Dear Annie: I’m a retired, divorced man who had a fulfilling career, but I now struggle to find female companionship. I was mostly focused on my career and got married in my mid-40s, partly out of loneliness, and together we have a daughter in her 20s. Looking back, I don’t think I was ever truly in love with my ex-wife. Still, I’ve never criticized her in front of our daughter because it’s the only mother she’ll ever have. I do worry she takes advantage of her, though.

As a kid, my father was an alcoholic, and my mother battled mental illness. As the youngest in the house, I became her caretaker in my early teens and stayed in that role until she passed.

My ex-wife cheated, stole from me, as well as did other things no one should do to their spouse. She had a terrible temper and lied to the police once saying I hit her, which resulted in me getting arrested. I’ve never, ever hit anyone in my life, and I never hit her, especially during one of her temper tantrums. Looking back, I should have divorced her many years before I did.

Now, I have trouble trusting people, and yet, I still manage to find myself in romantic relationships with untrustworthy women since my failed marriage. I don’t dwell on the pain of my past on the first few dates, but I do slowly start to open up about it as time passes.

I attend church, belong to some organizations and attend some activities. I have a passion for cooking and entertaining. I am somewhat able to approach women. Other people tell me I’m reasonably handsome, kind, polite, modest, a bit chivalrous and know how to have fun with others. I don’t smoke, and I drink very little alcohol. I do still have a sex drive. Despite dating some women since my divorce many years ago, I’m having trouble finding someone I’m interested in having a long-term relationship with.

I did seek counseling as my marriage was failing to try to find a way to save it. After the whole arrest experience, I realized it was hopeless. Since I had a dad who was not interested in his kids, despite some experience helping my siblings with theirs, I soon realized I had no role model to follow in raising my daughter. Her mom never seemed very interested in her as a child, and I wanted to be the best dad I could be, so I attended counseling to help raise her, almost all by myself. She has a few of my bad habits, but I’m proud to say I think she has turned out to be a fine young woman.

I have trouble dealing with my life alone, and as a consequence, I regularly see a psychiatrist and take medication for depression. It does help some. Should I get counseling again, and do you have any advice for me? I really don’t want to remain lonely and depressed for the rest of my life. — Good Man in the Storm

Dear Good Man: It says a lot that you’re so willing and open to finding a new connection despite your previously rocky go-rounds at love. You’ve lived through hardship, and yet you remain hopeful, which is something you should be proud of. You have so much life left to live and you shouldn’t feel any shame for still wanting love, intimacy and companionship in these golden years.

Finding someone who shares your values and interests is a great place to start. Signing up for a singles cooking class or attending an event hosted by your church might introduce you to women your age that you have things in common with. And I do advise getting back into counseling. Combined with your medication and commitment to building a fulfilling future, the right therapist will help you untangle the trauma of your previous relationships and learn to spot any red flags early in your next one.

You sound like a caring father and a thoughtful man that someone would be lucky to call a partner. Keep an open mind and open heart — just because you’ve been burned before doesn’t mean the right flame isn’t out there.

Send questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.