Thoughts on discovering a new stage of life
NIAGARA, Wis. — Anyone who has spent time raising children is familiar with the stage of life known as the “empty nest.” We have spent decades making our children’s needs our priorities and have gladly sacrificed so they have every opportunity we can afford and they grow into responsible, happy adults themselves.
Then, they leave home and learn to fly on their own, marry and raise our grandchildren. We hope they stay close enough to home so we can visit. But we do not realize that there may be another chapter to this story, another stage of life beyond this empty nest with which to familiarize ourselves.
Our youngest son is scheduled to begin the next adventure with his family in just four days. Now, before I go any further, I must share with you that he is 46-years-old. He and his wife have done a stellar job of raising her two children; our son became a husband and a father to a 10-year-old son and a four-year-old daughter when he said, “I do” 12 years ago.
For these past 12 years, they have lived in Eagan, Minn., a lovely suburb on the southern rim of St. Paul. My husband and I have enjoyed visiting them. It is a long drive — the trip has taken us five hours — but has been very doable. We have learned “the weave” as we switch from I-94 to 494, despite that distinctly Minnesotan habit of claiming ownership of the piece of highway upon which they are traveling at the moment. We have enjoyed their home, their suburb, have our favorite coffee shop and our favorite butcher there, and have eaten lots of Italian food that may even rival Iron Mountain’s ethnic specialties.
But… all of this ends in a few short days. They have sold their home and are relocating to Queen Creek, Ariz., a town of 60,000 southeast of Phoenix, where they are in the process of building their “forever home” as HGTV would say. This relocation is the fulfillment of a plan that began to take shape when their son attended Arizona State University to become a commercial airline pilot; they visited every season of the year and really fell in love with the area. Their daughter will start at ASU in August. They have worked hard to fulfill this dream; no matter what obstacles appeared along the journey, they always reminded themselves that “Arizona is not a dream, it is a plan.” And, we know they will continue to work hard to make it a successful way of life.
We dreamed along with them and shared their enthusiasm. We looked at all of the different housing options on line, previewed the various Phoenix suburbs, and took a trip to Tempe when our grandson graduated from college. And we joked about visiting every February or March to get away from our northern winters so “please find a home with a little poolside casita.”
But now that the time has come for their actual departure, I find myself wrestling with feelings I do not quite logically understand. My anxiety certainly does not match the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach when I stood on the curb watching him pull away to begin his post college life in St. Louis. I knew then if he got into any trouble, we would be too far away to help. Today he is not only older, but he is married and completely prepared for this next stage of his life.
This time, the issues are mine. My husband and I will no longer be able to jump in the car and be on his doorstep in five hours. I mentioned this to my son, bemoaning the fact that he will now be 2,000 miles away. He responded with that typical grin in his voice, “I checked. It is really only 1,910 miles.” Visiting him will become a process — not just a trip — and will be an exercise that will prove more difficult as we age. And because of the expense of the flight, our quarterly visits will become an annual one.
Granted, each visit will be for a longer time. But then the concern becomes whether or not they will enjoy us being there for a longer stretch of time. I am already thinking of ways I could make myself “useful” for a month. My daughter-in-law and I have joked that I can make cookies on one end of the kitchen island while she makes pasta on the other end.
My son has joked that there will be two TV viewing areas so my husband and I can split up to watch our favorite shows; as he put it, “when HGTV becomes an issue.” Their new home does have a lovely guest suite and ample room so we can be there without getting into each other’s space too much. And, in between, we still have phone calls and email like we do now.
But I still find a little misgiving nagging at my brain and pulling at my heartstrings. Maybe it is a little fear that our relationship will change with the greater distance between us. Will he become a citified Arizonian? Will that desert sun bake the Midwesterner out of him? Will he see us through different eyes? Will I feel a growing sense of tolerance in him with our visits rather than a level of excitement? And maybe I feel a loss of some of my ability to be a good mom. After all, he is moving to an area I know absolutely nothing about so there is no experience I can draw upon which would help me give him advice. Will my opinions still matter to him or have relevance to anything he is currently experiencing?
And, truth be told, having a son who can move his family so far away to such a different world, just makes me feel old. My own roots are 44 years deep into the soil of little Niagara and before that they were planted in the corn fields of Ripon. I have never really been an adventurous person, preferring the stability and security of smaller, familiar environments. With many more years behind me in life’s rear-view mirror, are my life lessons relevant any longer to a son who is so far removed from anything I have ever experienced?
But I think my husband hit the nail on the head when he pointed out over our morning cup of tea that we can now say, “Hurray! We raised him right. He is successful and independent. We can cheer for the victory at the end of that game, but now there is nothing left for us to do — we won, but the game is over.” And then it hit us both at the same time. That next phase of life is when he takes care of us. We are not there yet, but it is a lot closer on the horizon, and this knowledge comes with the feeling of a loss of usefulness.
At this point, all I can do is trust that we have raised a little boy into a good man who knows his own mind and heart. And believe him when he assures his mother that, “I love you and dad very much, and that love does present challenges with this move. The fact that the move is a good idea, and exciting doesn’t solve those challenges. Fortunately, we have technology, a gift of gab, and the desire to understand each other. So, we’ll work through it, and come out better on the other side.”
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NURSING HOMES / SENIOR LIVING FACILITIES
Freeman Nursing and Rehabilitation Community
Kingsford
906-774-1530
Freeman’s has resumed small group activities. Visitation is currently being allowed twice weekly with screening and COVID-19 testing required before entering the building. All precautions are still being taken to protect residents. Everyone has adjusted to this new normal, however, they are all looking forward to a great get together when it is safe to do so.
Sunday: Church on TV, 9 a.m.; crossword puzzle, 10 a.m.; self-activity cart, 2 p.m.; fireworks, 6:30 p.m.
Monday: Coffee time, 10 a.m.; lunch trivia, 11:30 a.m.; shut the box, 2 p.m.; hall visits, 3 p.m.
Tuesday: Current events, 10 a.m.; lunch music, 11:30 a.m.; story making, 2 p.m.; trivia, 3 p.m.
Wednesday: Resident Council meeting, 10 a.m.; lunch trivia, 11:30 a.m.; lucky 7, 2 p.m.;
Thursday: Coffee time, 10 a.m.; lunch music, 11:30 a.m..; crafts, 1:30 p.m.; bingo, 4 p.m.
Friday: Baking group, 10 a.m.; lunch trivia, 11:30 a.m.; art, 2 p.m.; hall visit, 3 p.m.
Saturday: Morning chat, 10 a.m.; word search, 2 p.m.; “Antiques Roadshow,” 6 p.m.
Iron County Medical Care Facility
Crystal Falls
906-874-1501
Sunday: Room visits, 9 a.m.; smart shoppers, 10 a.m.; chair exercise, 11 a.m.; room visits, 12:30 p.m.; bingorama, 2 p.m.
Monday: Trivia, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; patriotic movie, 6 p.m.
Tuesday: Book club, 10 a.m.; Catholic Mass (video), 10 a.m.; wildlife film, 1:30 p.m.; Garden Club, 2 p.m.; bonfire, 5:30 p.m.
Wednesday: Cowboy breakfast, 8:30 a.m.; western trivia, 10 a.m.; getting pretty, 1:15 p.m.; Men’s Club, 2 p.m.; night bingo, 6 p.m.
Thursday: Puzzler, 9:30 a.m.; bowling, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1 p.m.; travel film, 1:30 p.m.; happy hour with cowboy karaoke, 2 p.m.
Friday: Crafts, 9 to 10:30 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; hoedown with Jim Clement, 2 p.m.; western movie, 6 p.m.
Saturday: ICMCF word search/rodeo parade, 8:30 a.m.; room visits, noon; geri-gym, 12:30 p.m.; social hour, 2 p.m.
ProMedica (formerly Manor Care)
Kingsford
906-774-4805
The center is now open for visitation. There is no longer a need to call in advance of your visit.
Sunday: Uno, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Flip-O, 1 p.m.; movie in the lobby, 2 p.m.
Monday: Fourth of July parade, 9 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; leisure cart, 3 p.m.
Tuesday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; balloon ball, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; porch time, 2 p.m.; leisure cart, 3 p.m.
Wednesday: Room visits, 9 a.m.; manicures, 10 a.m.; Flip-O, 2 p.m.; movie in lobby, 3 p.m.
Thursday: Room visits, 9 a.m.; devotional, 10 a.m.; chocolate social, 2 p.m.; movie in lobby, 3 p.m.
Friday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; chips and chatter, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; leisure cart, 3 p.m.
Saturday: “Family Feud,” 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; porch time, 1 p.m.; movie in lobby, 2 p.m.
Maryhill Manor Nursing Home
Niagara, Wis.
715-251-3172
Visitation is allowed as long as all infection control guidelines are followed including wearing a mask, washing hands and social distancing. Daily scheduled activities continue to be for residents only.
Sunday: Book Club, 10 a.m.; delivery of communion, 12:30 p.m.; whammo, 2 p.m.
Monday: Bingo, 10 a.m.; Independence Day courtyard ice cream social, 2 p.m.
Tuesday: Rosary/communion, 9 a.m.; prayer service, 9:30 a.m.; pamper and polish, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.
Wednesday: Rosary/communion, 9 a.m.; Protestant service with Pastor Dave, 9 a.m.; devotionals, 10 a.m.; court yard camp fire, 2 p.m.
Thursday: Crafts, 10 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 1 p.m.; jokereno and freezie pops, 2 p.m.
Friday: Pictionary, 10 a.m.; happy hour with entertainment by Jim D., 2 p.m.
Saturday: Reminisce about old cars, 10 a.m.; court yard Yahtzee and lemonade, 2 p.m.
Florence Health Services
(formerly Golden Living Center)
Florence, Wis.
715-528-4833
Visitation is allowed seven days a week in designated areas only. Each visit is limited to 30 minutes and must be scheduled in advance. All visitors will be subject to health screening before entering the facility. There are no group activities at the present time.
Victorian Pines
Iron Mountain
906-774-5158
Sunday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 3:30 p.m.
Monday: Happy Fourth of July.
Tuesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; birthday party, 1:30 p.m.
Wednesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo; 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.
Thursday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; Lutheran Bible study, 1 p.m.; music with Chris, 1:30 p.m.
Friday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; refreshments, 3 p.m.
Saturday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; games and popcorn, 2 p.m.
Pinecrest Medical
Care Facility
Powers
906-497-5244
Sunday: Phase 10, 10:30 a.m.; sensory, 2 p.m.
Monday: Fourth of July parade in Powers, 10:30 a.m.; happy hour, 2 p.m.; Yahtzee, 3:30 p.m.
Tuesday: Coffee social, 10 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; cards, 3:30 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 6 p.m.
Wednesday: Bunco, 10:30 a.m.; tea party, 2 p.m.; trivia, 6 p.m.
Thursday: Outside social, 10:30 a.m.; bingo, 1:45 p.m.; cards, 3:30 p.m.; one-to-one visits, 6 p.m.
Friday: Catholic Mass, 10:30 a.m.; movie, 2 p.m.; games, 3:30 p.m.; reminiscing, 6 p.m.
Saturday: Pictionary, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.
SENIOR CENTERS
Alpha-Mastodon Center
906-875-3315
Amasa Center
906-822-7284
This center remains open. The only change is that the Iron River Center will cook and deliver the meals each week.
Tuesday: Corn dog, potato wedges and baked beans.
Wednesday: Tuna salad, cottage cheese, tomato slices and egg salad sandwich.
Thursday: Chicken sandwich, fries and green beans.
Breen Center
Kingsford
906-774-5110
Now open for dine-in eating – serving at noon. Night meals are on hold indefinitely. Carryout meals are available. Soup and salad bar are also available. Menu for the week –
Monday: Closed — Happy Fourth of July.
Tuesday: Chicken Alfredo, noodles and California blend vegetables.
Wednesday: Italian sausage, potato wedges and baked beans.
Thursday: Fish or grilled cheese sandwich, coleslaw and potatoes.
Friday: No information available.
Note: All meals served with a choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.
Crystal Falls Center
Head Cook: Sterling Peryam
Assistant Cook: Rocky Scarlassara
906-875-6709
The center is now open and is once again serving meals for dine-in or takeout – call the center by 1 p.m. to make reservations or to place your order. All food is purchased from local vendors. All dinners include salad bar, homemade desserts, coffee, tea, or milk. Salad bar begins at 4:30 p.m. and dinner is served at 5 p.m. Pickup for takeout meals is 4 p.m. – call ahead and leave a message with your phone number. A volunteer will deliver meals to homebound citizens only. Menu for the week –
Tuesday: Sloppy Joe and tater tots.
Wednesday: Pork steak with parsley potatoes and red cabbage.
Dickinson-Iron Community Services Agency
DICSA
Iron Mountain
906-774-2256 ext. 230 or 235.
Beginning July 6, Friday meals will be delivered on Wednesdays. Home delivered meals only – call to make arrangements. Menu for the week —
Monday: Chef salad/salad dressing, pears and dinner roll.
Tuesday: Pancakes/syrup, sausage and spiced pears.
Wednesday: Sloppy Joes, baked beans, macaroni and cheese.
Thursday: Smothered chicken, mashed potatoes and broccoli.
Friday: Hot dog, baked beans and fruit treat,
Note: All meals include a choice of skim milk, juice, or no beverage,
For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256
Crystal Lake Center
Iron Mountain
906-828-1776
Schedule for the week is:
Monday: Spinning spools quilting, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.; Les Artistes’ art club, noon to 4 p.m.; wood carvers, noon to 4 p.m.
Tuesday: Cards – Pinochle and cribbage, noon to 4 p.m.
Wednesday: Bingo, 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. Card cost is .25 per card, 10 games are played
Thursday: Cards – Pinochle, noon to 4 p.m.
Friday: Cards– Smear, noon to 4 p.m.
Felch Center
906-246-3559
Now open for dine-in eating – call for serving times. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —
Monday: Closed — Happy Fourth of July.
Tuesday: Chef salad, bread sticks and banana.
Wednesday: Chicken cordon bleu casserole, green beans and salad.
Note: All meals served with skim milk or juice.
Aging and Disability Resource Center
Florence County, Wis.
715-528-4890
Director: Tiffany White
Menu for the week —
Monday: Fourth of July – All centers closed.
Tuesday: Glazed pork chop, baked potato, green beans and fruit.
Wednesday: Picnic Day – Chili cheese hot dog, potato salad, baked beans, watermelon and s’mores cake.
Thursday: Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, candied carrots and fruit salad.
Friday: Ravioli with meat sauce, three bean salad, fruit.
Note: All meals served with whole grain bread, butter and milk.
Fence Center/Town Hall
715-336-2980
RSVP for meal at 855-528-2372
Same as ADRC menu, served at noon on Wednesday only.
Florence Community Center/Town Hall
RSVP for meal at 715-528-4261
Same as ADRC menu. Open Monday through Thursday serving at 11:30 a.m.
Tipler Town Hall
RSVP for meals at 715-674-2320
Same as ADRC menu, served at noon on second Thursday only.
Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora
RSVP for meals at 715-589-4491
Same as ADRC menu. Now open, served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday.
Hermansville Center
Coordinator: Barb Peters
906-498-7735
Now open – information coming soon.
Iron River Center
906-265-6134
Now open for dine-in eating – serving at 11 a.m. — salad bar available. No night meals. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week –
Monday: Closed for holiday.
Tuesday: Corn dog, potato wedges, baked beans.
Wednesday: Tuna salad, cottage cheese, tomato slices and egg salad sandwich.
Thursday: Chicken sandwich, fries and green beans.
All meals served with milk or juice and a serving of fruit.
Niagara Senior Center/Cafe
715-251-1603
The center is open, and dinner is served at noon on Monday through Thursday. Reservations are required one day in advance. Due to staffing shortages, the Red Brick Inn will prepare and deliver all meals to the Center. Suggested donation is $4.50 for those older than 60 and $7 for those age 60 or younger. Bingo played on Wednesdays. Transportation is available.
Monday: Closed for the holiday.
Tuesday: Tuna pasta salad, tomato wedges, fruit muffin and cottage cheese.
Wednesday: Roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, Monterey blend vegetables and pie.
Thursday: Egg salad sandwich with lettuce, soup, chips and fresh fruit.
Norway Center
Head Cook: Brian Gutkowski.
906-563-8716
Now open for dine-in eating served restaurant style beginning at 11:15 a.m. Salad bar available from 10:30 to 11 a.m. Takeout meals will remain available for pick-up from 11 to 11:30 a.m. Let staff know if you are dining in or picking up. Menu for the week –
Monday: Closed for the holiday.
Tuesday: Chicken bacon alfredo, breadsticks and broccoli.
Wednesday: Sloppy Joes, mixed vegetables and tater tots.
Thursday: Chicken chop suey, rice and Oriental vegetable blend.
All meals include milk, juice, fruit, bread and dessert.
Center activity schedule:
Mondays and Thursdays – Exercise at 10 a.m. and card bingo after the meal
Monday through Thursday – Card game 101 from noon to 3 p.m. – call Joe at 563-5587 for information
Tuesdays – Quilting and sewing
Wednesdays – Ceramics and crocheting
Last Monday of each month – Book club at 9 a.m.
Second Thursday of each month – Birthdays and bingo
Thursday, 19th – Board Meeting at 1 p.m.
Sagola Center
906-542-3273
Now open for dine-in eating – call for serving times. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —
Tuesday: Barbecue chicken sandwich, potato salad, baked beans and peaches.
Wednesday: Swedish meatballs, noodles, broccoli and pears.
Thursday: Pork casserole, green beans, boiled potatoes and applesauce.
All meals served with an option of milk, juice or no beverage.





