Dear Annie: I’m a 48-year-old gainfully employed man living in Denver with my wife of many years. Our marriage, while respectful and supportive, has evolved into more of a platonic partnership over time. We are navigating a difficult season as parents.

My daughter, who just turned 18 and attends college, is spending her summer in Seattle. Despite my deep desire to see her and reconnect, she has made it very clear that I’m not welcome there. She has threatened to move out or cut off communication entirely with both her mother and me if I try to visit. She refuses to speak to me, and I find myself hurt and confused by what feels like hostility and emotional withdrawal.

The situation is straining my relationship with my wife, who is now considering separation in the hopes that it will restore closeness with our daughter. While I understand her instinct to protect that connection, I am shocked and upset at her willingness to break our marriage apart as a means of appeasement.

I do not know how to move forward. I love my daughter deeply and want to repair our relationship, but the door seems firmly closed. I also value my marriage and feel deeply conflicted by my wife’s proposed path. Is there any guidance you can offer about how to rebuild trust and connection with my daughter — and perhaps preserve some sense of partnership in my marriage while doing so?

Thank you for your time and insight. — Heartbroken in Denver

Dear Heartbroken: Nineteen-year-olds generally don’t cut out contact for no reason, so your daughter’s reaction likely signals something deeper. Rather than continuing to push for contact, you might want to step back and reflect on what could be causing her need for distance.

This could involve seeking insight from your wife or working with a therapist to dive into your family dynamic a little deeper.

Rather than forcing your daughter into communication, let her know that you are willing and open to having a conversation whenever she is ready.

As for your marriage, it’s certainly concerning that your wife sees separation as a means to repair her relationship with your daughter — and it makes sense that you feel confused and betrayed. Her behavior is likely stemming from grief or fear of losing her daughter entirely.

A couples therapist can offer a space for you two to work through these choices before making irreversible decisions like ending a marriage.

Annie Lane’s second anthology, “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is available as a paperback and e-book. Go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.