday of each month — Birthdays and bingo.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Open for dine-in eating — call for serving times. Carryout meals also available.

Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Creamy chicken noodles soup, grilled cheese sliders, Jell-O with fruit.

Wednesday: Meat ravioli with marinara sauce, broccoli, garlic bread, red velvet cake.

Thursday: Roast beef, mashed potatoes with gravy, corn, dinner roll.

All meals served with an option of milk, juice or no beverage.

Home-delivered meals —

Monday: Pizza burger, seasoned potato wedges, sweet corn, fruit

Tuesday: Sweet and sour chicken with fried rice, Oriental vegetables, fortune cookie.

Wednesday: German potato soup with sausage, side salad, dinner roll, red velvet cake.