Communication perspectives
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KINGSFORD -- Golden K meets every Monday, weather permitting. A standard opening ceremony begins each meeting with the pledge to the flag, followed by singing "God Bless America." For many seniors, this was a standard procedure every morning while attending public schools. It sets aside time to pause in thankfulness for those who gave all and who are continuing to protect our country. The national holiday on Nov. 11, gives everyone the opportunity to pause in grateful memory for our freedom.
Chairperson Kathy Jo Anderson brought the meeting to order reviewing the upcoming holidays plans. Clayton Lepola gladly collected the winnings from the 50-50 drawing. Guests welcomed included Jim Snowden and Dr. Renee Strom, a communications teacher at Bay College and the guest speaker for the day. Happy Birthday wishes were sung for Larry Lindholm.
Talking comes easy. Understanding, on the other hand, requires some effort. There's an adage about teaching old dogs new tricks, yet Strom assured the group that seniors could indeed acquire improved communication tools.
Strom spoke about "Respectful Communication in Our Relationships." Respectful communication doesn't require agreement. It means approaching others with curiosity, expressing ourselves clearly and listening to understand.
Most of us admit to having some bad habits when it comes to communication. Perhaps we pretend to listen and feign interest. We may even finish sentences for people or anticipating their words.
If you find yourself in repetitive circles of non-productive conversation, consider some of the following ideas. Respond to conversations asking for clarification. Did you understand what the person was saying, and did you hear it correctly? If you felt frustrated, disappointed, worried or unappreciated, be honest and ask for more information. Tone, facial expressions and timing can affect how messages are received. Saying, "I'm listening" while checking your phone sends a mixed message.
How we feel in a conversation is a choice. Rather than blaming others by saying, "You make me feel a certain way," we can say, "I'm feeling like this, could you elaborate?"
Using the "I" when speaking says, "I need your attention." Using the "you" when speaking puts the listener on defense.
Not all conversations go well. Things can be misinterpreted.
Understanding someone's perspective does not mean agreeing with it. A respectful conversation does not require either person to surrender their viewpoint.
Strom elaborated on several points and invited comments from her audience. Questions were tactfully answered with helpful solutions.
Her final reminder was to pause and check your interpretation. Describe your experience, and decide what response would be most effective. Above all, listen.