Dear Annie: Thank you for your strong and thoughtful letter about keeping relationship details private.

I have noticed there seems to be a kind of unspoken “girl code” that makes some women feel it’s perfectly acceptable to ask personal questions about someone’s sex life — as if those boundaries don’t apply among friends. I have always found those conversations uncomfortable, and I often felt unsure how to gracefully shut them down without sounding rude or overly guarded.

That’s why I really appreciated your advice. I loved your simple and elegant response: “I never kiss and tell.” It’s firm without being defensive, and it communicates self-respect without inviting further questions.

In the past, I’ve tried saying things like, “I don’t like to talk about sexual stuff with anyone, and I know my boyfriend wouldn’t be comfortable with it, either,” which is honest but often leads to awkward silences or eye-rolls. Your phrasing is so much better; it keeps things light while clearly drawing the line.

Thank you for giving me (and so many others) the words to protect our privacy with confidence and grace. — Grateful

Dear Grateful: Your letter made me feel so good. Thank you for your kind words. I am truly honored.

I am thrilled to hear that the message resonated with you. The idea that we can protect our privacy while still being confident and kind is something I believe in deeply. I love that you are printing it and sharing it with others. I hope it helps more young women, especially those in college, feel empowered to set the boundaries that feel right for them.

Dear Annie: My brother constantly leans on me for help — rides across town, venting sessions that last for hours, favors that always seem urgent. Recently, it seems like his asks are getting more and more frequent. I always say yes, even when I’m exhausted or overwhelmed, because I don’t want to hurt his feelings or leave him hanging when he’s going through something.

I don’t want to have to turn him down. I like being there for the people I care about, especially family.

But the truth is, I’m starting to feel resentful. I get immediately filled with dread when I hear from him. I know something has to change, but I don’t know how to say “no” without damaging our relationship or making him feel rejected.

Why is it so hard to set boundaries with people you care about? And how can I take better care of myself without feeling like I’m letting him down? — Tired of Saying Yes

Dear Tired: You cannot pour from an empty cup, and from the sound of it, you are down to the last drop. It is not unkind to say, “I need some space to recharge.” Boundaries do not end good relationships; they protect them. If he values you, he will understand.

Annie Lane’s second anthology “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is available as a paperback and e-book. Go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.