NIAGARA, Wis. — In one of my recent trips to the grocery store, I encountered a situation between a mom and her two young children that sent me immediately back in time. As I watched the scene at the cash register play out, all I could think of was the day my 3-year-old son tested his will against mine in a similar situation. The outcomes were, however, quite different. I am not judging; we all know the challenges of parenting. I also wanted to pass along some tips for grandparents … and to end with a request to grocers everywhere.

First, the scene of the battle: the test of wills that generally occurs in front of that darn candy rack by the cash register. On this particular day, a busy mom was trying to get her groceries in the cart so she could herd her children back to the car and then home to where a host of other tasks were waiting for her. I knew she was holding her breath that they did not notice all that candy. But, of course, they saw it, and the battle began. Her son simply helped himself, and after pleading, got his way. Next, her daughter decided she wanted gum. Mom put her foot down at gum and told her to pick out something else. Her daughter decided on this day that she didn’t like candy so grudgingly left without anything. Of course, none of this happens quickly or quietly.

In that moment, I flashed back to when I was a very young mother living in my hometown while finishing college. I was doing the weekly grocery shopping at the local Piggly Wiggly while accompanied by my nearly 4-year-old young son. We had a rule that he could pick out his own breakfast cereal as long as he chose one box from a list of acceptable brands that did not contain an abundance of sugar … and he knew very well which ones were on that list. On this particular shopping trip, he decided to test that rule and picked up a box of Sugar Crisp. I told him to put it back and select an acceptable alternative — he refused. I told him that he either put it back and choose something acceptable or he would get no cereal this trip. You know what happened.

So, I took the box from him, put it back on the shelf myself and told him, “Then no cereal today.” Oh, my goodness, you’d think I had beaten him. While I finished my shopping, he followed me up and down every aisle of that store wailing, “My mom won’t buy me breakfast!” As we approached the cash register, he grabbed a candy bar and added it to the groceries on the belt. I simply said “no” and put it back on the shelf. I could not believe my eyes as my sweet little boy turned into a demon child. He threw himself down on the floor and devolved into a full-blown temper tantrum. I simply said, “I’m going” and headed for the door pushing my cart ahead of me.

At this point, he realized I was serious and figured he had better follow me out or risk being left behind in the aisle. To this day, he remembers this event as well as I do. We laugh about it every time the story comes up. Having raised three boys of his own, he has had to come up with his own methods of persuasion. No matter the method, a lesson was learned by my son and was passed along to my grandchildren by their dad: “This subject is not up for negotiation. No means no.” As a parent, it is important to establish rules and teach your children to follow them. They will not always accept those rules as being in their best interests, but they also learn — when you are consistent — that there is no use arguing.

Now, fast forward a couple of decades to when you become grandparents. It is now your turn to follow your children’s rules as they have established them for your grandchildren. You may not agree with them, but you must never challenge them. Your role as a grandparent is totally different. You do not set the rules but support your children as parents and respect their wishes. I came upon an article on the internet that describes this transition and lists the following seven toxic things a grandparent should never say or do.

1. Saying: “We didn’t have all these safety rules and my kids lived.” Maybe so, but society knows better now. Best practices have changed a great deal since we were parents, and our adult children are getting up-to-date information in the hospital and at the pediatrician’s office. When you contradict that advice, it creates confusion and stress for parents. And we need to follow our kid’s rules as they pertain to our grandchildren in matters of safety.

2. Saying: “Give me the baby, and I’ll show you how to …” This is an approach that is never received well. While you have wisdom and experience, your children — as new parents — must learn for themselves. Instead of jumping in with a suggestion, compliment them on doing so well in their new role.

3. Thinking you’re the boss. Never, ever undermine the parents’ authority by ignoring their rules. There is no room for your vote in this new family dynamic. Your son or daughter is the parent, and their rules must be respected. If you ignore their parameters in this matter, you may find yourself having limited access to your grandchild in the future.

4. Overstepping boundaries. As grandparents, we naturally want to help when the new baby arrives or at any time thereafter. But it is very important that we do not simply swoop in and take over whenever we visit. Establish with the new parents right away what they would like your role as grandparent to be, and ask them to set the boundaries for you. There is a balance between showing support and taking over — find it.

5. Posting photos online. You finally have a grandchild, and the bragging rights that come with being a new grandparent. You are eager to show off. But before posting any photos online, ask the parents for permission. Everyone has different ideas about what is safe and appropriate. Your kids — now parents — grew up with the internet and better understand the dangers of sharing too much. They may have strong feelings about safety and privacy, and you must respect their wishes.

6. Competing with the other grandparents. It is quite common for grandparents to feel competition for their grandchildren; we all want to be important in their lives. This is especially true if one set lives closer than the other or if the new parents have a closer relationship to one set of grandparents. And inevitably grandparents will have differing amounts of money, resources, time, or better health. It is natural to experience the fear of missing out. But remember that long distance grandparents can have just as important a role as the ones who live nearby. Have online visits, send cards regularly, get creative with how you stay in touch. But avoid making up for the long distance with a shower of gifts.

7. Parenting the parents. It’s time for you to take the backseat and let your children be the parents. You raised them to the best of your ability. Now it is their turn to do the same with your grandchildren. Support them, encourage them, compliment them. Unless your grandchildren are in a neglectful situation where they are in actual danger of harm, it is time to let your kids drive the parent mobile.

And now, a request to all of our local grocers. Try to remember what it was like to be a parent of young children. And remember what it was like to be a kid. It’s a simple fact that kids want candy and parents do not want them to have it. So, please, can you remove the candy and gum by the check-out registers? You can put all of the candy in the same aisle. We will still buy it, but if we are with our kids and do not want to have the discussion, we can avoid that aisle — and the scene at the cash register. Parents everywhere will thank you for making their lives a little easier and the lives of their children a little healthier.

And, parents, keep up the good work. Time goes by fast, so cherish all the moments. It eventually gets easier, and the memories of family times will far outweigh — and outnumber — the memories of the grocery store tantrums.

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NURSING HOMES/SENIOR LIVING FACILITIES

Freeman Nursing and Rehabilitation Community

Kingsford

906-774-1530

They welcome anyone who would like to entertain the residents. Volunteers are also needed to help with crafts and other activities.

On the third Tuesday of every month at 2 p.m. they host a Memory Cafe — a fun hour to spend with others. For more information, contact Jaime Hathaway at jlhathaway@protonmail.com. The program runs on donations.

Sunday: Catholic Mass on TV, 10 a.m.; relax-coloring, 2 p.m.

Monday: Chair fun, 10 a.m.; trivia, 10:30 a.m.; ball toss, 11 a.m.; card club, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Nail spa/room visits, 10 a.m.; YouTube live action, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Bible study, 10 a.m.; coffee talk, 10:30 a.m.; wacky Wednesday, 11 a.m.; crafts in dining room, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Pool noodle hockey, 10 a.m.; room crafts, 1:30 p.m.; bunny visits, 2 p.m.

Friday: Painting, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Word search, 1 p.m.; family time, 2 p.m.; “Weakest Link” on PBS, 7 p.m.

Iron County Medical Care Facility

Crystal Falls

906-874-1501

No information was available.

Optalis Healthcare

Kingsford

906-774-4805

No information was available.

Maryhill Manor Nursing Home

Niagara, Wis.

715-251-3172

Families are allowed to attend activities and are encouraged to join in.

Sunday: Coffee and Scattegories, 10 a.m.; delivery of communion, 12:30 p.m.; prize bingo, 1:45 p.m.; church service, 2:30 p.m.

Monday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; pamper and polish, 10 a.m.; afternoon ride, 12:30 p.m.; bocce ball, 2 p.m.; game night, 5:15 p.m.

Tuesday: Rosary, 9 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 9:30 a.m.; five second rule, 10 a.m.; resident council, 1 p.m.; music with Bob Larson, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; card games, 10 a.m.; jokereno, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.; trivia challenge, 5:15 p.m.

Thursday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; mugs and Twinkies, 10 a.m.; garden planting, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Friday: Outdoor game, 10 a.m.; happy hour with Ray and Mindy, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Board games, 10 a.m.; courtyard games, table ball, 2 p.m.

Northshore Healthcare

Florence, Wis.

715-528-4833

No information was available

Victorian Pines

Iron Mountain

906-774-5158

Sunday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1:30 p.m.

Monday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; trivia and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Saturday: Juice time, 10 a.m.

Pinecrest Medical Care Facility

Powers

906-497-5244

Sunday: Morning visits and reality orientation; Bunco, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:15 a.m.; church services, 1:30 p.m.; ice cream social, 2:30 p.m.: daily chronicle.

Monday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; you be the judge, 11 a.m.; bowling, 1:45 p.m.; Bible studies, 3 p.m.; book club, 4 p.m.; movie, 6 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Tuesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; juice hour, 11 a.m.; who-what-where, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; Sequence, 4 p.m., daily chronicles.

Wednesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; hangman, 11 a.m.; shopping to Dollar General; crafty Wednesday, 1:45 a.m.; rummy, 4 p.m., daily chronicles.

Thursday: Morning visits and reality orientation; bingo/trivia, 10:30 a.m.; off to the races, 2 p.m.; table talk, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Friday: Morning visits and reality orientation, Catholic Mass, 10:30 a.m.; picture this, 11 a.m.; paint and sip, 2 p.m.; book club, 4 p.m.; game night, 6 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Saturday: Morning visits and reality orientation; exercise group, 10 a.m.; juice hour, 11 a.m.; Bible studies, 11 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 3 p.m.; daily chronicles; activity packets.

SENIOR CENTERS

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Pork roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots, dinner roll, pudding.

Wednesday: Oven-fried fish and chips, baked beans, tartar sauce.

Thursday: Brats, potato salad, corn-on-the-cob, fruited Jell-O.

Breen Center

Kingsford

906-774-5110

Dine-in eating Monday through Thursday at noon, salad bar at 11:30 a.m. Carryout meals are available. Soup and salad bar are also available. Friday and night meals are on hold indefinitely. Menu for the week —

Monday: Lasagna, green beans, garlic bread.

Tuesday: Super grilled ham and cheese, baked sweet potato fries, corn, pudding.

Wednesday: Fish with vegetables, oven-roasted potatoes, dinner roll, Jell-O with fruit.

Thursday: Italian sausage bake, Italian-style vegetables, cheesy breadstick.

Crystal Falls Center

Head Cook: Elizabeth Peryam

Assistant Cooks: Debbie Bigalke and Shannon Stapleton

906-875-6709

The center is serving meals for dine-in or takeout – call the center by 1 p.m. to make reservations or place an order. All food purchased from local vendors. All dinners include warm vegetables, salad bar, soup, homemade desserts, coffee, tea or milk. Salad bar begins at 4:30 p.m. and dinner is served at 5 p.m. Pickup for takeout meals is 4 p.m. – call ahead and leave a message with a phone number. A volunteer will deliver meals to homebound citizens only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Chicken salad sandwich, baked beans, potato chips.

Tuesday: Spaghetti casserole topped with melted cheese, garlic bread.

Wednesday: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy.

Home-delivered meals (prepared by DICSA – independent from above menu) —

Monday: Pancakes, sausage, hashbrowns, applesauce.

Tuesday: Mexican lasagna, refried beans, fiesta corn.

Wednesday: Fish with vegetables, roasted potatoes, whole wheat dinner roll, Jell-O with fruit.

Thursday: California Cobb salad with dressing, mixed fruit salad, dinner roll.

Dickinson-Iron Community Services Agency

DICSA

Iron Mountain

906-774-2256, ext. 230 or 235

This is a Meals on Wheels, home-delivered program only — call to make arrangements. Menu for the week —

Monday: Pancakes, sausage, hashbrowns, applesauce.

Tuesday: Mexican lasagna, refried beans, fiesta corn.

Wednesday: Fish with vegetables, roasted potatoes, whole wheat dinner roll, Jell-O with fruit.

Thursday: California Cobb salad with dressing, mixed fruit salad, dinner roll.

Friday: Shredded barbecue chicken on a bun, sweet potatoes with butter, green beans, Jell-O with Cool Whip.

Note: All meals include a choice of skim milk, juice, or no beverage.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-828-1776

Schedule for the week:

Monday: Les Artistes art club, noon to 3 p.m.; woodcarvers, starting at 9 a.m.

Tuesday: Cards — Pinochle and cribbage, noon to 4 p.m.; Happy Quilters, noon to 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Bingo, 1 to 3 p.m.; cards cost 25 cents with 10 games played.

Thursday: Spinning Spools quilting, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.; board games, 1 to 3 p.m.

Friday: Cards — Smear, noon to 4 p.m.; chess, noon.

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Salad bar opens at 11 a.m., with the meal at 11:30 a.m. and dessert to follow. Evening meal is served every third Wednesday of the month, with sponsored activities. Takeout meals are available for pick up.

Menu for the week —

Monday — Biscuits and sausage gravy, hashbrowns, fresh fruit, yogurt.

Tuesday — Chicken a la King over noodles, vegetable.

Wednesday — Garlic Parmesan fish sandwich, chips, cole slaw.

Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC) of Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Menu for the week —

Monday: Baked chicken, au gratin potatoes, candied carrots, fruit.

Tuesday: Egg roll casserole, rice, Asian cucumber salad, fruit.

Wednesday: Spaghetti with meat sauce, spinach and strawberry salad, garlic bread, fruited Jell-O.

Thursday: Biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, hashbrown patty, tomato juice, fruit.

Friday: Fish patty on a bun, sweet potato fries, baked beans, broccoli slaw, fruit.

Note: All meals served with whole grain bread, butter and milk.

Aurora-Hillcrest Dining Center

Serving at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday. For reservations, call 715-589-4491.

Florence Community Center

Serving at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Thursday. For reservations, call 715-528-4261.

Fence Town Hall

Serving at noon Wednesday only. For reservations, call 715-589-4491.

Tipler Town Hall

Serving at noon on second Thursday only. For reservations, call 715-528-4261.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Barb Peters

906-498-7735

Center is open 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday. Meals are served through the Menominee-Delta-Schoolcraft Community Action Agency in Escanaba. Meals On Wheels program is available for those who are homebound.

Monday: Sloppy Joes, bun, tater tots, green beans, mixed fruit cup, milk.

Tuesday: Pork fritter, mashed potatoes with gravy, wax beans, applesauce, bread, milk.

Wednesday: Beef enchilada casserole, Spanish rice, corn with peppers and onions, fresh fruit, milk.

Thursday: Chicken Alfredo, fettuccine noodles, mixed vegetables, side salad with cheese and tomato, warm fruit compote, milk.

Friday: Beaded pollack fish fillet, boiled red potatoes, broccoli, pineapple and oranges, whole wheat bread, milk.

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Salad bar opens at 11 a.m., with the meal served at 11:30 a.m. No night meals are available. Meals can be prepared for carryout.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Biscuits and sausage gravy, oven-roasted potatoes, applesauce.

Tuesday: Garlic linguine with fish, California blend vegetables, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Unstuffed pepper bowl, cauliflower, whole wheat bread and butter, Jell-O with fruit.

Thursday: Chicken and spaghetti, peas, garlic breadstick.

All meals are served with choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.

Niagara Senior Center/Cafe

715-251-1603

Dinner is served at noon Monday through Thursday. Reservations are required one day in advance. Suggested donation for the meal is $5 for those older than 60 and $11 for 60 and younger. Bingo is played on most Wednesdays. Transportation to the meal site is available.

Tuesday: Barbecue pork rib sandwich, baked beans, potato tots, peaches.

Wednesday: Beef stroganoff, egg noodles, broccoli, carrot raisin salad, warm applesauce.

Thursday: Ham, scalloped potatoes green beans, wheat dinner roll, rhubarb dessert.

Norway Center

Director: Alicia Rochon

906-563-8716

Dine-in eating begins at 11:15 a.m. Takeout meals are available for pick-up from 11 to 11:30 a.m. Those attending are asked to let staff know in advance if planning to dine in or pick up the meal.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Pepper steak, rice, Oriental vegetables, peaches, cobbler.

Tuesday: Biscuits with sausage gravy, hash brown potatoes, sausage, Mandarin oranges, pudding.

Wednesday: Bratwurst with sauerkraut, red potatoes, corn, pineapple, Jell-O.

Thursday: Pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes with gravy, peas and carrots, applesauce, brownies.

Birthdays and bingo on second Thursday.

Center activity schedule:

Mondays and Thursdays — Exercise at 10 a.m. and card bingo after the meal.

Monday through Thursday — Card game 101, noon to 3 p.m. Call Joe at 906-563-5587 for information.

Tuesdays — Quilting and sewing.

Wednesdays — Ceramics and crocheting.

Last Monday of each month — Book club at 9 a.m.

Second Thursday of each month — Birthdays and bingo.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Dine-in meals served. Salad bar opens at 11 a.m. and meal is served at 11:30 a.m. Carryout meals also available.

Tuesday: Wet burritos, refried beans with cheese, Mexican rice, Jell-O with fruit.

Wednesday: Pasty pie, corn, applesauce.

Thursday: Ham with scalloped potatoes, peas, dinner roll, fruit crumble.

All meals served with an option of milk, juice or no beverage.

Home-delivered meals —

Monday: Pancakes, sausage, hashbrowns, applesauce.

Tuesday: Mexican lasagna, refried beans, fiesta corn.

Wednesday: Fish with vegetables, roasted potatoes, whole wheat dinner roll, Jell-O with fruit.