Algebra to figure the White House


I remember way back taking algebra in high school and then, lucky me, again in college. I wondered what use it could possibly ever be to me.

Today, I see it might be useful. Bear with me a bit.

The White House says they gave President Trump instructions on making a phone call to the so-called President of Russia, Vladimir Putin. Let us call those instructions A. Then the White House said this instruction was leaked to the media. Let us call the leak B. So A equals B. There were instructions and they were leaked to the Fake Media. But then the president himself said that the whole thing was made up by the Fake Media. That would be the instructions we have named A. If they were truly not real — that is, if they were made up by the Fake Media — then A equals zero.

Now, for those of you who remember algebra, you also remember one side of the equation must always equal the other side. So, A equals B, but A is zero, so therefore B also is zero.

That means the whole thing is nothing if the president is telling the truth. Presidents do tell the truth, don’t they?

In any case, once again, it seems we have much to do about nothing. But we finally had occasion to use that silly algebra most of us had to sit through back in high school. Hooray!

I hope this finally makes you realize you did not waste that year in algebra class.

Donald Lison

Florence, Wis.