NIAGARA, Wis. — When we were children, we took as fact everything we were taught by our teachers or read in our textbooks. And, up until adolescence hit, we believed everything our parents told us as well. As we grew older, we began to challenge all of that authority as we experienced life for ourselves and began to question what we had been taught. This questioning process is all a part of growing into becoming our own person and learning to think for ourselves. Eventually, the turmoil of adolescence settles down as we experience more of life and make decisions about where we stand on a variety of topics.

This process of questioning and rethinking our beliefs really never stops. Adulthood is certainly not stagnant as we continue to experience different types of people and situations in the workplace and learn to fill different roles as employee, spouse, parent, grandparent, and elder. We are continually being molded by our world and our place in it. As we confront and overcome a variety of challenges, we are constantly shaped and reshaped as we work our way through life’s twists and turns. And, because we are all unique, we respond differently to the challenges of our lives. We view the same situation differently than our neighbor or our sibling and, consequently, will take a different course of action in reacting to it.

It is no wonder, then, that history varies with the author’s telling. World War II happened; it is a fact. Specific events led up to the war, specific battles occurred, and treaties were indeed signed that ended it. But the recollection of the hardships of the war and the reporting of them will most definitely produce a variety of accounts depending upon the author’s involvement and personal experience of the hardship. A book written by a white author describing the American dream will certainly have a different message than one written by a black author or a recent immigrant.

So, what does all of this have to do with aging and retirement and the purpose of this column anyway? Well, by now, we all have been given the gift of retrospection. We are of a certain age where we can look back on the history of our lives and spot the turning points. We can understand how and why we responded to challenges the way we did. We have lived the results of our choices and experienced the repercussions of our decisions. And we can even begin to better understand our parents’ reactions to life’s events when we were children as we can now put ourselves in their shoes and empathize. Having gained all of this information and insight, we can better write our own stories.

Again, I turn to Mary Pipher and her book “Women Rowing North” for the insights shared in today’s column. I so enjoyed this book and her writing not only because I am on my own journey north, but because of her philosophy of choice and the power it gives each of us at this stage of our lives. We have the oar in hand, we possess the compass, and we are in control of our canoe on this last stage of our journey. In her chapter entitled, “Crafting Resplendent Narratives,” she writes, “We can’t change our pasts, but we can still change our stories. It isn’t just long histories that influence our lives; it’s also the narratives we tell ourselves about that history.”

We are all products of our childhoods. Our own parents were no more experts at raising children than we were; every generation does things differently in that role. Resources available to parents now were not available to me as a mother and certainly not to my mother when she raised me. Even the notion of discussing your problems and challenges with a support group did not exist in earlier generations. Individual families were much more insular in past generations and much more prone to family secrets or “skeletons in the closet.” Problems belonged to the individual who was expected to be strong enough to figure it out for himself or to simply “deal with it.”

Because of this lack of emotional support, generations have come of age without the professional help from which individuals and families could have benefitted. And if not professional help, at least being encouraged to talk about it with another caring individual could have provided help to some who were struggling to understand the hurdles they faced in their lives. From the various challenges of our early beginnings, we now all have stories that define who we are today. As Pipher writes, “Functional stories are based on reality and include, at some level, everything that has happened to us — our mistakes, regrets, and traumas — but also our victories, joys and moments of strength.”

Even at this age, we are all still influenced by memories of our younger years. When reminiscing causes us pain, we have the ability to reframe that memory. Instead of recalling the pain, guilt, or embarrassment, we can seek to recognize the inner strength we had to grow through the difficult time. We can remind ourselves what we have learned as a result of that painful experience. We can seek to understand that bad things happen, and that some things were beyond our control and were never our fault. Finally, we can congratulate ourselves for our resiliency for working through a painful chapter in our history. As Pipher states, “We can slowly train ourselves to think in stories that allow us to flourish.”

Pipher shared an account of a local artist who wandered the beach after Hurricane Sandy picking up bits and pieces of wood which were all that remained of homes and businesses. From these scraps of ragged wood, she fashioned beautiful works of mosaic art that now hang in local museums and rebuilt homes in the area. They are lovely recreations after the destructive tragedy that wiped out life as everyone had known it. This story is a perfect metaphor of how each of us can take those pieces of our lives that continue to cause us pain and shape them into a different picture of who we are.

Yes, we are old and a bit worn. And we may have memories with sharper edges that shattered us decades ago and still cause us pain. But we can take those shards of sadness and reshape them into a story that better represents our strength, our resilience, and our inner beauty. And we can continue our journey north with renewed satisfaction in who we are and where we are headed.

——

SENIOR LIVING

FACILITIES

Freeman

Kingsford

Scenes and sounds Sunday at noon and Monday through Friday at 11:30 a.m.

Sunday: Uno, 1 p.m.; dunking donuts, 2 p.m.; church, 2:15 p.m.

Monday: Room visits, 10 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 11 a.m.; library cart, 1:30 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; ice cream social, 3 p.m.

Tuesday: Busy room, 10:30 a.m.; reminisce, 1 p.m.; Kentucky derby, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Room visits, 10 a.m.; rosary, 10:30 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; movie and popcorn, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Reading buddy, 10:30 a.m.; Bible study, 1:15 p.m.; Crystal Hogan music, 2 p.m.; “Lawrence Welk,” 4:30 p.m.

Friday: What’s cooking? 11 a.m.; parlor games, 1:15 p.m.; Golden K bingo, 2 p.m.; happy hour, 3 p.m.

Saturday: Meet and greet, 10:30 a.m.; daily newspaper, 11 a.m.; oldies but goodies, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; evening news, 6 p.m.

Iron County 

Medical Facility

Crystal Falls

Sunday: Room visits, 9 to 11 a.m.; trivia teasers, 10 a.m.; afternoon matinee with popcorn, 1:30 p.m.; Church of Christ, 3 p.m.

Monday: Crazy hats crafts, 9 to 10:30 a.m.; resident council, 10:30 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; VFW bingo, 2 p.m.; sunshine club, 2:30 p.m.

Tuesday: CF library, 9:30 a.m.; book club, 10 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 10 a.m.; mystery ride, 1 p.m.; travel film, 1:30 p.m.; volleyball, 2 p.m.; classic movie, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Community breakfast, 9 a.m.; trivia, 10:30 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; current events, 2 p.m.; night bingo, 6 p.m.

Thursday: Puzzler, 9:30 a.m.; bowling, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1 p.m.; wildlife film, 1:30 p.m.; Christ United church, 2 p.m.; happy hour, 2:30 p.m.

Friday: Crazy hat crafts, 9 to 10:30 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; wii fun, 2 p.m.; web browsing, 2:30 p.m.; action movie, 6 p.m.

Saturday: ICMCF word search/Yahtzee, 10 a.m.; geri-gym, 11 a.m.; intergenerational social hour, 2 p.m.

Manor Care

Kingsford

Wet your whistle, 9:30 a.m. Sunday through Saturday.

Exercise, 10 a.m. Sunday through Saturday.

Lobby activity, 11:45 on Sunday, 11:15 a.m. Monday through Saturday and 4:15 p.m. Monday through Thursday.

Popcorn Day every Friday

Sunday: Just jokes, 10:15 a.m.; company’s coming room visits, 1:30 p.m.; Protestant church, 3 p.m.

Monday: Who, what, when, 10:15 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 2 p.m.; chips and chatter, 2:30 p.m.; pokeno, 5:45 p.m.

Tuesday: Trivia, 10:15 a.m.; Lutheran church, 2 p.m.; movie and manicure, 5:45 p.m.

Wednesday: Sharpen your senses, 10:15 a.m.; St. Patrick’s party with Golden Throats, 2 p.m.; flip five, 5:45 p.m.

Thursday: Crosswords, 10:15 a.m.; K bingo, 2 p.m.; crazy for cards, 5:45 p.m.

Friday: ABC game, 10:15 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 2 p.m.; chips and chatter, 2:30 p.m.; movie, 3:15 p.m.

Saturday: Current events, 10:15 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; movie, 3:15 p.m.

Maryhill Manor

Niagara, Wis.

Rosary/communion, 8:30 a.m. Sunday through Thursday and 9:30 a.m. on Friday.

Sunday: Catholic Mass, 9 a.m.; you be the judge, 10:15 a.m.; flower planting, 1:30 p.m.; Protestant service, 2:30 p.m.; Christian fellowship, 5:30 p.m.

Monday: Ball toss/trivia, 10:15 a.m.; travel club — New Orleans, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Current events, 10:15 a.m.; resident council, 2 p.m.; bingo, 2:30 p.m.; Yahtzee, 6:15 p.m.

Wednesday: Pictionary, 10:15 a.m.; creative art, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.; movie and popcorn, 6:15 p.m.

Thursday: Catholic Mass, 9 a.m.; Stations of the Cross, 10 a.m.; archery, 10:15 a.m.; jokereno, 2 p.m.

Friday: Exercise, 10:15 a.m.; short stories, 10:15 a.m.; happy hour with Ray and Mindy, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Baking, 10:15 a.m.; pamper and polish, 2 p.m.

Victorian Pines

Iron Mountain

Juice time, 10 a.m. Sunday through Saturday.

Exercise, 11 a.m. Monday through Friday.

Shopping days: 10 a.m. Tuesdays and Fridays, must sign up.

Sunday: Bible study, 1:30 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Monday: Bingo, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Tuesday: Ladder ball, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Catholic Mass, 2 p.m.

Thursday: Music with Gail, 2 p.m.; rosary, 3 p.m.

Friday: Music with David, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.

Saturday: Movie and popcorn, 2 p.m.

Florence Health Services

Florence, Wis.

Morning news, 6 a.m. Sunday through Saturday.

Sunday: Bingo/family and friend visit, 10 a.m.

Monday: Bingo, 10 a.m.; Yahtzee, 2 p.m.; reminisce, 6 p.m.

Tuesday: Resident Council meeting, 10 a.m.; crafts, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Trivia, 10 a.m.; apples to apples dice, 2 p.m.; reading, 6 p.m.

Thursday: Pastor Jason, 10 a.m.; manicures, 2 p.m.; music with Grace and Dave, 6 p.m.

Friday: Father Timothy, 10 a.m.; social hour, 3 p.m.

Saturday: Family and friends visit/bingo, 10 a.m.

Pinecrest Medical Care Facility

Powers

Sunday: Grace church, 10:15 a.m.; current events, 10:30 a.m.; Lutheran service, 2 p.m.

Monday: Life connections, 9:45 a.m.; busy bee, 12:45 p.m.; worship and communion service, 1:30 p.m.; rosary, 2:30 p.m.; bean bag toss, 3:30 p.m.; Scrabble, 6 p.m.

Tuesday: Veterans’ program, 10 a.m.; busy bee, 12:45 p.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; Scattegories, 3:30 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Resident council, 10 a.m.; Jim Clements, 2 p.m.; cribbage, 3:30 p.m.; room visits, 6 p.m.

Thursday: Exercise, 10 a.m.; busy bee, 12:45 p.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; cards, 3:30 p.m.; board game, Sorry, 6 p.m.

Friday: Catholic Mass, 10:30 a.m.; busy bee, 12:45 a.m.; spa treatments, 2 p.m.; book cart, 3:30 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 6 p.m.

Saturday: Trivia, 10:15 a.m.; coffee social, 10:30 a.m.; mind joggers, 2 p.m.

SENIOR CENTERS

Note: All centers ask for 24-hour advanced reservations for lunch. Those who have meals delivered who will not be home should notify the Center.

Alpha-Mastodon Center

906-875-3315

Meal at noon every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Lunch at noon.

Bingo on Tuesdays.

Free meal drawing on Thursdays.

Menu for the week:

Tuesday: Spaghetti, green beans, lettuce salad and garlic bread.

Wednesday: Pork roast, mashed potatoes, carrots and coleslaw.

Thursday: Meatloaf, baked potatoes, corn and lettuce salad.

Breen Center

906-774-5110

Meals Monday through Friday.

Pasty sale every third Saturday of the month, except on holidays.  

Cards and games available 9 a.m. to noon and 1 to 2 p.m. 

Hostess on duty Monday through Friday.   

Treats and coffee, 8:30 to 11:30 a.m.

Center retail store is open 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Monday through Friday; volunteers and donations are welcome.

Birthdays acknowledged every day.

Evening meals are on the first and third Thursday of the month. Salad bar opens at 4 p.m., with dinner at 5 p.m. Donations are $4 for those 60 and older and $5 for 60 and younger.

Menu for the week:

Monday: Beef stroganoff, noodles and broccoli.

Tuesday: Chicken pot pie.

Wednesday: Sloppy Joe, potato wedge, pork and beans.

Thursday: Ham, scalloped potatoes and green beans.

Friday: Fish or bratwurst, baked potatoes and cream peas.

Soup, salad and dessert are offered with every meal. Reservations for meals are encouraged. Walk-ins are welcomed.

Crystal Falls Center

Head cook: Lucy Korhonen

906-875-6709

The Center is not just for seniors — bring a friend.

Suggested meal donations: $5 if older than 60; $6.00 if younger than 60; $1 extra for take-out

To reserve meals, call the Center by 1 p.m. with name and number of people.

All dinners include the soup and salad bar, homemade dessert, tea, coffee and milk

Open: Monday through Wednesday, 4:30 p.m., soup and salad bar; 5 p.m., dinner

Mondays: Basket weaving after dinner — all are welcome for dinner and/or class. Beginners can make their first basket with materials provided.

Menu for the week:

Monday: Chili hot dog with all the fixings.

Tuesday: Hot beef sandwiches, mashed potatoes and gravy.

Wednesday: Chicken cordon bleu with stuffing and mashed potatoes.

Crystal Lake Center

906-239-0278

The center is closed on weekends.

Monday: Woodcarvers, 10 a.m.; Les Artistes Art Club, noon,

Tuesday: Pinochle, 12:30 p.m.; two-person team cribbage, 12:30 to 3:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Spinning Spools Quilters Guild, 1 p.m.; crafters, scrapbookers and others also welcome; knitting and crocheting class, 1 to 3 p.m.

Thursday: Pinochle, 12:30 p.m.; Happy Quilters, 1 p.m.

Friday: Smear, noon.

In addition to home delivered meals, a lunch at the Center is offered every Wednesday from 11:45 a.m. to 12:45 p.m. along with two evening meals each month. Meals cost $5 for those younger than 60 and a $4 donation for those older than 60.

Home delivered meal menu for week:

Monday: Spaghetti and meatballs, corn and breadstick.

Tuesday: Chef salad, cottage cheese, croutons, boiled egg and dressing.

Wednesday: Tomato and rice soup, carrot salad and crackers.

Thursday: Roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy and country blend vegetables.

Friday: Lemon pepper fish, rice and carrots.

Any questions regarding the home delivered meal program at this Center can be directed to Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256

Wednesday: Noon meal at Center is tomato and rice soup, buttered garlic biscuit and salad bar.

Thursday: Night Meal at Center is roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, country blend vegetables, dessert, salad bar and choice of drink.

Transportation is available from 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Monday through Friday. Call 906-282-0492 or 774-2256. Rides are $3 for age 60 and older, and $3.50 for younger than 60. 

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Meals served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Wednesday.

Bingo after lunch on the first and third Wednesday of each month.

A congregate jigsaw puzzle is done daily.

Menu for the week:

Monday: Roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and fried cabbage.

Tuesday: Beef stew, side salad and peas.

Wednesday: Chicken cordon bleu casserole, broccoli and dinner roll.

Aging and Disability Resource Center of Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Director: Tiffany White

Suggested donation for seniors older than 60 is $4 per meal. Residents younger than 60 must pay $7. Reservations and cancellations are needed 48-hours in advance.

The ADRC can assist area seniors and those with disabilities with transportation Monday through Friday. Transportation reservation should be made with meal reservation.

Menu for the week:

Monday: Lasagna rollups, dark green salad, garlic bread, fruit cup and birthday cake.

Tuesday: Cook’s choice, entrée, two vegetables and fruit.

Wednesday: Pork steak, mashed potatoes, beets and peaches.

Thursday: Pizza casserole, garlic bread sticks, coleslaw, applesauce and cookies.

Friday: Baked cod, potato salad, baked beans and pineapple.

Other assistance includes information on aging, benefits specialist and caregiver support.

Fence Center/Town Hall

715-336-2980

For meal reservations, call 855-528-2372

Meal served Wednesday only with the same menu as listed under ADRC of Florence County. Reservations are requested. Cribbage and cards are available.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-528-4261

Home-delivered meals are available. Meal is served at 11:30 a.m. at this center Monday through Thursday, with the same menu as listed under ADRC of Florence County.

Tipler Town Hall

For meal reservations, call 715-674-2320

Serving lunch at noon on the second Thursday of the month only, with the same menu as listed under ADRC of Florence County.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

For meal reservations, call 715-589-4491

Meal is served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday, with the same menu as listed under ADRC of Florence County. Transportation arrangements can be made to and from the meal site.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Pam Haluska

906-498-7735

Meal is at noon Monday through Friday. Suggested donation is $3 for age 60 and older and $7 for those younger than 60. Morning coffee is available daily.

Fifteen games of “fun bingo” are played each Tuesday and Friday, along with a 50-50 drawing.

Tuesday: Bingo, 12:45 p.m.

Wednesday: Cards played in the afternoon. Call ahead to see if a game will be going on.

Friday: Bingo, 12:45 p.m.

Monday through Friday: Walking in the gym, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. A treadmill also is available.

Enjoy friendly interaction with other crafters.

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Meals served 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday through Wednesday; a $4 donation is encouraged from those 60 and older, and a $5 payment is required from those younger than 60. Thursday meal, 3:30 p.m. soup, 4 p.m. salad bar, with dinner 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. Home-delivered meals are available — call 906-774-2256 ext. 235 or ext. 230.

Menu for the week:

Monday: Sloppy Joe, macaroni and cheese and peas.

Tuesday: Chicken dumpling soup and egg salad sandwich.

Wednesday: Philly steak sandwich and spaghetti salad.

Thursday: Pork roast, mashed potatoes and gravy and corn.

Friday: Dance from 6 to 9 p.m. Cost is $6

Niagara Northwoods Senior Cafe and Center

Meal site manager: Corrie Maule, 715-251-1603

Senior center director: Jill Anderson, 715-251- 4154

Noon meals served Monday through Thursday. Transportation is available to the meal site for those living in the Niagara, Wis. area. Any senior groups who would like to use the meal site as a meeting place are welcome — join us for lunch then stay for a meeting or social time. Wii games, cards, puzzles and board games are available to play. 

Other activities are in the works — suggestions are always welcome. 

Those who have not been at the meal site/senior center are invited to give it a try. Those who haven’t been here in a while are encouraged to come back.

Norway Center

Director: Susie Slining

906-563-8716

Monday through Thursday: Meals served at noon, with salad bar. Soup also is available at 11 a.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Milk, juice, bread, fruit, tea and coffee served daily. Meal donation is $5. Reservation for the meal should be made in advance.

Two special-themed meals take place each month on Tuesday, with bingo, prizes and a 50-50 drawing.

Two evening meals offered at 5 p.m. on the first Monday and third Wednesday of the month, with bingo, prizes and a 50-50 drawing.

Wednesday: Blood pressure clinic from 11 a.m. to noon.

Menu for the week:

Monday: Bacon wrapped pork chop, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, salad bar, fruit, juice and dessert.

Tuesday: Quarter pound hot dog on a bun, potato salad, baked beans, soup and salad bar, fruit, juice and dessert.

Wednesday: Liver or burger and onions, mashed potatoes and gravy, peas and carrots, salad bar, fruit, juice and dessert.

Thursday: Chicken parmesan, penne noodles, broccoli, soup and salad bar, fruit, juice and dessert.

Cards are played daily after the noon meal.

Craft and exercise classes: Mondays and Thursdays.

Ceramic and art classes: Wednesdays.

Puzzles always in the works.

Note: File of Life packets available at the center.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Meals: Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, 11:45 a.m. Cards: Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Commodities every other month and quarterly commodities are every three months. A puzzle table is available to enjoy. Volunteers are always welcome. 

Menu for week:

Tuesday: Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans and tropical fruit.

Wednesday: Brat or hot dog, baked beans, coleslaw and peaches.

Thursday: Chicken parmesan, egg noodles with sauce, garlic bread and pears.