Switch out zebras in the NFL

Speak Out

The National Football League has become virtually unwatchable. Not because of national anthems, prima donna players or head injuries but because of the officiating.

If you watched the Monday night Detroit-Green Bay game, last year’s NFC Championship game or pretty much any NFL game, period, you know what I’m talking about.

I have a solution: replace the zebras in the league. Not with new men in stripped shirts, but actual zebras. Yes, those funny-looking donkeys in the weird outfits. They couldn’t do any worse, right?

They wouldn’t have any favorites, wouldn’t understand what Roger Goodell was telling them and wouldn’t command any salary, save for an occasional bale of hay or whatever they prefer dining on.

It’s a perfect plan. Imagine how much more entertaining the games would be.

Oh gee, wait — zebras and lions don’t get along, do they?

That’s why Detroit keeps getting jobbed year after year.

I obviously didn’t think this through.

Never mind.


Today's breaking news and more in your inbox

I'm interested in (please check all that apply)