NIAGARA, Wis. — My mother spent her final years at Maryhill Manor, dying at the age of 92 in 2019. Her physician had told me when it looked like her death would be imminent so I had time to notify siblings, and they came for their final visit with her. As I sat with her one day, I asked if she was afraid of dying. She simply answered, “I am afraid of losing people I love, but I am not afraid of my own death.” I was struck by the honest and matter-of-fact tone of her voice when she answered my question. She died peacefully in her sleep not too long after that conversation.

Norman Lear, writer of the award-winning television show “All in the Family,” and several other acclaimed TV comedies, died of heart failure on Dec. 5, 2023, at the age of 101. I was impressed by a comment he made in an interview shortly before he died. He simply stated, “It’s not the going I mind. But it’s the leaving that’s hard.” Lear had no knowledge of what was ahead of him in death so he was not fearful. But he knew how full his life had been so leaving it all behind was understandably difficult.

As we age, we come ever closer to our own exit from life’s stage, so today I want to spend a little time exploring the topic of our eventual death.

Years ago, I would have thought this was a strange and depressing topic to consider for a newspaper column. Why would any of us want to take time to contemplate something so far in the future? Death is morbid, after all. When I was younger, my response would have been, “I am too busy to think of the end when I am still trying to navigate through the present. And I am still looking forward to, and building toward, my future that I have not yet had the chance to figure out let alone enjoy.” But today as I am making my way through my 73rd year, I do not find the topic of death strange or depressing.

Psychologist Steve Taylor tells us that contemplating our eventual death or surviving an encounter with death can have a powerful positive effect. People who survive accidents, serious illness and other close brushes with mortality look at the world with new eyes. They no longer take life, and the people in their lives, for granted. They have a new ability to live in the present, with a new appreciation for small and simple things such as being in nature, looking at the sky and the stars, and spending time with family. They also have a wider sense of perspective so worries that had oppressed them before no longer seem important. And they become less materialistic and more altruistic. Their relationships become more intimate and authentic. And, in many cases, these effects do not disappear. Although they may become slightly less intense over time, they become established as permanent traits.

Sean Grover, L.C.S.W., counsels patients who are dealing with death. He states, “If ‘unknowns’ are the source of all anxiety, death is the mother of all unknowns. What happens after we die? Does our spirit continue? Is there a heaven waiting for us or another life with a new body, like exchanging one rental car for another? One of religion’s primary functions is to offer comfort about death, yet even those with strong faith may find death overwhelming.”

It should come as no surprise, then, that many people throughout history have had profound thoughts about death and dying. There is only so much time granted to each of us so the following quotations on this topic can help us make the most of life.

— “He who would teach men to die would, at the same time, teach them to live.” — Montaigne

— “Death is nature’s way of saying, ‘Your table is ready.'” — Robin Williams

— “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” — author J.K. Rowling

— “For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.” — Khalil Gibran

Several years ago, a friend of mine shared a verse by an unknown author with me. She had found it tucked away in her mother-in-law’s Bible. Because I enjoy nature as much as I do, the poem really spoke to me. I enlarged it, and my artistic sister provided graphics for it; I now have it framed, and it hangs in our home office above photos of people I have lost: my grandmother, my mother and my brother. I share it with you now in the hopes that it may bring as much comfort to you as it has to me.

“The life of a loved one does not end. It simply goes on. Its work is done here, only to take up its work in ‘the other room.’ We lived before, and we live after here. We are not summer flies that live but for a day. Nature teaches us this. The rotation of the trees in the woods, the succession of the seasons, the leaf that falls in the autumn turns into nurture for the new leaf of the spring.

“There is no end. It becomes easier to believe this when the other shore begins to be peopled by our loved ones. We can never feel for others until we have felt ourselves; we know not how to extend sympathy until it has been meted out to us. Life looks different after the light of a life dear to us has gone on. Beyond, not out, it has gone; and surely, if sometimes slowly, that truth comes home to us and enters our lives. The physical presence may be denied us, but the spiritual takes its place: strengthening, heartening, reviving and uplifting.

“Those who leave us are never far off. They are real and near to us. And often times when the heart is saddest, the load heaviest and the trial greatest, it is they who stretch out their hands to us and give us fresh courage that we wonder whence it came. It is only that with our eyes we can see not and with our ears we can hear not. One only needs to lose a good mother to know and learn this truth; to learn it so deeply and truly that no -ism or cult or creed can shake that belief. It is then that clarity of vision comes; when the eye sees clearly and the mind and heart and soul unite in but one fixed truth: that we go on. The western gates close only to let the eastern gates open.”

I wish you and your family and friends long and healthy lives. And as you lose loved ones, I wish you strength, peace and comfort.

——

NURSING HOMES/SENIOR LIVING FACILITIES

Freeman Nursing and Rehabilitation Community

Kingsford

906-774-1530

They welcome anyone who would like to entertain the residents. Volunteers are also needed to help with crafts and other activities.

At 2 p.m. on the third Tuesday of every month they host a Memory Cafe, which is a fun hour to spend with others. For more information, contact Jaime Hathaway at jlhathaway@protonmail.com. The program is run by donations.

Sunday: Church on TV, 10 a.m.; resident and staff ice cream social, 1:30 p.m.

Monday: Rosary, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; dice club, 2 p.m.; reminisce, 3 p.m.

Tuesday: Nail day, 10 a.m.; pool noodle hockey, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Movie hour, 10 a.m.; crafts,1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Resident council meeting, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 11 a.m.; crafts, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: National tongue twister fun, 10 a.m.; making cupcakes, 10:30 a.m.; Golden K bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Word search puzzle, 10 a.m.; family time, 2 p.m.; “Weakest Link” on PBS, 7 p.m.

Iron County Medical Care Facility

Crystal Falls

906-874-1501

Sunday: Room visits, 9 a.m.; volleyball, 9:30 a.m.; chair exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 12:30 p.m.; afternoon matinee with popcorn,1:30 p.m.

Monday: Crafts, 9:30 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; Sunshine Club, 2:30 p.m.; reminisce, 6 p.m.

Tuesday: Just friends, 9 a.m.; book club, 9:30 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; mystery ride, 1 p.m.; wildlife film, 1:30 p.m.; hangman, 2 p.m.; musical movie, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Coffee social/Catholic Mass, 10 a.m.; parachute, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; Dan’s songs for seniors, 2 p.m.; night bingo, 6 p.m.

Thursday: Puzzler, 9:30 a.m.; bowling, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1 p.m.; travel film, 1:30 p.m.; happy hour with Jim, 2 p.m.

Friday: Memory books, 9:30 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; throwaway bingo, 2 p.m.; romance movie, 6 p.m.

Saturday: “Price Is Right”/high rollers, 9:30 a.m.; geri-gym, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 12:30 p.m.; social hour, 2 p.m.; action movie, 6 p.m.

Optalis Healthcare

Kingsford

906-774-4805

Sunday: Devotional, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; games, 1 p.m.

Monday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; chair exercise, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Bob Larson, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; daily chronicle, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; shop op, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Our Redeemer Lutheran Church, 9 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Thursday: Resident council meeting, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Flip-o, 2 p.m.

Friday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; daily chronicle, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Manicures, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; games, 1 p.m.

Maryhill Manor Nursing Home

Niagara, Wis.

715-251-3172

Family members are allowed to attend activities and encouraged to join in.

Sunday: Hot cocoa and chat, 10 a.m.; delivery of communion, 12:30 p.m.; movie and popcorn, 1:30 p.m.; church service, 2:30 p.m.; Packers vs. Lions, 3:25 p.m.

Monday: Rosary and communion service, 9 a.m.; pamper and polish, 10 a.m.; “Family Feud,” 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Rosary and communion service, 9 a.m.; buzz words, 10 a.m.; music with Bob Larson, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; cider-making social, 10:15 a.m.; jokereno, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Rosary, 9 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 9:30 a.m.; mugs and muffins, 10 a.m.; All Souls cemetery visit, 1 p.m.; silly crafters, ornaments, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Friday: Hedbanz and cappuccino, 10 a.m.; C&R happy hour with Jim on the piano, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Uno, 10 a.m.; prize bingo, 2 p.m.; call a friend.

Northshore Healthcare

Florence, Wis.

715-528-4833

Sunday: Independent activities.

Monday: Music and memories, 10 a.m.; Yahtzee, 10:30 a.m.; bowling, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Social/hot chocolate and cookies, 10 a.m.; manicure, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Exercise/beach ball kick, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Thursday: Pastor Jason/Bible study, 10 a.m.; “What’s on the tray?” 10:30 a.m.; bean bag toss, 2 p.m.

Friday: Catholic communion, 10 a.m.; celebrating Veterans’ Day, 10 a.m.; Uno, 10:30 a.m.; movies, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Independent activities.

Victorian Pines

Iron Mountain

906-774-5158

Sunday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1:30 p.m.

Monday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; trivia and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Saturday: Juice time, 10 a.m.

Pinecrest Medical

Care Facility

Powers

906-497-5244

Sunday: Morning visits and reality orientation; Bunco, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:15 a.m.; church services, 1:30 p.m.; Sunday funday, 2:30 p.m.; coloring pages, daily chronicles.

Monday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; who-what-where, 11 a.m.; bowling, 1:45 p.m.; book club, 4 p.m.; movie night, 6 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Tuesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; juice hour, 11 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; feuding families, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles; shopping trip.

Wednesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; Philadelphia then and now, 11 a.m.; crafting, 2 p.m.; cards, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Thursday: Morning visits and reality orientation; early bird bingo and trivia, 10:30 a.m.; baking, 2 p.m.; table talk, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles, lunch outing.

Friday: Morning visits and reality orientation, Catholic Mass, 10:30 a.m.; “Jeopardy,” 11 a.m.; happy hour with Failte, 2 p.m.; book club, 4 p.m.; game night, 6 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Saturday: Morning visits and reality orientation, exercise group, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:15 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 3 p.m.; daily chronicles, activity packets.

SENIOR CENTERS

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Chicken and spaghetti, green beans, breadstick.

Wednesday: Deluxe hamburger, seasoned potato wedges, corn on the cob, pudding cup.

Thursday: Pepper steak with rice, green beans, dinner roll.

Breen Center

Kingsford

906-774-5110

Dine-in eating Monday through Thursday — salad bar at 11:30 a.m., meal at noon. Carryout meals are available. Soup and salad bar are also available. Friday and night meals are on hold indefinitely. Menu for the week —

Monday: Chicken and spaghetti, green beans, breadstick.

Tuesday: Boiled dinner, biscuit, applesauce.

Wednesday: Meat loaf, mashed potatoes with gravy, candied carrots.

Thursday: Beef ravioli with marinara sauce, Italian vegetables, garlic bread.

Note: All meals served with a choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.

Crystal Falls Center

Head cook: Elizabeth Peryam

Assistant cooks: Debbie Bigalke and Shannon Stapleton

906-875-6709

The center is serving meals for dine-in or takeout – call the center by 1 p.m. to make reservations or place an order. All food purchased from local vendors. All dinners include warm vegetables, salad bar, soup, homemade desserts, coffee, tea or milk. Salad bar begins at 4:30 p.m. and dinner is served at 5 p.m. Pickup for takeout meals is 4 p.m. – call ahead and leave a message with a phone number. A volunteer will deliver meals to homebound citizens only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Tuna noodle casserole,

Tuesday: Baked chicken with oven-browned potatoes,

Wednesday: Macaroni and cheese, meatloaf, dinner roll,

Home-delivered meals (prepared by DICSA — independent from above menu) —

Monday: Biscuits with sausage gravy, oven-roasted potatoes, spiced pears.

Tuesday: Tater tot casserole, candied carrots, Jell-O with fruit, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Chicken soft tacos, Spanish rice, corn.

Thursday: Garlic parmesan tilapia, mashed potatoes, steamed peas.

Dickinson-Iron Community Services Agency

DICSA

Iron Mountain

906-774-2256, ext. 230 or 235

This is a Meals on Wheels program only. Home-delivered meals only — call to make arrangements. Menu for the week —

Monday: Biscuits with sausage gravy, oven-roasted potatoes, spiced pears.

Tuesday: Tater tot casserole, candied carrots, Jell-O with fruit, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Chicken soft tacos, Spanish rice, corn.

Thursday: Garlic parmesan tilapia, mashed potatoes, steamed peas.

Friday: Pickle and bologna on a croissant, carrot salad, baked chips, chocolate pudding.

Note: All meals include a choice of skim milk, juice, or no beverage.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256.

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-828-1776

Schedule for the week:

Monday: Les Artistes art club, noon to 4 p.m.; woodcarvers, starting at 9 a.m.

Tuesday: Cards — Pinochle and cribbage, noon to 4 p.m.; Happy Quilters, noon to 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Bingo, 1 to 3 p.m.; cards cost 25 cents, with 10 games played.

Thursday: Spinning Spools quilting, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Friday: Cards — smear, noon to 4 p.m.

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Open for dine-in eating — call for serving times. Carryout meals also available.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Biscuits with sausage gravy, oven-roasted potatoes, spiced pears.

Tuesday: Spaghetti, meatballs, breadstick, vegetables.

Wednesday: Chicken soft tacos, Spanish rice, corn.

Note: All meals served with skim milk or juice.

Home-delivered meals —

Monday: Biscuits with sausage gravy, oven roasted potatoes, spiced pears.

Tuesday: Tater tot casserole, candied carrots, Jell-o with fruit, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Chicken soft tacos, Spanish rice, corn.

Aging and Disability Resource Center

Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Director: Tiffany White

Menu for the week —

Monday: Biscuits and gravy, buttered spinach, side salad, fruit.

Tuesday: Cook’s Choice.

Wednesday: “Deer Camp” pasties, cole slaw, fruit pie.

Thursday: Pizza casserole, spinach salad, biscuits, fruit.

Friday: Tater tot casserole with lettuce and tomato, cornbread, fruit.

Note: All meals served with whole grain bread, butter and milk.

Fence Center/Town Hall

715-336-2980

RSVP for meal at 855-528-2372

Same as ADRC menu, served at noon on Wednesday only.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

RSVP for meal at 715-528-4261

Closed Monday and Tuesday for general election; open Wednesday and Thursday serving at 11:30 a.m.

Reservations for a meal onsite need to be made 48 hours in advance by calling the above number.

Tipler Town Hall

RSVP for meals at 715-674-2320

Same as ADRC menu, served at noon on second Thursday only.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

RSVP for meals at 715-589-4491

Same as ADRC menu, served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Barb Peters

906-498-7735

Center is open 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday. Meals are served through the Menominee-Delta-Schoolcraft Community Action Agency in Escanaba. Meals-On-Wheels program is available for those who are homebound.

Monday: Salisbury steak, red smashed potatoes, green beans, tropical fruit, whole wheat bread.

Tuesday: Chicken Alfredo lasagna, Brussel sprouts, corn, warm peaches, breadstick.

Wednesday: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes with gravy, green beans, diced peaches, whole wheat bread.

Thursday: Turkey broccoli casserole with cheese, zucchini, diced pears.

Friday: Chili, baked potato, cornbread, cooked apples.

906-265-6134

Salad bar available at 11 a.m., meal at 11:30 a.m. No night meals. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —

Monday: Taco salad, fiesta corn, tortilla chips, salsa, sour cream.

Tuesday: Cheesy tuna casserole, steamed carrots, croissant.

Wednesday: Liver and onions, roasted garlic potatoes, broccoli, biscuit with butter.

Thursday: Shredded barbecue chicken on a bun, sweet potato fries, peas, apple crisp.

All meals are served with choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.

Niagara Senior Center/Cafe

715-251-1603

Dinner is served at noon Monday through Thursday. Reservations are required one day in advance. Suggested donation is $5 for those older than 60 and $11 for 60 and younger. Bingo played on most Wednesdays. Transportation is available.

Tuesday: Seasoned chicken breast, parsley buttered potatoes, broccoli, pineapple, wheat bread.

Wednesday: Salisbury steak with mushrooms and gravy, garlic mashed potatoes, carrots, five-bean salad, wheat bread.

Thursday: Veterans’ Day dinner — beef tips with gravy, mashed potatoes, corn, wheat bread, apple torte.

The center will have bingo on Tuesdays and Wednesdays this month.

Norway Center

Director: Joyce Olesky

906-563-8716

Dine-in eating begins at 11:15 a.m. Salad bar is available from 10:30 to 11 a.m. Takeout meals are available for pick-up from 11 to 11:30 a.m. Let staff know if planning to dine in or pick up.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Beef stroganoff, egg noodles, green beans.

Tuesday: Polish sausage, sauerkraut, red potatoes, peas.

Wednesday: Spaghetti with sausage, breadstick, wax beans.

Thursday: Pork loin, mashed potatoes with gravy, carrots.

All meals include milk, juice, fruit, bread and dessert.

Birthdays and bingo on second Thursday.

Center activity schedule:

Mondays and Thursdays — Exercise at 10 a.m. and card bingo after the meal.

Monday through Thursday — Card game 101 from noon to 3 p.m. Call Joe at 906-563-5587 for information.

Tuesdays — Quilting and sewing.

Wednesdays — Ceramics and crocheting.

Last Monday of each month — Book club at 9 a.m.

Second Thursday of each month — Birthdays and bingo.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Dine-in meals — salad bar opens at 11 a.m. and meal is served at 11:30 a.m. Carryout meals also available.

Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Deluxe hamburger, seasoned potato wedges, corn on the cob.

Wednesday: California cobb salad, egg salad on a slider bun, baked apples ala mode.

Thursday: Pepper steak, rice, green beans.

All meals served with an option of milk, juice or no beverage.

Home-delivered meals —

Monday: Biscuits with sausage gravy, oven roasted potatoes, spiced pears.

Tuesday: Tater tot casserole, candied carrots, Jell-O with fruit, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Chicken soft tacos, Spanish rice, corn.