NIAGARA, Wis. — As we age, we begin to notice that our memory is not what it once was. We find we lose our train of thought more easily; in the time it takes to walk across the room, we can forget why we entered it in the first place. Were we looking for something? Were we on our way to do something? We rarely leave the house without a list of errands that need to be done or something will surely be forgotten, and we will need to make a second trip. We strive to remember a name or an event. My husband and I find that we speak in half sentences a lot more these days. We both remember the event we have described, but neither one of us remembers “the name of the woman with that hat, you know — she was married to what’s-his-name from the bank — the guy who drove that cool car.”

And so it goes. Some memories can be so stubborn — refusing to emerge from their well-kept secret hiding places like petulant children at bedtime. No amount of coaxing or effort can bring them forth. I remember experiencing this when I took an old photo album to my mother when she was living at Maryhill Manor. She was well into her 80s by then, and signs of dementia had arrived. I thought that photos of her past would help to jog her memory. But I soon realized that while she was enjoying the photos, she was not remembering the people in them. All of the photos — as different as the faces were — became to her one or two of the same people whose names she remembered. The others had long since been forgotten.

This is a time of year when family memories abound. We have many happy memories about trips to visit family, decorating the Christmas tree, baking special treats, and staying up late to get Christmas morning ready for the kids. My husband and I would get the Santa packages all arranged and sometimes put together a gift at the last minute, or make sure we had batteries on hand so whatever toy that required them could be played with as soon as it had been opened. It was generally a long night. So often it seemed that our heads had barely hit our pillows when our sons’ little voices were asking — at 5 a.m. — if Santa had arrived and could they go downstairs and check. A little anticipation never hurts, so we made them go back to bed until 6 a.m. — no peeking — and we stole one more hour of sleep.

But the holidays can be a time for sad and difficult memories as well. Despite our best efforts to keep them buried deep within our souls, they emerge and take center stage with such command that our entrances and exits become no longer matters of our own choosing. They have their way with us, taking us back to times and events we’d rather not recall.

They may linger in the wings of our lives waiting to appear, upon only the slightest cue, to spoil a day, ruin a moment, cloud what could have been enjoyable. My mother’s memories of the night her husband — my father — died so tragically were like this. She stood watching out the kitchen window while her four very young children slept — watching and waiting — all the while knowing something was very wrong but powerless to do anything about it. The sky was filled with the northern lights, a sight that she found no joy in after that.

Like the morning mist off the river, some memories drift above the current of our lives never allowing the sun’s brightness to fully permeate; our full potential stunted as we try to build a life… as we try to discover ourselves… or to even find the beginning of a path that will take us out of the fog and into a hope of a brighter future.

One would not believe that the ethereal could have such power; that the mist above the river could create such an impact, or that a wisp of memory have so much force as to deter growth or sway life’s direction. Yet it is its ethereal quality that give its power. It can sift into any place, creep into any opening, fill any room, fit into any solitary moment.

Personally, I struggle a bit now at the holidays. My mother passed away peacefully in her sleep on Dec. 19, 2019, at the age of 92. I knew it was coming, and I wanted to be there with her and for her. Yet our grandson was graduating from Arizona State University; our family was gathering in Gilbert, Ariz., and sharing an Airbnb to celebrate his accomplishment. If ever I wished I could split myself into two people — daughter and grandmother — and be both places at once, it was then. Based upon encouragement from Maryhill staff, I chose to wear my grandmother hat. I received a call with the news that my mom had passed as I was returning home from the airport.

My brother passed away in January 2021 — alone in his apartment — at the age of 69. He had many health issues he had been ignoring; they had taken their toll. I was notified by two Niagara police officers, who had been notified by the apartment complex manager, as I had been listed as his closest relative and the one to contact in case of emergency.

My husband has told me that I have to tell myself “what probably happened” and find some comfort in that. Most of the time the “probable” is enough — but not at the holidays. Then it is that I remember happier times from our own childhood days and renew my wishes that his life could have been more fulfilling for him — and that he had not died so tragically all alone.

So, like so many others, I struggle with some sad memories during the holiday season. I allow the mist to surround me for a time. And then I let in other, happier memories — as my mother and my brother would want me to do. For it is within my happy memories that they would want to be, too. My mother burning the “brown and serve rolls” every year without fail as they were the last thing to come out of the oven. My brother throwing open the back door and yelling “Happy New Year” to the entire neighborhood, for no one loved a party more than my brother.

So, allow those mists of memories to dwell in your soul for a while. Let the tears come. But then remember what your loved ones would want for you. They lived their lives, and they want you to do the same. Don’t disappoint them.

——

NURSING HOMES/SENIOR LIVING FACILITIES

Freeman Nursing and Rehabilitation Community

Kingsford

906-774-1530

They welcome anyone who would like to entertain residents. Volunteers are also needed to help with crafts and other activities.

Sunday: Church on TV/coloring,10 a.m.; Christmas party with Strong Tower Church, 2 p.m.

Monday: Rosary, 10 a.m.; room visits, 10 a.m.; music, 11:45 a.m.; reminisce, 1:30 p.m.; no sixes, dice, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Woodland Elementary School kids come to sing, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:45 a.m.; crafts, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday: For the love of hair, 10 a.m.; music, 11:45 a.m.; bingo, 1:30 p.m.; drinks and chatter, 3 p.m.

Thursday: Willow Kids Christmas/crafts, 10 a.m.; second group Willow Kids Christmas/crafts, 1 p.m.

Friday: Room visits, 10 a.m.; Skip-o, 10:30 a.m.; music, 11:45 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Visit with coffee at the nursing desk/resident choice.

Iron County Medical Care Facility

Crystal Falls

906-874-1501

Sunday: Room visits, 9 a.m.; puzzle time, 10 a.m.; chair exercise, 11 a.m.; room visits, 12:30 p.m.; afternoon matinee with popcorn, 1:30 p.m.

Monday: Cookie decorating workshop, 9:30 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; light tour, 5 p.m.

Tuesday: Sunshine Club, 9 a.m.; Book Club, 10 a.m.; Resident Council, 10:30 a.m.; Santa’s elves (cards and wrapping), 1 to 3 p.m.; wildlife film, 1:30 p.m.; holiday movie, 6 p.m.

Wednesday: Community breakfast, 8:30 a.m.; current events, 10 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; Christ United, 2 p.m.; just friends, 2:30 p.m.; night bingo, 6 p.m.

Thursday: Puzzler, 9:30 a.m.; bowling, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1 p.m.; travel film, 1:30 p.m.; happy hour with special music, 2 p.m.

Friday: Crafts, 9 to 10:30 a.m.; exercise, 10:45 a.m.; room visits, 1 p.m.; gifts from Santa party, 1:30 p.m.; holiday movie, 6 p.m.

Saturday: Puzzler/you be the judge, 10 a.m.; geri-gym, 11 a.m.; room visits, 12:30 p.m.; social hour, 2 p.m.

Optalis Healthcare

(formerly Manor Care/ProMedica)

Kingsford

906-774-4805

Sunday: File and style, 9 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bowling, 1 p.m.

Monday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; exercise, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; resident council, 10 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Hangman, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; stretch it out, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Bobbie Jo Riske, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Wet your whistle, 9 a.m.; who’s that? 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; Golden K bingo, 2 p.m.

Friday: Chips and chatter, 9 a.m.; reminiscing, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; “Jeopardy,” 1:30 p.m.

Saturday: Devotional, 9:30 a.m.; room visits, 11 a.m.; string ‘n’ bling, 1 p.m.

Maryhill Manor Nursing Home

Niagara, Wis.

715-251-3172

Sunday: Christmas crafts, 10 a.m.; delivery of communion, 12:30 p.m.; action movie and popcorn, 2 p.m.

Monday: Rosary/communion, 9 a.m.; pamper and polish, 10 a.m.; joker-eno, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Rosary/communion, 9 a.m.; target practice, 10 a.m.; resident council, 2 p.m.; candy making, 2:30 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Rosary/communion, 9 a.m.; Protestant service, 10 a.m.; Yahtzee, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; evening prayer, 5 p.m.

Thursday: Rosary, 9 a.m.; Catholic Mass, 9:30 a.m.; basketball, 10 a.m.; Scrabble, 2 p.m.; Chaplet of Divine Mercy, 3 p.m.

Friday: Men’s breakfast, 7 a.m.; hot chocolate/Uno, 10 a.m.; C & R happy hour, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Morning mingle/spelling bee, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Northshore Healthcare

Florence, Wis.

715-528-4833

Sunday: Independent activities.

Monday: Gingerbread, 10 a.m.; bowling, 2 p.m.

Tuesday: Resident council, 10 a.m.; Christmas manicure, 2 p.m.

Wednesday: Social/hot cocoa, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

Thursday: Bible study with Pastor Jason, 10 a.m.; bean bag toss, 2 p.m.

Friday: Catholic communion, 9:30 a.m.; Pastor Kathy, 10 a.m.; popcorn and movies, 2 p.m.

Saturday: Independent activities.

Victorian Pines

Iron Mountain

906-774-5158

Sunday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; Bible study, 1:30 p.m.

Monday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Tuesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; craft class, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Thursday: Communion with Deacon Dan, 10 a.m.; juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; tasty Thursday, 1:30 p.m.

Friday: Juice time, 10 a.m.; exercise, 11 a.m.; bingo and refreshments, 1:30 p.m.

Saturday: Juice time, 10 a.m.

Pinecrest Medical

Care Facility

Powers

906-497-5244

Sunday: Morning visits and reality orientation; church service, 10 a.m.; picture this, 11:15 a.m.; movie, 2 p.m.

Monday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; “Name That Tune,” 11:15 a.m.; window art, 2 p.m.; baking, 3:30 p.m.; picture day.

Tuesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; gingerbread houses, 10 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; book nook, 4 p.m.; picture day.

Wednesday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room/Christmas spirit drop-off, 9:30 a.m.; reminiscing, 11:15 a.m.; activity choice, 2 p.m.; sensory, 4 p.m.

Thursday: Morning visits and reality orientation; open room, 9:30 a.m.; trivia, 11:15 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.; book nook, 4 p.m.

Friday: Morning visits and reality orientation; Catholic Mass, 10:30 a.m.; opposite word game, 11:15 a.m.; lunch outing, 11:30 a.m.; paint and sip, 2 p.m.; cards, 4 p.m.

Saturday: Morning visits and reality orientation; noodle ball, 10 a.m.; trivia, 11:30 a.m.; bingo, 2 p.m.

SENIOR CENTERS

Alpha-Mastodon Center

906-875-3315

The center at 415 Main St. is open four days a week, serving soup and sandwich meal from noon to 1 p.m. Thursdays, fish fries from 4 to 7 p.m. Fridays, pizzas from 4 to 7 p.m. Saturdays and dinner from 2 to 3 p.m. Sundays.

Amasa Center

906-822-7284

Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Chicken parmesan, peas and carrots, broccoli salad.

Wednesday: Crunchy cod and vegetable casserole, coleslaw.

Thursday: Pork chops, mashed potatoes with gravy, wax beans.

Breen Center

Kingsford

906-774-5110

Open for dine-in eating Monday through Thursday, serving at noon. Friday and night meals are on hold indefinitely. Carryout meals are available. Soup and salad bar are also available. Menu for the week —

Monday: Hearty beef stew, biscuit, pudding cup.

Tuesday: Shredded barbecue chicken, macaroni and cheese, baked beans.

Wednesday: Pasty pie, beets, fresh fruit.

Thursday: Mushroom Swiss burger, french fries, coleslaw.

Note: All meals served with a choice of skim milk or juice and fruit.

Crystal Falls Center

Head Cook: Sterling Peryam

Assistant Cook: Bitsy Peryam

906-875-6709

The center is open on Mondays and is serving meals for dine-in or takeout — call the center by 1 p.m. to make reservations or place an order. All food is purchased from local vendors. All dinners include warm vegetables, salad bar, soup, homemade desserts, coffee, tea or milk. Salad bar begins at 4:30 p.m. and dinner is served at 5 p.m. Pickup for takeout meals is 4 p.m. — call ahead and leave a message with phone number. A volunteer will deliver meals to homebound citizens only.

Menu for the week —

Monday: Spaghetti with Italian sausage, garlic bread.

Tuesday: Chop suey, rice, chow mein noodles.

Wednesday: Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes.

Home-delivered meals (prepared by DICSA — independent from above menu) —

Monday: Teriyaki chicken breast, squash, dinner roll.

Tuesday: Liver and onions, roasted potatoes, corn.

Wednesday: Broccoli cheese soup, side salad, pudding cup.

Thursday: Shepherd’s pie, beets, biscuit.

Dickinson-Iron Community Services Agency

DICSA

Iron Mountain

906-774-2256, ext. 230 or 235

This is a Meals on Wheels program only. Home-delivered meals only — call to make arrangements. Menu for the week —

Monday: Teriyaki chicken breast, squash, dinner roll.

Tuesday: Liver and onions, roasted potatoes, corn.

Wednesday: Broccoli cheese soup, side salad, pudding cup.

Thursday: Shepherd’s pie, beets, biscuit.

Friday: Chicken salad sandwich, chips, fresh fruit, string cheese.

Note: All meals include a choice of skim milk, juice, or no beverage.

For more information, call Christine McMahon at 906-774-2256.

Crystal Lake Center

Iron Mountain

906-828-1776

Schedule for the week:

Monday: Les Artistes’ Art Club, noon to 4 p.m.; woodcarvers, starting at 9 a.m.

Tuesday: Cards, pinochle and cribbage, noon to 4 p.m.; Happy Quilters, noon to 3 p.m.

Wednesday: Bingo, 1 to 3 p.m.; cards cost 25 cents with 10 games played.

Thursday: Spinning Spools quilting, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Friday: Cards, smear, noon to 4 p.m.

Felch Center

906-246-3559

Open for dine-in eating — call for serving times. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —

Monday: Biscuits and gravy, fried apples, oven-browned potatoes.

Tuesday: Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes with gravy, winter blend vegetables.

Wednesday: French bread pizza, cheesy bread stick with sauce, Jell-O with fruit.

Note: All meals served with skim milk or juice.

Home-delivered meals —

Monday: Teriyaki chicken breast, squash, dinner roll.

Tuesday: Liver and onions, roasted potatoes, corn.

Wednesday: Broccoli cheese soup, side salad, pudding cup.

Aging and Disability Resource Center

Florence County, Wis.

715-528-4890

Director: Tiffany White

Menu for the week —

Monday: Sub sandwich, oven fries, baked beans, fruit.

Tuesday: Waikiki meatballs, rice, Oriental vegetables, fruit.

Wednesday: Cheese ravioli, carrots, dark green salad, garlic bread, Christmas cookies.

Thursday: Baked ham, company potatoes, green bean casserole, whole wheat rolls, gingerbread bars.

Friday: Garden quiche, dark green salad, cherry tomato salad, fruit.

Note: All meals served with whole grain bread, butter and milk.

Fence Center/Town Hall

715-336-2980

RSVP for meal at 855-528-2372

Same as ADRC menu, served at noon on Wednesdays only.

Florence Community Center/Town Hall

RSVP for meal at 715-528-4261

Same as ADRC menu, served at 11:30 a.m., Monday through Thursday.

Reservations for a meal onsite need to be made 48 hours in advance by calling the above number.

Tipler Town Hall

RSVP for meals at 715-674-2320

Same as ADRC menu, served at noon on second Thursday only.

Hillcrest Senior Dining Center, Aurora

RSVP for meals at 715-589-4491

Same as ADRC menu, served at 11:30 a.m. Monday through Friday.

Hermansville Center

Coordinator: Barb Peters

906-498-7735

Center is open 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday. Meals are served through the Menominee-Delta-Schoolcraft Community Action Agency in Escanaba. Meals-On-Wheels program is available for those who are homebound.

Monday: Breaded chicken breast, hamburger bun, potato wedges, Prince William vegetables and fruit mix.

Tuesday: Beef stroganoff with mushrooms, corn, seven-way mixed vegetables, applesauce.

Wednesday: Chicken Kiev, garlic mashed potatoes, Key Largo vegetables, dinner roll, fruit cup, pistachio dessert.

Thursday: Beef barley soup, meat sandwich on whole wheat bread, raw baby carrots, cook’s choice fruit cup.

Friday: Pepper steak with peppers over rice, California blend vegetables, warm fruit crisp.

Iron River Center

906-265-6134

Open for dine-in eating, serving at 11 a.m. Salad bar is available. No night meals at this time. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —

Monday: Chicken divan, spiced applesauce, dinner roll.

Tuesday: Enchiladas, fiesta corn, cheesy rice.

Wednesday: Cheeseburger, french fries, baked beans.

Thursday: Chicken and dumplings, wax beans, dinner roll.

Niagara Senior Center/Café

715-251-1603

The center is open, and dinner is served at noon on Monday through Thursday. Reservations are required one day in advance. Suggested donation is $5 for those older than 60 and $11 for 60 and younger. Bingo played on most Wednesdays. Transportation is available.

Monday: Cube steak with mushroom gravy, rice pilaf, mixed vegetables, bread, peanut butter cookie.

Tuesday: Brat patty on a bun, potato wedges, baked beans, fruited Jell-O.

Wednesday: Meatballs with gravy, mashed potatoes, corn, spice cake.

Thursday: Cabbage rolls, broccoli, dinner roll, pears.

Bingo will be offered at the center on Mondays and Wednesdays this month.

Norway Center

Director: Joyce Olesky

Head Cook: Brian Gutkowski

906-563-8716

Open for dine-in eating beginning at 11:15 a.m. Salad bar is available from 10:30 to 11 a.m. Takeout meals will remain available for pick-up from 11 to 11:30 a.m. Let staff know if planning to dine in or pick up. Menu for the week —

Monday: Homemade chili, corn, cornbread.

Tuesday: Cranberry chicken wrap, sweet potato fries, vegetable.

Wednesday: Spaghetti or polenta, garlic bread, vegetable.

Thursday: Shepherd’s pie, biscuit, vegetable.

All meals include milk, juice, fruit, bread and dessert.

Center activity schedule:

Mondays and Thursdays — Exercise at 10 a.m. and card bingo after the meal.

Monday through Thursday — Card game 101 from noon to 3 p.m. Call Joe at 906-563-5587 for information.

Tuesdays — Quilting and sewing.

Wednesdays — Ceramics and crocheting.

Last Monday of each month — Book club at 9 a.m.

Second Thursday of each month — Birthdays and bingo.

Sagola Center

906-542-3273

Open for dine-in eating — call for serving times. Carryout meals also available. Menu for the week —

Tuesday: Tuna melt, sweet potato fries, coleslaw.

Wednesday: Roast beef, mashed potatoes with gravy, mixed vegetables.

Thursday: Cheeseburgers, potato salad, baked beans.

All meals served with an option of milk, juice or no beverage.

Home-delivered meals —

Monday: Teriyaki chicken breast, squash, dinner roll.

Tuesday: Liver and onions, roasted potatoes, corn.

Wednesday: Broccoli cheese soup, side salad, pudding cup.