Dear Annie: My husband, “Mark,” and I have been married for six years. For the most part, things are good between us, but there’s one recurring issue I can’t get past. Mark’s ex-wife, “Tina,” is still very involved in his life — not in a co-parenting way, since they don’t even have kids, but socially. She calls him every few weeks or so, invites him to group outings and has even dropped by his office “just to say hi.”

Mark says they’ve remained friends and that there’s nothing inappropriate going on. I want to believe him, but it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told him how I feel, and he says he understands, but nothing has changed. He claims cutting her off would be “unnecessary drama” and that I’m overreacting.

I’m not trying to be controlling, but I honestly just can’t seem to let it go. It really bothers me, and I can’t help but spiral into thinking they still have feelings for each other. I wouldn’t keep that level of contact with any of my exes, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the same. I’m not sure how to move forward without sounding jealous or insecure.

Am I being too rigid or is this a red flag? — Second Place

Dear Second Place: It’s one thing to be friendly with an ex, but spending time together — especially alone together — on a regular basis is a lot. You’re not controlling or insecure for wanting it to stop.

Mark seems too concerned about starting “drama” with Tina and not concerned enough about the drama it’s causing for you — and that needs to change. Let him know how seriously you’re taking this. If his boundaries with Tina still don’t change, you might be better off finding someone who puts your feelings first.

Dear Annie: My younger sister, “Rachel,” recently moved back in with our parents after quitting her job and breaking up with her fiance. She’s 27. I’m 32, and I live nearby with my husband and two kids. Ever since she moved back, my mom has been constantly calling me to complain about Rachel — how she sleeps in, doesn’t help around the house and still hasn’t started looking for work.

When I try to talk to Rachel about it, she shuts down or makes a joke out of everything. I’ve suggested therapy or even just a part-time job to get her out of the house, but she brushes it off. I feel stuck in the middle. Mom vents to me like I can fix it, and Rachel acts like I’m judging her when I try to help.

I don’t want to cut them off, but I’m drained and tired of the drama. How do I support both of them without becoming their referee? — Stuck in the Middle

Dear Stuck: Sounds like Rachel is going through a tough time and taking full advantage of having generous parents who live nearby. She is going to need to get it together at some point, which probably feels daunting after enduring so much change.

It’s OK to step back. Tell your mom that while you understand her frustration, you can’t be her sounding board for Rachel. Tell Rachel you’re there for her but she needs to figure out a plan.

Being supportive doesn’t mean playing referee. It means having boundaries so you don’t burn out.

Annie Lane’s second anthology “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is available as a paperback and e-book. Go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.