NIAGARA, Wis. — The title of today’s column will most likely produce mixed emotions within the reader. Some will simply agree because that has been their own experience. Others will agree, but decide they could have done without the pain. I recently read both an article and a book that dealt with the fact that not only do we as humans all have pain in our lives, but that pain is truly a necessary part of life for all of us. We are tempted to believe that a life without pain would be the best life to lead. So, let’s take a closer look.

As a way of easing into this topic, Roy H. Williams cites three types of people: those driven by passion, those driven by scars, and those driven by wounds. It is easy to understand being driven by passions because they are things that naturally bring us joy: deer hunting, Packers games, travel, and time spent with loved ones. Others are driven by achievement, and they spend their lives happily making the world a better place for the rest of us. Our scars are memories of sadness. We learn from painful experiences, because their scars remind us of the lessons we have learned. They are visual or emotional warnings not to make the same mistake twice. Wounds, however, are different because they have not yet healed, and maybe never will. They have changed our personality and, consequently, the trajectory of our life. They cause us to imagine the same hurt around every corner and prevent us from living a life of good choices; instead, we live a life of avoidance of an imaginary pain that will revisit us when least expected.

Author Laura Delano, in her book “Unshrunk,” tells her own story of a life lived in pain from the age of 14 until well into her 20s. Throughout those years, she made her way from psychiatrist to psychiatrist and took a veritable pharmacy of medications prescribed to her by psychiatric professionals and unpronounceable for most of us. The list is staggering, and includes an equally staggering amount of alcohol — her own self-prescribed coping mechanism. It isn’t until she joins Alcoholics Anonymous that her life begins to turn around, and she has the courage to take herself off of the many prescribed narcotics that were actually robbing her of her life.

Laura’s story began as a 14-year-old; the oldest of three children in an affluent family. She was a high achiever: excellent grades with an enviable class rank at a prestigious private school, superb athlete, loads of friends and a very bright future. She had everything planned. All those plans, however, fell apart in her eighth-grade year because she underwent a personality change that no one could understand. She had fits of rage followed by long periods of sleep. She lost all interest in school, and her grades suffered. She seemed completely unable to control herself. There was no doubt that she was suffering, yet she remained powerless to make any changes that would alleviate her suffering. Her parents sought help for her from a psychiatrist who promptly prescribed a regimen of psychiatric drugs that completely changed her personality. This began a period of more than 12 years of psychotherapy that only made her situation worse. She was barely functioning, took a year off of college, and eventually graduated. Despite graduation, she was not yet living independently of her family and could not hold down any kind of meaningful employment. If she dared look into the future, she saw no hope.

I am going to pause in Laura’s story at this point and ask a question: who among us remember their own children at the age of 14? I remember those difficult years through junior high and high school very well. My husband and I sat with our oldest son many evenings well into the night listening to his concerns, his voice full of tearful anguish; the Kleenex box was always well within reach. Our time together during those late-night sessions, along with the help of a very understanding and caring school counselor, helped our son get through those angst-filled high school years. Our youngest son went through a similar crisis only not until he was in college. We advised him all we could and encouraged him to seek a college counselor, which he did. Both are happily married now with families of their own. Neither of them was ever medicated, and they remember those times of pain as real growing experiences. They were fortunate; we all were.

While adolescent pain is especially acute, not everyone has problems that can be resolved with conversation and simply growing up. And, for that matter, no one gets through life without experiencing pain along the way. This fact brings us to the final point of today’s column. We all have pain in our lives, but that does not mean we are mentally ill and need to be relieved by the use of psychiatric medications.

In her quest for wellness without medication, Laura came to realize that her mental health had nothing to do with the disappearance of discomfort and everything to do with its embrace. She happened upon a book written by Viktor Frankl titled “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Written in 1946, his words as a Holocaust survivor clarified the truth for her. It was based on the simple notion that the objective of living is not to be happy but to find meaning. Frankl states:

“If there is a meaning in life at all then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death … The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity — even under the most difficult circumstances — to add a deeper meaning to his life.”

In other words, how we manage to find our way through the worst times in our lives defines us as a human being.

None of us makes our way through life without sadness, pain and disappointment. Whether it is the loss of a job or the failure to attain one, the loss of a loved one, the disappointment over a friend letting us down, the need to move away from all that is familiar, or learning we have a serious disease; all of these and more are all part of life. But learning to work our way through the difficulties makes us a better person, a stronger person, and a person who appreciates the good times that much more. In fact, taken a step further, we need to ask ourselves: “If not for the periods of difficulty, how would I recognize the good times when they arrived?”

Finally, difficulties in life build character. So much can be learned about ourselves and others by paying attention to how we all navigate through the low points of our lives. Do we get angry? Do we blame others for our troubles? Do we fold and give up? Or do we square our shoulders and make an active decision that life is not going to defeat us? Do we take up the challenge and work our way through our difficulties? If we choose to soldier through the tough times, we will learn many lessons about ourselves and our world … and we will emerge a stronger person for having pushed through the pain.

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NURSING HOMES/SENIOR LIVING FACILITIES

Freeman Nursing and Rehabilitation Community

Kingsford

906-774-1530

The center welcomes anyone who would like to entertain residents. Volunteers are also needed to help with crafts and other activities.

The third Tuesday of every month at 2 p.m. has a Memory Cafe – a fun hour to spend with others. For more information, contact Jaime Hathaway at jlhathaway@protonmail.com. The program runs on donations.

Sunday: Visit with your neighbor, 10 a.m.; work on the weekend packet, 6 p.m.

Monday: Walking club, 9:30 a.m.; Pine Mountain Christian School, 10 a.m.; dining trivia, 11:45 a.m.; writing club, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Walking club, 9:30 a.m.; nail spa, 10 a.m.; dining trivia, 11:45 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Walking club, 9:30 a.m.; exercise, 10 a.m.; crafts, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, 8:30 a.m.

Friday: Walking club, 9:30 a.m.; chatter with Lisa, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Puzzle packet, 10 a.m.; “The Wall” on Game Show Network channel, 7 p.m.

Iron County Medical Care Facility

Crystal Falls

906-874-1501

No information was provided.

Optalis Healthcare

Kingsford

906-774-4805

Sunday: Sunday devotional, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; games or a movie, 1 p.m.

Monday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; National Sardines Day, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; desserts and conversation, 5:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; National Parfait Day, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; board games, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Coffee time, 9 a.m.; Immaculate Conception Catholic Church, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; after dinner reminiscing, 5:30 p.m.

Thursday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; What Are You Thankful For? 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Thanksgiving craft, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; National Native American Heritage Day, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Manicures, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; afternoon coffee, 1:30 p.m.

Maryhill Manor Nursing Home

Niagara, Wis.

715-251-3172

Families are allowed to attend activities and are encouraged to join in.

Sunday: October conversation pieces, 10 a.m.; Packers vs. Vikings, noon; delivery of communion, 12:30 p.m.; Packer tailgate, 1:30 p.m.; church service, 2:30 p.m.

Monday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; pamper and polish, 10 a.m.; Pictionary, 2 p.m.; Baptist Church family sing along, 5 p.m.

Tuesday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; Protestant service, 10 a.m.; catch a phrase, 10:15 a.m.; bowling, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; help your neighbor, 10 a.m.; jokereno, 2 p.m.

Thursday: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, 9 a.m.; Packers vs. Lions, noon; Packer tailgate, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Hedbanz and cappuccino, 10 a.m.; happy hour with Ray and Mindy, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Yahtzee, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; write a letter.

Northshore Healthcare

Florence, Wis.

715-528-4833

No information was available

Victorian Pines

Iron Mountain

906-774-5158

Sunday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1:30 p.m.

Monday: Juice time, 10 a. m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; trivia and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Saturday: Juice time, 10 a.m.

Pinecrest Medical

Care Facility

Powers

906-497-5244

Sunday: Morning visits and reality orientation; Bunco, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:15 a.m.; church services, 1:30 p.m.; Sunday funday, 2:30 p.m.; “Sunday Night Football”; coloring pages; daily chronicles.

Monday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; you be the judge, 11 a.m.; bowling, 2 p.m.; Bible studies, 3 p.m.; book club, 4 p.m.; “Monday Night Football,” 6:45 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Tuesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; bingo, 10:30 a.m.; Thanksgiving play by the drama club, 2 p.m.; garbage, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Wednesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; Pictionary, 11 a.m.; crafty Wednesday, 2 p.m.; rummy, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles; shopping outing .

Thursday: Morning visits and reality orientation; bingo, 10:30 a.m.; bunco, 2 p.m.; activity packets; “Thursday Night Football,” 7 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Friday: Morning visits and reality orientation; Catholic Mass, 10:30 a.m.; pondering prompts, 11:15 a.m.; matinee movie, 1:30 p.m.; book club, 4 p.m.; game night, 6 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Saturday: Morning visits and reality orientation; noodle ball, 10 a.m.; juice hour, 11 a.m.; Bible studies, 11 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 3 p.m.; activity packets, daily chronicles.

SENIOR CENTERS

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

Menu for the week –

Tuesday: Cheese ravioli with meat sauce, green beans, salad, garlic bread.

Wednesday: Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole.

Thursday: Closed – Happy Thanksgiving.

Breen Center

Kingsford

906-774-5110

Dine-in eating Monday through Thursday at noon. Carryout meals are available. Soup and salad bar are also available. Friday and night meals are on hold indefinitely. Menu for the week —

Monday: Baked chicken and spaghetti, green beans, garlic bread, Jell-O.

Tuesday: Baked fish, au gratin potatoes, dinner roll, fruit crumble.

Wednesday: Meatloaf, baked sweet potato, carrots.

Thursday: Closed – Happy Thanksgiving.

Crystal Falls Center

Head Cook: Easton Anderson

Assistant Cooks: Debbie Bigalke (Mondays) and Jess Anderson (Tuesdays/Wednesdays)

906-875-6709

The center is serving meals for dine-in or takeout – call the center by 1 p.m. to make reservations or place an order. All food purchased from local vendors. All dinners include warm vegetables, salad bar, soup, homemade desserts, coffee, tea or milk. Salad bar begins at 4:30 p.m. and dinner is served at 5 p.m. Pickup for takeout meals is 4 p.m. – call ahead and leave a message with a phone number. Deliveries to homebound citizens only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Grilled pork chops, baked potato.

Tuesday: Chili mac, dinner roll, vegetable.

Wednesday: Chef’s choice.

Dickinson-Iron Community Services Agency

DICSA

Iron Mountain

906-774-2256, ext. 230 or 235

This is a Meals on Wheels program only. Home-delivered meals only — call to make arrangements. Menu for the week —

Monday: Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, fruit crumble.

Tuesday: Meatball soup, ham and cheese slider, Jell-O.

Wednesday: Tater tot casserole, green beans, biscuit.

Thursday: Center closed for Thanksgiving.

Meal delivered on Nov. 26: French onion pork chops, rice pilaf, green beans, pudding.

Friday: Cheese ravioli with marinara sauce, Italian vegetables, garlic bread.

Note: All meals include a choice of skim milk, juice or no beverage.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-74-2256

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-828-1776

Schedule for the week:

Monday: Les Artistes art club, noon to 3 p.m.; woodcarvers, starting at 9 a.m.

Tuesday: Cards — Pinochle and cribbage, noon to 4 p.m.; Happy Quilters, noon to 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Bingo, 1 to 3 p.m.; cards cost 25 cents with 10 games played.

Thursday: Spinning Spools quilting, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.; board games, 1 to 3 p.m.

Friday: Cards — Smear, noon to 4 p.m.; chess, noon.

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Head cook: Joan Wickman, 906-246-3559

Program president: Lisa Casey, 906-282-7899.

Salad bar opens at 11 a.m., with the meal at 11:30 a.m. and dessert to follow. Evening meal is served every third Wednesday of the month, with sponsored activities. Takeout meals are available. Delivery offered to homebound residents within Felch, West Branch and Breen townships.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Chili, grilled cheese sandwich.

Tuesday: Smothered chicken breast, mashed potatoes and gravy.

Wednesday: Porketta roast, oven-browned potatoes.

Aging and Disability Resource Center

Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Menu for the week —

Monday: Cook’s choice — entree, vegetable, fruit.

Tuesday: Deer Camp pasties, coleslaw, fruit pies.

Wednesday: Chicken patty sandwich with lettuce and tomato, potato salad, bean salad, cookies.

Thursday: All centers closed – Happy Thanksgiving.

Friday: All centers closed.

Note: All meals served with whole grain bread, butter and milk.

Aurora-Hillcrest Dining Center

Serving at 11:30 a.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 11:30 a.m. For reservations, call 715-589-4491. Homebound meals will be delivered on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.

Florence Community Center

Meal site is closed until further notice. Florence homebound meals will be delivered on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Fence Town Hall

Closed on Wednesday only. For reservations, call 715-589-4491.

Tipler Town Hall

Serving at noon on second Thursday only. For reservations, call 715-528-4261.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Barb Peters

906-498-7735

Center is open 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday. Meals are served through the Menominee-Delta-Schoolcraft Community Action Agency in Escanaba. Meals-On-Wheels program is available for those who are homebound.

Monday: Tortellini Alfredo with peas and mushrooms, diced carrots, fruit cup, whole wheat breadstick.

Tuesday: Western egg bake, oven potatoes, warm fruit crisp, fruit juice, whole wheat bread.

Wednesday: Swiss steak, garlic mashed potatoes, corn, fruit cup, whole wheat bread.

Thursday: Closed for Thanksgiving. Order an extra meal ahead of time.

Milk available at all meals.

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Salad bar opens at 11:30 a.m., with the meal served at noon. No night meals are available. Meals can be prepared for carryout.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, fruit crumble.

Tuesday: Meatball soup, ham and cheese slider, Jell-O.

Wednesday: Tater tot casserole, green beans, biscuit.

Thursday: Closed for Thanksgiving. Meal delivered on Nov. 26: French onion pork chops, rice pilaf, green beans, pudding.

All meals are served with choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.

Niagara Senior Center/Cafe

715-251-1603

Dinner is served at noon Monday through Thursday. Reservations are required one day in advance. Suggested donation for the meal is $5 for those older than 60 and $11 for 60 and younger. Bingo is played on most Wednesdays. Transportation to the meal site is available.

Tuesday: Salisbury steak with mushrooms and gravy, garlic mashed potatoes, carrots, wheat bread, pistachio fruit cup.

Wednesday: Ham, au gratin potatoes, peas, pineapple, wheat dinner roll.

Thursday: Closed – Happy Thanksgiving.

Bingo on Tuesday and Wednesday at 12:30 p.m.

Norway Center

Director: Alicia Rochon

906-563-8716

Dine-in eating begins at 11:30 a.m. Salad bar available from 11 to 11:30 a.m. Takeout meals are available for pick-up from 11:15 to 11:30 a.m. Those attending should let staff know in advance if planning to dine in or picking up the meal.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Liver or burger and onions, mashed potatoes and gravy, peas.

Tuesday: Brats with sauerkraut, baked beans, cole slaw, tropical blend fruit, pudding.

Wednesday: Turkey, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, pumpkin bars

Thursday: Closed – Happy Thanksgiving.

Center activity schedule:

Mondays and Thursdays — Exercise at 10 a.m. and card bingo after the meal.

Monday through Thursday — Card game 101 from noon to 3 p.m. Call Joe at 906-563-5587 for information.

Tuesdays — Quilting and sewing.

Wednesdays — Ceramics and crocheting.

Last Monday of each month — Book club at 9 a.m.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Dine-in meals served. Salad bar opens at 11 a.m. and meal is served at 11:30 a.m. Carryout meals also available. Dine-in meal is $5 and takeout meal is $6. Reservations are required. Call 906-542-3273 and specify if you want to dine in or take out. Come and enjoy a meal with us — all are welcome — any age. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Ham, scalloped potatoes.

Wednesday: Bacon-lettuce-tomato sandwich, soup.

Thursday: Closed – Happy Thanksgiving.