Heloise

Dear Heloise: It’s at this time of year that so many people feel a sense of grief during the holidays. While so many of us are enjoying family and friends during the holidays, there are thousands of people who wish desperately for someone to take them shopping or call them a couple of times a week, even if it’s just to say “hello” and show some sincere interest and kindness.

If your parents live out of state, a visit or a card with a letter inside is always fun to get. If you have family or friends who are going through a difficult time, invite them to dinner or lunch. Most of all, stay in contact! The world can look very dark to anyone who has lost a child, a partner, or even a pet.

Sometimes we can’t give advice; we can only listen but show interest and assure them that we are there to support them as they grapple with their sadness. The words “what can I do to help you” can mean the world to another person. If at all possible, get them out of the house, visit friends together, or see a movie or a play.

You can have them help you with something such as a garage sale or with donating books to a hospital or nursing home. Try to get them engaged in activities and in their lives. It may be that your company and kindness is the best gift they’ll receive this holiday season.

Heloise, thank you for your contributions, hints, and all you do to help others with your column. — Retired Dr. J.K.M., in New York, New York

Dr. J.K.M., thank you for reminding all of us that the season of joy can also be a season of sadness for others. — Heloise

TV BACKGROUND NOISE

Dear Heloise: I am writing in regarding the question from Lisa B., in New Hampshire. I discovered years ago that you can lower the background music or anything else that drowns out the dialogue by setting the sound on the TV to mono instead of stereo. Adjusting the bass and tremble on surround-sound systems also helps. Thank you for helping people to help others. — John M., in Waterbury, Connecticut

ORDERING FOOD EASILY

Dear Heloise: While traveling abroad, my wife and I enjoy eating the local cuisine. We’ve seen our accompanying friends having difficulty ordering a meal when they go up to the cashier, especially when there’s no menu present. What I do is take a picture of the meals that they have advertised using my phone and show them the picture of the items we want to order. This way, we can order away with ease. — Lupe L., via email

SAFER COOKING

Dear Heloise: I left a burner on after cooking on my electric cooktop a few times. Also, a young girl in our town died when a paper box was left on a cooktop, and someone bumped the knob and unwittingly turned the burner on.

I decided to look for a safer alternative and found induction cooktops. There is no open flame, and the only thing that gets hot is the pan sitting on the designated burner area. If you remove the pan, the burner will turn off if you forget. It can also be locked to prevent children or elders with poor memory from using it. One downside is that you must only use pans that a magnet will stick to (or buy a special interface).

A plus is that it can precisely control the cooking temperature, and it can boil water super fast! I rest much easier at night knowing the burners are off, even if I forget to turn them off! — Mercy G., via email

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Heloise@Heloise.com