Dear Annie: My neighbor and I became friendly during the pandemic. We’d pick up things for each other at the grocery store, help water each other’s plants, chat on our porches in the evening.

Somewhere along the way, she decided we were much closer than I did. Now she’ll drop by unannounced and even text things like, “I miss you, haven’t seen you today!” if I don’t respond quickly. This type of thing was fine when we were all locked at home, but we’re not living in a pandemic anymore. I’m too busy to entertain her all the time.

She’s a really nice woman, but she’s just … too much. I’ve tried hinting that I’m busy, but she doesn’t seem to get it.

How do I create space without hurting someone who hasn’t done anything wrong? — Neighborly, but Not Neighborly Enough

Dear Neighborly: You changed your rhythm during COVID; you can change it again. Don’t answer every knock or respond to every text message. When you see her, be polite but honest: “I’m going to head inside for some down time,” or “It’s been great seeing you, but I have some work to finish up.”

Left unchecked, this will turn into resentment, and that’s far more damaging than a little honest boundary-setting now.

Dear Annie: I’m the maid of honor in my cousin’s upcoming wedding, and I really am honored. I’m happy to do pretty much anything she needs. But I’ve been quietly dreading one part of the job: the speech. I am terrified of public speaking — not just nervous but heart-racing, hands-shaking, forget-my-own-name scared.

The bride keeps saying the speech isn’t that big of a deal — just a few minutes to share a heartfelt memory or two. But it’s not the content of the speech I’m worried about; it’s the prospect of standing in front of nearly 200 people and having them all stare at me.

I want to support her and go through with this, but the thought of the speech is making me anxious months in advance.

Is there a graceful way to step back from giving a speech without letting her down? — Shaking in Satin

Dear Shaking in Satin: You can step back — but you may also step into a regret that lasts longer than the speech ever would.

Most wedding speeches aren’t remembered for polish; they’re remembered for heart. Reframe the speech not as a performance but as an opportunity to tell your cousin how much she means to you. Look right at her, not at the crowd. They’ll blur. She’ll remain in focus.

Stack the deck in your favor: keep it short, write it out and practice until it feels familiar. You might want to consider a course, such as the Dale Carnegie public speaking course, specifically designed to help people overcome public speaking fears.

If you truly don’t want to deliver a speech, ask your cousin if there’s something else you can do in its place — maybe a heartfelt letter or a video compilation.

But if some small part of you does want to speak, listen to that voice. Nerves can be loud. Regret is quieter, but it lingers.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now. Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.