Suzanne Killian

NIAGARA, Wis. — If there is one certainty in life, it is that things are always changing. Some of us find this fact exciting, and we can actually enjoy the notion that every day offers the possibility of the unexpected. And others require some sameness because in it, we find comfort. A schedule is soothing, and it is even better if it is a schedule we have made for ourselves. We have a need to know what to expect in our lives. As we age, we begin to lose some of the control over our lives, and it can feel unnerving. We are also living through a great deal of historical change right now in our country, and there may be quite a few of us who are uncomfortable. So, today this column deals with coping with unexpected change and the power of letting go.

For as long as I can remember I was always a bit of a control freak. I thought ahead — always. I planned everything in my life from school to activities with friends. The word “spontaneous” was not really in my vocabulary. I was seen as a very responsible kid. I know this came about because I was the oldest of four children in a single parent family. My mother worked all day and relied upon me to keep order after school until she got home and could take over. This was doable — even for my 10-year-old self. The bigger challenge came over the summer, when I had to watch over my younger siblings all day long — one brother was 8 years old, and the twins were 6. Truth be told, that proved too much even for a bossy big sister. So, I would “escape” to my perch at the top of the apple tree in our backyard and read for hours. The only interruption was the buzzing of the bees as they feasted on the nectar of the apple blossoms.

This level of responsibility did have its perks. I was seen as responsible and capable, so got a lot of babysitting jobs. Consequently, I had my own earnings to spend however I pleased. This was icing on the cake because growing up we did not have money for any extras unless we earned it ourselves. And, I suspect that is also where my penchant for planning and scheduling developed; I could babysit more often if I already had my homework done.

Then I met my husband quite by accident by going to a teen bar in Oshkosh on an “off night.” He was so laid back, and so easy to talk to. He was the second son in a family of four with an older brother and two younger sisters. I came to refer to him and the older of his two sisters as the “rebels in the middle.” They both lived life to the fullest and loved to party. My husband’s parents gave up giving him curfews after he handed them the Sunday paper as he came in from being out the night before. His planning back then entailed deciding how he would spend his weekends. He studied enough to get decent grades, but it was not important to him to be perfect.

He did have a very solid work ethic. Like me, he came from a home where there was not room in the budget for extras. Also, everyone had to pitch in and help around the house. This was especially true in the winter after a big snowstorm. They had an absolutely huge driveway; they could have gotten parking lot rates if they’d hired someone to plow it. But with four kids, there was no need to hire anyone; everyone grabbed a shovel and cleared that entire driveway — every time it snowed. He may not have always had a plan, but he did have enough confidence in himself to know he could handle whatever challenge presented itself.

As our life together moved along — 54 years this November — my planning and his optimism combined to keep us on track despite some pretty big challenges along the way. My organization rubbed off on him, and his flexibility rubbed off on me. I always told our sons that the most important decision they would make in their lives would be the woman they would marry. And I advised them to choose someone who was willing to work as hard as they did to build a life — pulling in the same direction together. They did not always take my advice, but they did on that one and both chose very well.

One thing that my husband and I learned — and that we all learn — is that life is full of change and much of it is beyond our control. Sometimes in life we get to a point where we are no longer moving forward, and we cannot identify the reason for our lack of progress. We know something is holding us back, but what? Most often it is hurt, anger or regret that has taken up residency in our hearts and minds, and we have not allowed ourselves to let it go and move forward. If you recognize these feelings, the following should help you to move forward on a new path.

“Forgiveness is just another name for freedom.” — Byron Katie

“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. The past is closed and limited; the future is open and free.” — Deepak Chopra

“You can’t go back and make a new start, but you can start right now and make a brand-new ending.” — James R. Sherman

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” — John A. Shedd

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” — Martin Luther King Jr.

Most of us have a plan for our lives, and just as many of us have learned that those plans do not always work out. Circumstances have changed through no fault of ours, and now we need to pick up the pieces and keep going. Facing an unexpected change head-on means acknowledging our fear, mourning the loss of control and consistency, and stepping into the future with the firm belief that we are resilient enough to handle it. We may not be able to control the twists and turns that occur in our lives, but we can control how we respond to them as the following quotes remind us.

“Once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.” — Haruki Murakami

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” — Eckhart Tolle

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” — James Baldwin

“Change is inevitable in life. You can either resist change and potentially be swept away by it — or you can cooperate with it, adapt to it, and benefit from it.” — Jack Canfield

“Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for a change.”– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There is nothing easy about change. But life is full of it so there is no way around it, either. In order for us to continue to find joy and happiness, we need to find a path through life’s unpredictability. That path isn’t always obvious, but it is well worth the search for when we find it, we once again continue our journey forward and become the person we were meant to be.

——

NURSING HOMES/SENIOR LIVING FACILITIES

Freeman Nursing and Rehabilitation Community

Kingsford

906-774-1530

The center welcomes anyone who would like to entertain residents. Volunteers are also needed to help with crafts and other activities.

The third Tuesday of every month at 2 p.m. has a Memory Cafe – a fun hour to spend with others. For more information, contact Jaime Hathaway at jlhathaway@protonmail.com. The program runs on donations.

Sunday: Play games in dining room, 10 a.m.; work on weekend packets, 7 p.m.

Monday: Walking club, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:45 a.m.; card club, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Walking club, 9:30 a.m.; nail spa, 10 a.m.; Memory Cafe, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Walking club, 9:30 a.m.; Bible study, 10 a.m.; chair workout, 10:30 a.m.; sing along with Andy, 2 p.m.

Thursday: Walking club, 9:30 a.m.; shut the box, 10 a.m.; crafts, monthly birthday party, 2 p.m.

Friday: Walking club, 9:30 a.m.; chitter chatter group, 10 a.m.; LCR game, 10:30 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Puzzle packet, 10 a.m.; “The Wall” on Game Show Network channel, 7 p.m.

Iron County Medical Care Facility

Crystal Falls

906-874-1501

Sunday: Room visits, 9 a.m.; Yahtzee, 9:30 a.m.; chair exercise, 10:45 a.m.; afternoon matinee with popcorn, 1:30 p.m.; pumpkin partners decorating begins, supplies available.

Monday: Cooking, 9:30 a.m.; DT lunch, 11:30 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; Sunshine Club, 2:30 p.m.; “Name That Tune,” 6 p.m.

Tuesday: Just friends, 9 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 10 a.m.; balloon toss, 10:45 a.m.; mystery ride, 1 p.m.; travel film, 1:30 p.m.; Dan’s songs for seniors, 2 p.m.; musical movie, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Community breakfast, 8:15 a.m.; “Animal Kingdom,” 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; Wii fun, 2 p.m.; night bingo, 6 p.m.

Thursday: Puzzler, 9:30 a.m.; bowling, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1 p.m.; wildlife film, 1:30 p.m.; happy hour with Gayle, 2:30 p.m.

Friday: Memory books, 9:30 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; cooking club, 2 p.m.; crime movie, 6 p.m.

Saturday: ICMCF word search/hangman, 9:30 a.m.; geri-gym, 10:45 a.m.; community celebration,1 to 3 p.m.; Halloween movie, 6 p.m.

Optalis Healthcare

Kingsford

906-774-4805

Sunday: Sunday devotional, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; movie/games, 1 p.m.

Monday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; daily chronicle, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; after dinner reminiscing, 5:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Halloween craft, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; Immaculate Conception Catholic Church, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; after dinner reminiscing, 5:30 p.m.

Thursday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; daily chronicle, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; festive cookie decorating, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Coffee time, 9:30 a.m.; daily chronicle, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 pm.

Saturday: Manicures, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; craft or games, 1:30 p.m.

Maryhill Manor Nursing Home

Niagara, Wis.

715-251-3172

Families are allowed to attend activities and are encouraged to join in.

Sunday: Witches’ brew and costume history, 10 a.m.; delivery of communion, 12:30 p.m.; Packers tailgate, 2 p.m.; church service, 2:30 p.m.

Monday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; pamper and polish, 10 a.m.; fly swatter balloon, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; mugs and muffins, 10 a.m.; board games, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Rosary/communion service, 9 a.m.; cider-making social, 10 a.m.; jokereno, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Rosary, 9 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 9:30 a.m.; spooky tall tale adventures, 10 a.m.; making caramel apples, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Friday: Treat bags, 10 a.m.; happy hour with Jim on the piano, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Uno, 10 a.m.; candy bar bingo, 2 p.m.

Northshore Healthcare

Florence, Wis.

715-528-4833

No information was available

Victorian Pines

Iron Mountain

906-774-5158

Sunday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1:30 p.m.

Monday: Juice time, 10 a. m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; trivia and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Saturday: Juice time, 10 a.m.

Pinecrest Medical Care Facility

Powers

906-497-5244

Sunday: Morning visits and reality orientation; bunco, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:15 a.m.; church services, 1:30 p.m.; Sunday funday, 2:30 p.m.; “Sunday Night Football,” 7 p.m.; coloring pages; daily chronicles.

Monday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; travelogue, 11 a.m.; bowling, 2 p.m.; Bible studies, 3 p.m.; book club, 4 p.m.; “Monday Night Football,” 6:45 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Tuesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; juice hour/who-what-where, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; bologna, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Wednesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; Fall hangman, 11 a.m.; Bob Larson, 2 p.m.; Yahtzee, 4 p.m.; daily chronicles, casino outing.

Thursday: Morning visits and reality orientation; bingo, 10:30 a.m.; drama club/theater, 3 p.m.; table talk, 4 p.m.; Thursday night football, 7 p.m.; daily chronicles, shopping outing.

Friday: Morning visits and reality orientation; Catholic Mass, 10:30 a.m.; what’s the scoop? 11:15 a. m.; Vicki and Dave, 2 p.m.; book club, 4 p.m.; Friday night movie “Nonnas,” 6 p.m.; daily chronicles.

Saturday: Morning visits and reality orientation; chair exercise, 10 a.m.; juice hour, 11 a.m.; Bible studies, 11 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 3 p.m.; daily chronicles, activity packets 

SENIOR CENTERS

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Chicken and dressing sandwich, mashed potatoes, corn.

Wednesday: Cheeseburger, baked fries, baked beans.

Thursday: Boiled dinner, biscuit, applesauce.

Breen Center

Kingsford

906-774-5110

Dine-in eating Monday through Thursday at 11:30 a.m., soup and salad bar at 11 a.m. Carryout meals are available. Friday and night meals are on hold indefinitely. Menu for the week —

Monday: Baked fish, au gratin potatoes, carrots, dinner roll, fruit cobbler.

Tuesday: Swedish meatballs, buttered noodles, mixed vegetables.

Wednesday: Stuffed peppers, baked potato, biscuit, pudding.

Thursday: Salad bar, 3:30 p.m., night meal, 4 p.m. — Roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, biscuit, apple pie ala mode.

Crystal Falls Center

Head Cook: Easton Anderson

Assistant Cooks: Debbie Bigalke (Mondays) and Jess Anderson (Tuesdays/Wednesdays)

906-875-6709

The center is serving meals for dine-in or takeout — call the center by 1 p.m. to make reservations or place an order. All food purchased from local vendors. All dinners include warm vegetables, salad bar, soup, homemade desserts, coffee, tea or milk. Salad bar begins at 4:30 p.m. and dinner is served at 5 p.m. Pickup for takeout meals is 4 p.m. — call ahead and leave a message with a phone number. Deliveries to homebound citizens only. Menu for the week —

Monday: Chicken fajitas, cowboy caviar (special vegetables).

Tuesday: Chef’s choice.

Wednesday: Pork chops, mashed potatoes and gravy.

Dickinson-Iron Community Services Agency

DICSA

Iron Mountain

906-774-2256, ext. 230 or 235

This is a Meals on Wheels program only. Home-delivered meals only — call to make arrangements. Menu for the week —

Monday: Spaghetti with meatballs, wax beans, garlic bread.

Tuesday: Sheet pan chicken and vegetables, cauliflower with cheese, dinner roll.

Wednesday: Cheeseburger, french fries, baked beans.

Thursday: Meatloaf, baked potato, candied carrots, dinner roll, pudding.

Friday: Taco beef and noodle skillet, fiesta corn, cornbread.

Note: All meals include a choice of skim milk, juice or no beverage.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256.

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-828-1776

Schedule for the week:

Monday: Les Artistes art club, noon to 3 p.m.; woodcarvers, starting at 9 a.m.

Tuesday: Cards — Pinochle and cribbage, noon to 4 p.m.; Happy Quilters, noon to 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Bingo, 1 to 3 p.m.; cards cost 25 cents with 10 games played.

Thursday: Spinning Spools quilting, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.; board games, 1 to 3 p.m.

Friday: Cards — Smear, noon to 4 p.m.; chess, noon.

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Head cook: Joan Wickman, 906-246-3559

Program president: Lisa Casey, 906-282-7899.

Salad bar opens at 11 a.m., with the meal at 11:30 a.m. and dessert to follow. Evening meal is served every third Wednesday of the month, with sponsored activities. Takeout meals are available. Delivery offered to homebound residents within Felch, West Branch and Breen townships.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Chicken ranch wraps, chips.

Tuesday: Barbecue pork sandwich, sweet potato fries.

Wednesday: Goulash, green beans, dinner roll.

Aging and Disability Resource Center

Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Menu for the week —

Monday: Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, candied carrots, fruit.

Tuesday: Cook’s choice — entrée, vegetable, fruit.

Wednesday: Country-style ribs, sauerkraut, squash, peas and carrots, applesauce spice cake.

Thursday: Fish sticks, baked beans, baked tater tots, chocolate chip pumpkin cookies.

Friday: Chicken pot pie hot dish, broccoli Normandy, fruit.

Note: All meals served with whole grain bread, butter and milk.

Aurora-Hillcrest Dining Center

Serving at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday. For reservations, call 715-589-4491.

Florence Community Center

Serving at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Thursday. For reservations, call 715-528-4261.

Fence Town Hall

Serving at noon Wednesday only. For reservations, call 715-589-4491.

Tipler Town Hall

Serving at noon on second Thursday only. For reservations, call 715-528-4261.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Barb Peters

906-498-7735

Center is open 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday. Meals are served through the Menominee-Delta-Schoolcraft Community Action Agency in Escanaba. Meals-On-Wheels program is available for those who are homebound.

Monday: Swiss chicken breast, brown rice, corn, vegetable, diced pears.

Tuesday: Pork fritter with gravy, mashed potatoes and gravy, succotash vegetables, whole wheat bread, apple slices.

Wednesday: Turkey meatloaf, five-way mixed vegetables, boiled red potatoes, whole wheat bread, fruit cup.

Thursday: Navy bean and ham soup, side salad with cheese and tomato, whole wheat bread, pineapple/Mandarin orange mix.

Friday: Spaghetti with meat sauce, diced beets, Brussel sprouts, whole wheat bread, fruit cocktail.

Milk available at all meals.

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Salad bar opens at 11:30 a.m., with the meal served at noon a.m. No night meals are available. Meals can be prepared for carryout. Menu for the week —

Monday: Spaghetti with meatballs, wax beans, garlic bread.

Tuesday: Unstuffed pepper bowl, corn, biscuit.

Wednesday: Chicken and dressing sandwich, mashed potatoes, mixed vegetables.

Thursday: Celebrating all October birthdays — Smothered pork chop, roasted potatoes, dill carrots, cake.

All meals are served with choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.

Niagara Senior Center/Cafe

715-251-1603

Dinner is served at noon Monday through Thursday. Reservations are required one day in advance. Suggested donation for the meal is $5 for those older than 60 and $11 for 60 and younger. Bingo is played on most Wednesdays. Transportation to the meal site is available.

Tuesday: Beef tips with gravy, mashed potatoes, broccoli, whole wheat bread, pears.

Wednesday: Barbecue pork, sweet potatoes, baked beans, wheat roll, tropical fruit.

Thursday: Chicken Kiev, brown rice, green peas, side salad, cherry dump cake.

Bingo on Tuesday and Wednesday at 12:30 p.m.

Norway Center

Director: Alicia Rochon

906-563-8716

Dine-in eating begins at 11:30 a.m. Salad bar available from 11 to 11:30 a.m. Takeout meals are available for pick-up from 11:15 to 11:30 a.m. Those attending should let staff know in advance if planning to dine in or picking up the meal.

Monday: Shepherd pie with mixed vegetables and a biscuit, cranberry sauce, tropical blend vegetables, cookie.

Tuesday: Sloppy Joes, fries, baked beans.

Wednesday: 4 p.m. meal — Roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, candied carrots.

Thursday: Spaghetti with sausage, garlic bread, cauliflower, Mandarin oranges, pudding.

Board meeting on Thursday.

Center activity schedule —

Mondays and Thursdays: Exercise at 10 a.m. and card bingo after the meal.

Monday through Thursday: Card game 101 from noon to 3 p.m. Call Joe at 906-563-5587 for information.

Tuesdays: Quilting and sewing.

Wednesdays: Ceramics and crocheting.

Last Monday of each month: Book club at 9 a.m.

Second Thursday of each month: Birthdays and bingo.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Dine-in meals served. Salad bar opens at 11 a.m. and meal is served at 11:30 a.m. Carryout meals also available. Dine-in meal is $5, takeout is $6. Reservations are required — call 906-542-3273 and specify for dining in or takeout. Come and enjoy a meal with us — all are welcome, any age. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Chicken stir fry.

Wednesday: Spaghetti, garlic bread.

Thursday: Pulled pork, cheesy potatoes.